Anonymous · 27 November 2023, 10:00

With friends like these…

Today, after I moved in with my best friend a year ago, living with her and her boyfriend for over 3 months, I couldn’t handle them fighting so I moved out 9 months later. She cheated on her boyfriend with a coworker and is now moving in with me, so, "We can live like wild teenagers." We’re both 30 and I’m not single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549 You deserved it 223

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Dumbass

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007 You deserved it 256

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Klo · 12 November 2023, 16:00

Uncomfortable encounter

Today, I was set to meet my friends at a new, trendy café. I arrived early, eager to impress, but ended up walking into the wrong café and got stuck for an hour engaged in a disturbing conversation about serial killers with a total stranger who'd deludedly mistaken me for a long-lost friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 307

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Anonymous · 10 November 2023, 10:00 ·Dallas, United States

Strapped for cash

Today, my now ex-best friend decided to sell his house. This wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't asked me to live in it and look after it, which I've been doing for two years while he's abroad, and is the result of his loud-mouthed, obese mother leading him around by the nose, and forcing both of us to pay her bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227 You deserved it 430

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NotBridezilla · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Klamath Falls, United States

Bridezilla

Today, after waiting 3 months until my friend's wedding was done being celebrated, I announced my engagement. My newlywed friend bitched me out for "stealing" all of the attention and being selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 471 You deserved it 901

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Wasted Man · 2 November 2023, 15:00

Nice guy #655

Today, I realized I wasted my high school and some college years buying the girl I love flowers, gifts, dinners, concert tickets, etc. I was there through her ups and downs. The thanks I get? “But we’re just best friends, silly!” and dating these sorry ass guys who wouldn’t spit on her if she were on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208 You deserved it 942

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Introverted · 31 October 2023, 10:00

Introverts unite!

Today, I wanted to bust my introverted routine and posted on social media an invite to see a play. Two friends responded. I took the first up on the offer but she backed out later. When I tried to get tickets for the day the second friend was going, they were sold out. I'm now going to the play by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482 You deserved it 109

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Anonymous · 30 October 2023, 22:00

Friends reunited

Today, I saw my middle school best friend and former girlfriend for the first time in two years. They were making out in our new high school’s library. Two years ago, he said she was a skank, and she said he was a creep, before never speaking to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415 You deserved it 79

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Anonymous · 29 October 2023, 20:00 ·Clinton, United States

Unsustainable

Today, I started to hate being the "mentally stable friend" because my friends will be talking about mental health and I've got to be the 'all smiles and positive' person who gives them hope in life, but the second I falter I can see everyone shift and I'm just not. Allowed. To. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491 You deserved it 151

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Anonymous · 26 October 2023, 22:00

The sociopaths amongst us

Today, my boss is such an unfeeling asshole that he seriously thought he could demand I only stay at my best friend's funeral for 45 minutes then return to work, because it was “just a friend, not a relative', and that when his mother died he "took a whole 2 hours off and was back at work by 11:45.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 610 You deserved it 95

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jane · 21 October 2023, 18:00

It was a different time…

Today, my boyfriend logged onto his old Skype account from 2012 to nostalgically look back at some old gaming chats. He started bawling when he came across his now-deceased online friend’s profile and reminisced about the good times. The whole chat consisted of the ‘N word’ sent back and forth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608 You deserved it 228

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Anonymous · 18 October 2023, 15:00

Full support

Today, my wife invited 45+ people to her baby shower, but literally 4 people came. Now I get to deal with my pregnant wife and her fluctuating hormones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781 You deserved it 217

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Anonymous · 18 October 2023, 10:00

Snitching quandary

Today, I caught my best and only friend snooping in my sister's underwear drawer. I don’t know if I should tell on him, or pretend it didn’t happen. What do I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 728 You deserved it 152

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Anonymous · 17 October 2023, 10:00 🌶️ Spicy

Never cross that line

Today, my lesbian best friend told me she might be bi and wanted to try sex with a guy she trusts, AKA me. She eventually convinced me, but after we'd had 'weird best friend sex' she decided she’s a lesbian after all, and I “took advantage of her temporary confusion,” so we’re not friends anymore. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022 You deserved it 157

