Job interview

Impressive

By Anonymous - 05/03/2021 08:01

Today, I had a big job interview on Zoom. I forgot my name was set as "Fat F***". I joined the call and the older lady interviewing me was very offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 1 551

Detailed

By tango-c - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Parker

Today, I sent a cover letter in which I bragged about my exceptional attention to detail. After it was sent, I noticed the company name and address were from a different job application. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 179

You deserved it 19 334

You ain't from around here, are you?

By Sylv - 15/03/2023 02:00

Today, I was running late for a job interview so I took what I thought was a shortcut through an dank alleyway. I ended up getting chased by a pack of stray cats and arrived at the interview covered in scratches and cat hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 264

Tales of the Unexpected

By maddyUnderstood - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I went into a job interview for Quizno's. The boss there talked to me for an hour and half about everything on God's green earth. She noticed I was a certified swim instructor. I left Quizno's with no job, but with an appointment to teach the boss how to swim tomorrow at 9 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 217

You deserved it 259

The Apprentice

By panther of the desert - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Puerto Rico - Rio Grande

Today, I was to have an important phone interview for a job. I got a call and everything went perfectly, and they said I was hired. Later, I found out that one of my "friends" had gotten one of his buddies to prank call me and make sure the line was engaged when the real interviewer called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 884

You deserved it 2 313

Road to nowhere

By Anonymous - 05/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I was driving to an important job interview, and I was running late. Just as I was about to get on the highway, I saw my ex standing by the road with a flat tire. I stopped to help because I'm a nice person. Turns out, the spare tire was also flat. We called for a tow truck, and I missed my interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 572

Flustered

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 00:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet a potential client. As soon as I sat down, I knocked my coffee over, and it splashed all over my lap. I tried to play it off by making a joke, but I hadn’t brought a spare pair of pants, and the client turned up just as I was mopping my crotch with paper towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 139

Running late

By It’s your guy - 16/08/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom - Bedford

Today, I'm stuck in traffic and the rain is pouring. I guess I'll just have to wait until this is over. I wonder what I'll say to the interviewer when he cancels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 174

Stars of CCTV

By Guess I'm jobless - 10/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 250

By MGZ - 19/10/2009 02:33 - United States

Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 413

You deserved it 8 590

Melting man

By Anonymous - 12/04/2023 18:00

Today, I was on my way to a relatively important interview when I realized that I'd forgotten to put on antiperspirant. Once seated, I was so nervous that I started sweating profusely under my light blue shirt, and by the end of the whole ordeal I had huge sweat stains under my armpits, down to my elbows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 258

Rash decision

By caiti - 06/08/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 386

You deserved it 4 463

Wurdz is hard

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 12:00 - Ireland

Today, during a job interview, the interviewer asked me to "tell me a little about myself." Nervous, I started with, "Well, I was born at a very young age…" I'm pretty sure I won’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 209

You all sound the same

By kaitlin - 04/06/2021 14:01

Today, I got my first job interview since the pandemic started, with Dollar Tree. The interview was going great, until I accidentally said ,"Dollar General." Safe to say I’m not getting that job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 230

That escalated quickly

By lonelyharts86 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 277

You deserved it 3 907

Due diligence

By jobless - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Buffalo

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nitwit candidates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 116

You deserved it 3 911

Welcome to the machine

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I overheard the interviewer discussing my appearance with his colleague. I’ll admit my shirt didn’t exactly fit and my shoes were in bad shape, but I’m so broke that this is all I could afford at the thrift store. I’d have better clothes if my getting a job didn’t require me having nice clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 99

Great first impression

By Anonymous - 04/02/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up early for a job interview. I got lost and arrived an hour late, only to find out it was the wrong day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 710

Too trusting

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 20:00

Today, I made the major mistake of trusting a fart during a job interview. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 1 068

