Relatable

You can't hurry love

By giffinator6 - 01/09/2023 10:00

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me for a girl he's barely known for 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 126

Working from home, the pros and cons

By Anonymous - 01/09/2023 08:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I was WFH on a video call with my team when my toddler barged into the room. As I tried to calmly guide her out, she managed to turn my Bluetooth speaker on, which started blasting "Baby Shark" to my entire team. They now have a new nickname for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 215

When it rains, it pours

By Wolfie - 31/08/2023 22:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was updating our company's tracking system, lovingly making sure every load was set up to track, asking drivers to accept tracking, excluding some from reporting that didn't track right, deleting unnecessary loads. Then I deleted an extremely important load. The one load that absolutely should not have been deleted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 293

Same!

By o…… - 31/08/2023 20:00

Today, at the age of 27, I still can’t so much as look at a marker without getting marker on my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 196

Simp

By Anonymous - 31/08/2023 10:00

Today, an old flame reached out with some truly filthy intent. After burning with righteous indignation, I ended up sending back some embarrassingly submissive pictures. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 650

Good boy

By hypocrites!! - 30/08/2023 10:00

Today, I was given an ultimatum; either get rid of my beloved dog who’s my literal only source of happiness, or find a new place to live (which I can’t afford). My asshole neighbors keep complaining about my sweet boy’s barking, meanwhile their bratty bastards are 10 times louder. It’s not fair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 521

Impasse

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 04:00

Today, my wife and I have a perfect life together, nice house, nice cars, fun hobbies, fun holidays, love each other, lots of sex and so on. After 12 years of marital bliss, she wants to ruin all that by having a baby, and has even threatened divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 1 019

Time to skedaddle

By Anonymous - 29/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Queens

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to date other people, but still wants to be with me. He said, “Yes I want to be with you, but maybe we can both find better.” I found out he’s been texting another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 110

Technology

By Anonymous - 29/08/2023 16:00

Today, I used the last dollar in my PayPal Tap to pay to get myself a little something for work lunch. The register glitched just before the transaction finished, but it still took the money. No cash, no lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 108

Fairweather friends

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 14:00 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my dad is terminally ill from bone cancer. It’s been 2 months and not even one of my so-called friends have asked me how I’m doing or how my parents are doing. They do however contact me when they need something. I have always been there for them - guess I was a fool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 137

Alexa, play "Communication Breakdown" by Led Zeppelin

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 04:00

Today, I've always needed to share stories about things that made me upset to my boyfriend, and I thought he was my safe place to do so. I've always talked to him, and so has he. If he got upset, he'd tell me what's bothering him. Now he says he doesn't like it because I always talk to him about it. Now I have no one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 211

Bladder control

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 14:00

Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 164

Wonky fear

By mala_19 - 27/08/2023 08:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 636

Fight, flight, or freeze

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 12:00 - Papua New Guinea - Port Moresby

Today, I ran into someone I'd never had a crush on in school, but because I've realised we have a lot in common, I get nervous whenever I see him. I was so near to him while paying for food that I had an anxiety attack, and had to leave quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 304

High school reunions blow anyway

By Spaceballs - 27/08/2023 00:02

Today, I got an invite to my high school reunion. With visions of wowing my former classmates, I set about starting a diet and exercise regimen. The universe had other plans. On my first run out in the fields, I managed to trip over an invisible pebble, fall into a puddle, and fuck my ankle up. The only thing I'm reuniting with now is my couch and a bag of ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 219

Haha

By Anon - 24/08/2023 10:00 - France

Today, I finally thought it was time to confess my feelings to my crush. I wrote and rewrote my DM for a long time, only to send them a meme about penguins instead of the heartfelt message. They replied with a confused, "haha". FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 677

Coinkydink? I think not

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 20:00

Today, my husband and I ran into his high school girlfriend at the mall. We were catching up and my husband told her that we have a daughter. She asked what our daughter's name, but my husband hesitated and tried to change the subject, so I told her it was Juniper. That was her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 138

Hazardous waste

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 09:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, I was taking a relaxing soak in the tub with my essential oils, when my husband walked in and proceeded to take the most foul-smelling dump ever. The toilet is right next to the bathtub, so my essential oils didn’t stand a chance. Besides that, our house has four other bathrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 169

Stuck in a rut

By Mary - 23/08/2023 08:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I realized I don't have a family, I only have garbage people who have been sucking my time, my money, and my life from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 129

City boy

By Where? - 23/08/2023 08:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I went on a hike with friends, but as I'm the worst outdoorsperson because I rarely venture outside of the city, I ended up getting lost in some woods after straying from our group. I ended up having to call 911 to be rescued. My friends will absolutely not let me live this ordeal down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 852

Foot soldier

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 22:00

Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 387

Outrage monger

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 20:00

Today, my sister blamed me for everything again. We're twins and have the same friends, but they all like her better because she's an extrovert and I'm an introvert, and I'm sick of her getting mad at me, copying me, blaming me and making my life miserable for no reason. Why does everyone think I'm so pathetic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 179

Time to leave

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 08:00

Today, my ex called me, apologetic about her mistakes, and saying she realised she wants to be with me. I eventually agreed to coffee, just to see if the old spark was still there. I ended up leaving after 0.0000005 seconds. She was 6 months pregnant with some other dude's baby. I wasted my afternoon for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 175

So far…

By sutz22 - 22/08/2023 00:02 - Italy

Today, marks the day I break up with my boyfriend after being cheated on for years, and getting a few STIs from him. It's also the year my mum died, and so did my dog, just 20 days apart. 2023 has not been my year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 138

Doghouse

By Krissi - 21/08/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 527

Relax, don't do it

By Anonymous - 21/08/2023 06:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was excited to finally use the expensive bath bombs I'd been saving. I filled the tub, dropped one in, and settled in for a relaxing soak. The bath bomb fizzed so much that it created a bubble mountain that spilled over, flooding my bathroom with colorful suds. My "relaxing" bath turned into a Slip 'N Slide adventure as I tried to mop up the mess in my birthday suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 190

My type of dude

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I realized I have a type: a man who is highly intelligent to begin with, but then either decides to apply his IQ exclusively to theoretical thinking and not real life, or who purposely dulls his wits to the point where you can hardly even have a conversation any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 215

Well done!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Newark

Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising, and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to third base with his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 747

You deserved it 3 233

A step too far

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 10:00

Today, my mother keeps nagging me to find a wife, settle down, and have kids, even though I have zero interest in any of those things. She refuses to understand that I’m perfectly content being completely on my own. She even signed me up to Tinder without my knowledge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 106

This is fine

By Anonymous - 19/08/2023 16:00

Today, my husband has a chronic illness and can't work. We have 2 special needs kids who need a lot of assistance. Rent continues to go up and went up this year $570 for a total of $1800. I've taken up a second job to make ends meet, but it's increasing my depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 192

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 236

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 450

You deserved it 75 878

Today, I was talking to my wife about my struggles with being recognized for what I do well at work, which is partially my own fault since I share credit where I can. Her response wasn't to say, "They should try to see your strong points," but to wonder if she should get a job for financial security for herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 409

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 095

You deserved it 65 959

Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 169

You deserved it 4 004

Today, while on the job as a cop, I was breaking up a loud house party. We were just doing one final check of the house, we walked into the bathroom to find a kid furiously wanking in the bath. This isn't the first time I've seen something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 391

You deserved it 3 082