Le epic bacon

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 228
You deserved it 50 675

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Bacon strips, and bacon strips, and bacon strips... Next generation bacon flip! You can thank epic mealtime for your castle of delicious bacon.!

I would eat rocks if it were wrapped in bacon.


Your life must suck. Like, oh my god. How terrible!

Bacon strips, and bacon strips, and bacon strips... Next generation bacon flip! You can thank epic mealtime for your castle of delicious bacon.!

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Yeah I was gonna say, I hope EMT doesn't see this..

Ok everyone needs to stop asking the same fucking question!!!!! Yeah OP HATES bacon! Ooooh big fucking deal!!!!

DontModMeDammit 10

*Random bird noise*

punkin_26 16

Are you a vegetarian 52. Is that why you are getting so upset? I LOVE bacon! And I'm highly offended by your lack of respect for the most amazing food in the world!

I would eat rocks if it were wrapped in bacon.

You know why it's a big fucking deal? Because bacon is amazing. God didn't think the Jews could handle it's deliciousness so that's why pigs are unclean in their religion. I just like to think God wanted all the bacon to himself.

juston_p 1

Hell yeah

97- if I had rocks wrapped in bacon I would first unwrap the rocks and then just eat the bacon


I hate Op for hating bacon. My motto: "it's so worth buying the expensive bacon!"

Even though i love bacon (in fact i believe that if there is a church that worships a monster made of spaghetti aka: The Flying Spagheti Monster, there should be a church that worships a momster made of bacon aka: Pig) you are all being too harsh, so OP doesnt like bacon, boo hoo, grow up kids

MrBoredGuy 1

Most sex isn't even as good as crispy bacon

yaldo_fml 0

Not everyone likes bacon. I'm Muslim and I can't eat pork like you. It's fucking disgusting. They're carnivorous, eat their own young, and live in and eat their own shit

Well then don't foment no one gives a fuck.if your religion prevents you from eating pork that's your problem. Bacon ftw fucker!!

Don't forget the Jack Daniels!

168- Only those able to look past the faults and into the beauty of pig deserve something as glorious as bacon.

If someone made me a house of bacon I would LOVE that person and worship him/her the rest of my life.

All hail the crispy heaven known as bacon!!

ZebcoGirl 0

52- stfu. drama queen..

64 & 100 I'm NOT vegetarian, I actually come from a house where we put bacon In lots of foods. I love bacon too but I do know how to respect what other people like. I'm just tired of everyone posting the same fucking question...

p8ntcheck 4

97- and after I ate the bacon off the rocks I woudl like the rocks clean due to the bacony flavor :D

235- Then get the fuck off. No one is making you read the comments shithole.

nero9112 4

I don't understand what is the big deal about a person disliking bacon. I also don't like bacon. No, I am not a vegetarian, nor am I religious. I simply do not like the taste. Problem?

@ 256, no one is making you read his comments. Why don't you just leave if you don't want to read his comments. No need to be a bitch about it.

262- Uh ya I do have a problem... How the hell could some one not like bacon besides being a vegitaran or for religeousness? Please get ur priorites strait!


266 lol thanks :) and I'm a girl!!! Love your bio! I don't know why people hate on Nickelback...

256 FUCK off!!!! You're a bitch! I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!

Bacon causes cancer which is why I don't eat it anymore, but I do love the taste and smell

Who the fuck told you bacon causes cancer? Bacon only causes orgasms and smiles.

Water causes cancer these days. I'm pretty sure if Yessy put some bacon in her mouth right now she'd stfu and nom nom nom. Or was that put a pork sword in your mouth? Wait...

ollallie 0

Omg I love bacon I'm a Texas girl though so that might be why

That's what you get for being friends with MUSCLES GLASSES. Now go get some JACK DANIEL'S. *Random Bird Noise* SMART.

KronikSplakkn 4

We hate you for hating bacon .

TheBitchOfChuckN 7

262-Yes, there IS a problem.

even the vegetarians I know make an exception for bacon.

Y'all don't like bacon? Stupendous! More for me. :3

blackheart24 10

Bacon is the food of the gods. All bacon haters are sinners. Bacon forever.

Farmers these days use cheap Chinese pig feed that has lead paint in it. Google it.

Strafeh 9

God isn't real... So you are wrong

Strafeh 9

God isn't real... So you are wrong

Strafeh 9

God isn't real :/ You are wrong

Is it wrong that I hate it too

lool im okay with it but honestly i dont see the big deal, i guess it's just a passing trend. i mean, before EMT there wouldn't be such arguments about bacon, at least not many. im not vegetarian nor religious and i LOVE animals bit also meat. it's called being HUMAN. what's the big deal, guys?

At your description, Thats what she said

kate1238 9

I used to not like it but changed i love it now lol

230- I would eat it

I enjoy bacon but I'm not saying it's the greatest thing in the world like some of these people on here. I have It once in a while.

fuck bacon. (vote down now)

BACON STRIPS FOR ALL THOSE HATER LIPS!!!!!! Also, 168, most people in the world eat more meat than veggies (not necessarily carnivorous but still), some animal species have to eat their young for lack of food, and some PEOPLE, roll around in their filth anyway! I have nothing against Muslims, but it must be a horrible life not believing it right to eat bacon.... =|

A bacon castle? That's SMART.