Clueless

By Anonymous - 11/06/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after my dad got frustrated at me last month for not having a job and completely taking over my job searching, claiming it’s not that hard and he’d show me how it’s done. Since then, not one company has called or emailed him back and he doesn’t know why. Welcome to job searching in 2024, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 98

Lost references

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 03:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after three interviews, I accepted an offer for my dream job and submitted my notice. The company called me to say they couldn't contact my referees and have now withdrawn the offer. I'm now officially unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 211

Be happy for me

By IHaveThePower - 01/10/2021 20:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I got offered an interview for a great job. My father then spent the entire dinner telling me how pointless it was, and how I should apply to the factory next door because I would spend all the extra money on gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 106

That one special feeling

By Chris - 23/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went to a job interview, and halfway through my perfectly rehearsed answers, my stomach started growling loudly. I tried to keep calm, but then it let out the most embarrassing noise I’ve ever heard. The interviewer paused what he was saying, then said, "Are you hungry or do you need to fart?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 102

Hello?

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 03:31 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 294

You deserved it 2 533

Pleased to meet you

By Mano steel - 03/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, I arrived for a job interview and I wanted to give a firm handshake to make a good impression, because apparently that's a thing. I squeezed the interviewer's hand so hard I heard a "crack" and they winced in pain. I'm never taking advice from a random LinkedIn post ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 677

Dial back the passion

By David - 16/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, during a job interview on Zoom, I tried to sound passionate and said, “I eat marketing for breakfast.” The interviewer then asked what I have for lunch. I panicked and said, “Analytics… and sometimes interns.” I haven’t heard back yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 504

Bad timing

By amya - 17/10/2009 08:39 - Canada

Today, I had a phone interview for a job I've had my eye on forever. I was dumped a few hours before the interview, but was okay until I was put on hold with music playing. Me and my boyfriend's song came on and I started bawling. I could hardly talk when they took me off hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 396

You deserved it 9 961

High expectations

By Anonymous - 29/09/2021 11:00

Today, I was super flattered to find out that one of my former white collar colleagues recommended me for a job. It wasn’t until the phone interview that I realized it was at the lunch counter at her new office building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 125

Thanks for coming in, Mr Belch

By ZG1 - 13/02/2021 20:00

Today, I burped and sneezed during a job interview, I don’t think they were impressed by my talents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 253

Demanding

By ImScrewedddd - 22/05/2022 04:00

Today, my lazy, spoiled brat of a daughter screwed up her third job interview in the past month. She keeps self-sabotaging by asking the employers about the pay and benefits, and if she doesn’t like it, she walks out on them. Then she rants on how nobody wants to hire her. Gee, I wonder why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 2 098

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Farts Gross Shopping Miscellaneous Weird Holidays Vacation Paranoia Parents Love Awkward Moving home Sports Sex Intimacy Work Transportation Cars Annoying Garden Cooking Teachers Embarrassing School Relatable Airplanes Kids I need your advice

The Top

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There were around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is, and doesn't think it exists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 287

You deserved it 3 410

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 107

You deserved it 23 249

Today, I went on a volunteering trip with a team. We had only a pickup car for like 20 people, so 5 of us squeezed in the back seats while the rest hopped on the back. My knee got stuck right on another guy's crotch and it was impossible for us to change position. We stayed for 40 minutes like that, me feeling his penis the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 147

Today, on the advice of a girl from sales, I sent a company-wide email with the subject line, "FOR SALE - 2010 Toyota Camry." I realized the social faux pas a minute later when my department head replied-to-all, "FOR SALE - half eaten sandwich." Now everyone thinks I’m a dumbass for confusing company emails for Craigslist, and for believing anyone who works in sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 543

Today, I came home and my spouse decided to bring up our past arguments. I apologized to him for the mean things I said, not conjuring his faults. I spoke to him gently and was interested in his thoughts. I validated his feelings. I was engaged in the discussion. He responded to me with, “Too little too late!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 310

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 163

You deserved it 5 781