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UGHHHH · 17 October 2023, 00:02

Alexa, play "Why Can't I Be You?" by The Cure

Today, my best friend and longtime crush actually said the words, “Why can’t I find a girl like you?” I told him, “I'm a girl like me, am I not enough?” He winced, hemmed and hawed at the answer, then quickly changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995 You deserved it 226

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Umm... OK? · 16 October 2023, 18:00

Weird assumption

Today, my best friend has blocked or ghosted me on everything. Why? She showed me her plan for getting her life back on track. I pointed out that her creepy, controlling boyfriend would never allow her to do any of it. Somehow, she took that to mean that I'm in love with her, and that I'm trying to break them up on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967 You deserved it 133

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Josh · 13 October 2023, 16:00 ·United States

Risky

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513 You deserved it 213

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Anonymous · 13 October 2023, 00:02 ·Laramie, United States

Health tip

Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889 You deserved it 129

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solo · 12 October 2023, 10:00 🌶️ Spicy

Girls' trip!

Today, I'm on a road trip with my girlfriends, and they're all telling each other stories about their sex lives. Me, as I'm a virgin, I'm writing this FML, bored to death due to not having anything to contribute to the conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559 You deserved it 188

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Love Stanks · 11 October 2023, 12:30

Thank you for being a friend

Today, the guy I like, who told me he “is trying to heal from his divorce,” just got a girlfriend. He calls her “the one that made me believe in love again.” I spent almost a year being a friend, supporting his every need, and hopelessly holding it down for him. Good to know I’m not good enough and never will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339 You deserved it 689

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Anonymous · 10 October 2023, 14:30

Pranked out

Today, I pranked my friend and started a fake fight. However, she opened up and admitted to doing a bunch of stuff. We've now stopped being friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159 You deserved it 1 146

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Whipped af · 5 October 2023, 01:30

Unreasonable

Today, my wife forced me to delete a female friend’s number off my phone because she’s jealous of our friendship. She then showed me a demonstration of what will happen if I contact her again, with a photo she got from her Facebook, gasoline, and a match to “make sure we understand each other.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 873 You deserved it 232

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Anonymous · 4 October 2023, 00:02 ·United States

You or the both of you?

Today, I celebrated my friend's 5-month sobriety milestone with her by getting absolutely wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129 You deserved it 1 268

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Lucky · 18 September 2023, 10:00

Bizarre love square

Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938 You deserved it 133

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Anonymous · 18 September 2023, 04:00

Royal flush

Today, I'm exhausted. My antidepressants ran out, making me overreact to everything. My friends dragged me into really childish drama, resulting in me ditching them. Then my work laptop broke on the most important day of my project. Then I got my first break from work in about a year… and woke up with COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779 You deserved it 165

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Anonymous · 16 September 2023, 08:00

Worried

Today, I texted a friend saying I urgently needed his help. He gushed back along the lines of, "Glad you reached out, everyone has noticed your terrible frame of mind, you’re a suicide risk." I meant help with a tricky Excel spreadsheet, but thanks for the support I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676 You deserved it 141

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fred · 12 September 2023, 07:30

Control freak

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that you can't see a guy you've hooked up with "like a brother." It's not even the first girlfriend I've had to explain this to. Block him or I block you and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473 You deserved it 765

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Anonymous · 11 September 2023, 05:41 ·Brisbane, Australia

Friends indeed

Today, my best friend of 18 years decided she'd rather continue sleeping with her brother-in-law/my ex fiance against her husband's wishes, than continue our friendship. All I asked is that she back away from him before she ruined her marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993 You deserved it 183

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Anonymous · 11 September 2023, 02:30

Message in a bottle

Today, after growing tired of my friends group leaving me behind every time and having secrets between them, I started to ignore them and stopped following them, without saying anything. They haven't spoken to me since, and it's been 7 months. I'm alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663 You deserved it 163

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NLM · 11 September 2023, 00:02 ·Belleville, Canada

Seeking companions

Today, I can't make friends. Every community event I go to, I'm the youngest person by decades, everyone I exchange contact info with in person never messages me back, and people I meet online ghost me before we get past "How are you?" I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just want friends. I'm so fucking lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720 You deserved it 132

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