All this talk about bacon is getting me hungry for bacon.....

I'm vegan and the thing I miss most is bacon :(

How CAN you?? :O

ironik69 31

Agreed. I knew a chick that was a vegetarian, and she would chew the bacon to get the awesome flavor, then just spit out the actual meat. Can't deprive yourself. :D

So. Much. Win

its people like you who go to hell!

Anaxes 5

I find bacon tastes like crap, real men eat innocent looking animals like lamb, usually drenched in vinegar or an appropriate sauce. Although most people think Mc'donalds is worth paying money for (If anything, I should get paid to eat their poisoned garbage). Now that I have established a link between the two, disliking this comment makes you simple sheep who eat for marketing instead of taste. #420 - She's not a vegetarian, she's a bitch who wants people to think she has a superior moral base but is far too weak and pathetic to do anything meaningful to prove it, so she half asses it and people are too weak to call them out because they care about their "feelings". Next time you see her, shank her until she gains a viewpoint that makes sense.

I think OP misspelled LOVE...

Drummerboy1234 0

168 - then how can pigs produce ONLY THE GREATEST TASTING THING GOD HAS EVER BLESSED US WITH?!?!?!?!

Haters gonna hate but bacon = god

WHAT F**KING BACON! - courtesy of the play "the dreamers"

I love everything about bacon the taste the smell Bacon and eggs on toast + sausages + pancakes = best breakfast ever!! OP YDI !!!! HOW COULD YOU NOT LIKE BACONNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Until I was about 12/13 I hated bacon, now I love it, except I became a vegetarian a few years ago so I can't eat it :/ but I still love the smell even if I can't eat it :)

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
Bbhd05 0

Bacon hates you too OP. cheers fuckface.

gabrielbaby 9

Excuse me but just because they don't like bacon doesn't mean they deserve this. If you don't like something you don't Deserve to have someone make you something for your birthday out of it. If you don't like cats, do you want one for your birthday? This is an fml because their friend was inconsiderate.

109- YES IT DOES!!!!!!!!

ReesesPuffs 0

My picture explains this perfectly.

Buttsexpirate 9

Hating bacon is like hating America. Our country was founded so that bacon lovers could come together and eat bacon!

109 - You seem like the kind of person who would whine about getting a gift they didn't like instead of being the better man and accepting it.

109, first world problems much?

Agreed, what's wrong with you OP?

My countrg's main export is bacon And windmills, you must hate Denmark then OP

This is the most fucked up FML I have ever read! Hating bacon is like hating breathing.

Terribly sorry, but I could've sworn I just read the words "hate" and "bacon" in the same sentence. I'm having trouble comprehending... I think the OP may have made some sort of terrible typo or something.

In which case, you are not a vegetarian. §

Michael_Kelso 0

You can't openly hate bacon on the Internet!

I was vegetarian for four years, went out on my 18th birthday, got drunk, woke up the next day to mum cooking bacon, I've never looked back. Bacon is the greatest.

I like bacon and I'm a vegetarian.

Umm... If you don't like bacon, odds are, you don't have a soul. Bacon is the universal love of all humans.

Wait.. Wait... How is this possible? Everyone knows bacon is the universal love of all humanity! >.< Pigs were put on this earth to give us their glorious meats!

iEatWookies 1


I want to slap you SOOO hard for writing such a ridiculous FML... you should hate your life for having no taste in food. who DOESN'T love bacon??? *obviously, I'm looking at you

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
FYLDeep 25

That's the FML. All that other shit is just filler. It could have just been, "Today, I hate bacon. FML".

tweetbaby14 18

They don't have a soul that's how.


He don't hate the bacon. The bacon hates him. :)

22cute 17

I want a bacon castle :(

What's wrong with OP?

Bacon is meat candy.

How is this possible? Everyone knows bacon is the universal love of all humans! Pigs were put on this earth to give us their glorious meats!

tylersign 11

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

OMG first vegetarian I ever heard (read) say they like bacon hahahahahahahaha I agree tho

RawrNom 0

aha, bacon was my easiest to give up. I struggled with kfc baha! and OP, it's true, bacon is gross haha!

joee182 3

you cant be vegetarian if you still eat bacon-.- and so what if the poster hates bacon you whiny girls.

tylersign 11

Was* hard to give up. Kthxbai.

121- he doesn't have to use the word "was" since he is saying that bacon IS good, and that it IS hard to I've up. Kthxbaiii.

And Fuck.... Auto corrected me. Give* not I've.

I'm a vegetarian, and I agree 100%... sometimes I have to FORCE myself not to eat the corn dogs in the freezer. And it's painful.

170- 121 was correcting him/herself. Meaning 5 and 121 are the same people..

