Asshat
Today, I got a call from my husband, saying that he wants a divorce, he’s been seeing his colleague and that she’s more compatible to him. I’ve just given birth to out first child. He told me, "Aww, good luck with that." FML
Today, I got a call from my husband, saying that he wants a divorce, he’s been seeing his colleague and that she’s more compatible to him. I’ve just given birth to out first child. He told me, "Aww, good luck with that." FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, after seeing an old viral video on YouTube, my boyfriend started calling me Sharkeisha. Our friends thought he was implying that I'm violent with him. FML
Today, I realized that the guy that I've liked for the past 7 months is actually a girl. I've told all my friends about how much I like him, but no one bothered to tell me that he's actually a girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after she found a disgusting and perverted porn site on my internet history. What was this site? Reddit. FML
Today, my fiancée called off our wedding out of the blue. After a long discussion about it, it turns out that last week I voiced an opinion about the wedding she didn’t agree with, and doesn’t want to spend her life married to someone who’s going to argue with her every five minutes. FML
Today, I tried to tell a girl that I had watched her Purdue boyfriend flirt around at every frat party. She thinks I'm lying and blocked me. Now all my friends are angry at me because he was a "nice guy" and she "didn't need to know." FML
Today, I casually hooked up with a guy with no strings attached. Later, we had a great conversation and I suddenly realized that I have feelings for him. He wants nothing even close to a relationship and probably doesn't like me back. FML
Today, I hadn’t seen my boyfriend since New Year’s Day, then we went out for lunch Valentine's Day and at the end of the date he didn’t even kiss me. He texted me at midnight tonight saying he sorry he’s a jerk and broke up with me. FML
Today, I searched my ex-boyfriend on Facebook while my husband slept. He recently got engaged. I regret everything. FML
Today, I spent Valentine's Day with my crush. Not as a romantic thing, though. Instead, she invited me to spend the weekend at her house with her whole family for her sister's birthday party. Not the kind of invitation I had in mind, but thanks anyway. At least chocolate won't let me down. FML
Lunar-Spice tells us more.
Hey, OP here! So, to explain, I've been really good friends with this girl for a while. She came out to me about six months ago, and I, in turn, came out to her. We had been dancing around topics like relationships and crushes for a long time. We've kind of flirted in the past, especially during game nights when we would play Truth Or Dare with two other close friends. We don't choose each other's truths or dares; we use an app that comes up with everything. So we have kissed in the past and sat on each other's laps, but I still didn't know how she truly felt about me. After reading some of your comments (21 and 30) who assured me that inviting me to her house was indeed a good sign, I decided to bite the bullet and confess to her. Actually, to be honest, I started by saying "I like you" and couldn't quite get the rest out. She had to make sure I meant in a romantic way. Super awkward, but we pushed past it. And to comment 22, you can go suck a lemon. She actually DOES feel the same way about me. I know, shocking. That's actually never happened before; I usually get rejected, so I couldn't quite process what was happening. And yes, she's known about my ENORMOUS crush for a while now, but for some reason didn't bring it up. It was actually comment 5 that gave me the final push to ask her. I had never heard about The Problem With Lesbian Sheep, so I had to look it up, but I am very grateful that I did. I think it was the visualization of the sheep that spurred me on. We had a movie night last night. She's a big fan of horror movies, so she popped the popcorn and I supplied the movie. I'm not sure where we'll go from here, but it's looking good guys!
Today, my husband of 4 years is tagged in a #ValentinesDayChallenge post on Facebook. No, I didn’t tag him. FML
Today, my crush came up to me at a college party and said "I like you." I tried to be cool and said sarcastically, "Thank you. I like myself too. That was a wonderful prank." He was amazed, and asked me how I knew it was a prank. FML
Today, I have to listen to my flatmate complaining that ladies don’t shag him anymore since his dad in Saudi Arabia cut him off. Apparently, they show a lot of interest until he reveals his financial situation. The dude actually thought he was God's gift to women instead of a mobile ATM. What a tool. FML
Today, my boyfriend left me because he found out I cheated on my first boyfriend when I was 12. That was back before I knew what "cheating" was and I thought it was okay to love more than one person. FML
Today, my phone chose not to deliver a message to my girlfriend. This isn't the first time either; It has a habit of failing to deliver or receive messages to/from her, making it look like I'm ignoring her by not responding. It only does this with her, none of my other contacts. My phone may be trying to sabotage my relationship. FML
Today, after waking up beside my girlfriend to get ready to go to work, I leaned down to kiss her while she was still asleep, and she said, "Have a good day Jake." My name starts with a J, but it's not Jake. FML
Today, I was chilling with my best friend and suddenly I got a text from my ex saying he wanted me back. My best friend saw the text and said, "Don't go back with him, you deserve better." I wanted to go back with him but I didn't. Later, I saw them hanging out and turns out they're dating. FML
Today, I told my wife I wasn’t comfortable with her going out with an old guy friend. Petty, sure, but our sex life is non-existent. I found out that she's been seeing him behind my back for months, spent the night with him last week and claims there’s nothing going on. Trying to decide whether I should stay or go. FML
Today, I'm 26-year-old woman and I've never had a date for Valentine's Day, never been on a date, or received flowers. This pandemic makes me think I never will. FML
Today, my sister showed me my arrogant, misogynistic, cheating ex’s Facebook. Since we broke up, he’s become an officer in the Marines and has traveled the world. I’m clinically depressed and in poverty. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, I looked at cute baby clothes while my friend was in the check-out line at JC Penny. It made me want to cry. I'm almost 33, childless, and so unattractive I couldn't pay someone to be into me. FML
Today, I went on a jogging date with a guy I'd been on a couple of dates with. I was a little worried that I wouldn't keep up, but I did and everything was fine. Or at least I thought so. After we'd finished, he dumped me. FML
Today, I woke up with a scream of pain to find the reason I've had so many realistic dreams lately: my boyfriend has been messing with me in my sleep because he thinks my reactions are funny. For instance, when he pinched me today, I experienced a very realistic wasp sting in my dream. FML
Today, I was hitting it off pretty well with a girl I met through a dating app. However, she's never going to speak to me again because I also happened to "match" with her friend. How was I supposed to know they knew each other? FML
Today, finally in a the right state of mind to move on from my ex, she dropped a nuke in my life by stating she's getting married. FML
Today, I tried to quit my job of almost 6 years so I can date the man of my dreams, one of my bosses. When I gave my 3 weeks notice so they can try to replace me, they refused to accept it. My potential boyfriend won't see me anymore until I quit and can't tell my other managers why I need to quit. FML
IrialNiall tells us more.
IrialNiall 12
I have another job lined up, no problem, and am already hired in. It made more sense for me to be the one to leave since I'm hourly and he's salary. I love my job, but I hate it at the same time, so it's a bit of both. He never asked me to leave though, I offered to be the one to go somewhere else. He's never struck me as controlling or anything like that before, and still doesn't now. But neither of us wants to be fired. I don't think you're cynical at all, by the way, and actually appreciate you're honesty and POV
Today, I got married to my girlfriend of three years. Her mother's Alzheimer's came into play at the wedding when she asked who I was. My bride-to-be couldn't stop crying. FML
Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML
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