179; Corn dogs aren't made out of bacon.

skyttlz 32

They make vegetarian versions of meat. I love vegan bacon.

punkin_26 16

246- imagine if they were to put bacon in there though. Bacon wrapped corn dogs. What's not to love about that?

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

IKR?!? Bacon is like the best thing ever!!

eddie25 2

Thatd what im thinking

gabrielbaby 9

I hate bacon. Not everyone likes something.

Come on, it's just a little castle of bacon, I would've at least had it plastinated to preserve such fine work. A+ for effort!

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
kiakia0131 23

Vegans, vegetarians, and cultures that frown upon eating pork.

That's because their against eating meat/pork, not because it isn't DELICIOUS!

Shadow_Phantom 26

People like me who prefer to eat healthy...

@Sammiches: That's not entirely true. I know many vegetarians who choose that lifestyle solely because they don't like the taste of meat.

gabrielbaby 9

I do and I'm not vegan or vegetarian or some weird religion. I just don't like it

I'm sure there are actually a lot of people who don't like bacon...I enjoy it once in a while but I always try to get the leanest form of it because normal bacon is way too greasy and makes me feel ill after I eat it. Either way, OP is clearly ungrateful for their friends efforts to make them something original for their birthday. While it's something they don't really like they could at least be thankful to their caring friends.

103, I'm right there beside you. I don't like it either. To me, it's mostly fat. My idea of something that tastes good isn't having a mouth full of crispy greasy fried fat. I don't know why some people seem shocked. You don't have everybody else's taste buds. If you love bacon, be happy to know you can have mine. Enjoy!(:

116- makes me I'll too but I'll still eat a plate of it anytime! Yes, a whole plate.

116- how is op ungrateful it's their birthday, and they got a castle made out of something they hate. Seems that op's friends should know that op hates bacon. That is some very inconsiderate friends.

166, my friends don't know I hate bacon. It's not something I/many go around telling people unless they ask. Clearly, the friends assumed, just like many on this FML, who could possibly hate bacon? The friends tried to do something nice for the OP and I wasn't under the impression that the OP didn't thank the friends for the effort. He/she is just disappointed that it's not what he/she wanted as their cake. It's no one faults.

Nates_Mommy 4

I personally don't like bacon because it is mostly nasty fat, and it is bad for you. I don't like to think about my arteries hardening every time I eat breakfast.

206- Yes, and it sucks. If you fry it according to the directions, it gets as hard as cardboard and tastes like crap.

tweetbaby14 18

268, you not eating something won't get others to jump on the wagon with you... If there is no real rhyme or reason, no one really cares. Unless bacon contained bits of people, I doubt too many people would stop eating it. Not to say I don't care about how the animals get treated before they get turned into food, but well actually, I kind of don't...

ironik69 31

Enslaved, try it softer. I can't stand the crispy bacon, but will eat all I want if it's on the floppy side. LOL. Just a thought.

I think a castle made out of bacon seems like more work than baking a simple cake, so at least your friends care about you? Unless they purposely did it. On a side note...you hate bacon????

Princessx3Jamie 0

this is stupid thats not really an FML lol! if you want a cake that bad go buy one and dont eat your bacon cake.. mmm yummm

jumble 12

Bacon is overrated. It's alright, but honestly I wouldn't want that either. Should have just said "Alright guys, let's dig in!" And let them eat the majority of it. Obviously if they got you that, they were only thinking of what they wish they could have instead of what you could have.

You said it all. Next time OP, play it smart if you haven't already. I personally am not too fond of bacon either

Or they were thinking it's lame to ask someone exactly what they want for their birthday but still wanted to do something different. Not everyone is as self centered as the people you apparently know.

jumble 12

I wasn't saying they're self centered. But think about it. Assuming everyone likes a certain food is kind of thoughtless. And I'm sure his friends would have wanted it too if they spent the time making it. So if the OP said he would share it and let them have the most, he wouldn't have to say "sorry guys, but you know I seriously hate bacon right?.." Which would just be rude to say about something that probably had a lot of time put into it. Even if his friends wanted to be different, it would be nice to at least ask what someone liked instead of just assuming. It isn't hard to say "What food do you like the most?" you know.

punkin_26 16

I'm sure they were just as suprised as us to find out OP doesn't like bacon.

Yeah, you're right. As a way to make the best out of a bad situation, it's a damn good idea... I retract my previous comment.

jumble 12

I would have still appreciated the idea as a whole. Just because one part wasn't liked doesn't mean the OP couldn't have been proud of the friends' work. I would have taken a picture of it at least as a memory of how hard working his friends are just for a gift.

cptmorgan6 8

I don't know jumble.. By your thought process, everyone should ask everyone else what they like before they get them something. Seems kinda boring to me.

jumble 12

Well, regarding food at least. Since you never know if someone doesn't eat something strictly because they don't like it or they're allergic or other reasons, it would be considerate to ask.

could be worse...OP could be jewish

You'd think that as ops friends they might know a lil bit about op hating bacon and wouldn't need to ask to realize what an dumb thing to give for a birthday a castle of bacon is. I love bacon, but I'd be pissed if somebody gave me a castle of bacon, rather than a cake.