All the FMLs

Brat

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 03:00

Today, my bratty stepdaughter ruins every picture possible by flipping off the camera. She either does it outright or slyly to the side. We recently paid hundreds of dollars for a professional family photoshoot and had to pay extra to Photoshop out her finger. He won’t discipline her at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 139

Dethroned short King

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 00:00

Today, I was on a first date. I asked her what she brought to the table since I’m a pretty well established guy. A voice in the booth behind me yelled out, “How bout a booster seat, Smurf!” Everyone laughed so hard I got up and left. I’m 5ft3 and bitches always make it about my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 950

Wakey wakey

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 20:00

Today, I was woken up by a bird screaming its guts out. My cat had somehow managed to catch a bird and bring it inside. My 9 a.m. morning began with trying to catch a bird in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 107

The itch from hell

By sprainedankle - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 904

You deserved it 15 849

Cough up

By Thilo Pieper - 24/10/2025 15:00

Today, I missed a free flight paid by the company I was supposed to work for, because I was sick. I was then told that I had to pay myself later. Should I have never gotten so sick that I had to miss that flight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 106

Give it back

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 12:00

Today, I was super excited to receive a large inheritance, maybe put it towards a house and a vacation. To my horror, the entire 40k went to my child support arrears. My psycho ex is the one who wanted those three kids, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 1 271

I wonder…

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was talking with my Grandma, who lives on the opposite side of the state, and congratulated her on reaching 87. She said she was hoping to reach 90. My brain went in a very morbid direction as I quietly wondered if she'd live to 90. She didn't hear it but my dad, her son, did. Apologizing didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 395

I don't work here, M'am

By Olorin - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I was installing TVs in a hospital. When I knocked on a door, a female voice asked me to come in. I opened the door to see an 80 year old woman standing in front of me, naked. She then complained when I hesitated to help her to put some clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 740

You deserved it 2 787

Give me a ring

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 03:00

Today, I got home and my girlfriend was wearing the ring I bought last week. Apparently she found it and thought to herself, "Fuck it, we’re engaged now so I’ll just start wearing it", completely bypassing the actual proposal part of getting engaged. I’m actually really mad at her right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 129

Buzzkill

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 00:00

Today, while out to dinner with my boyfriend for his 5 year-old’s birthday, this 28 year-old man decided to humiliate me by singing Happy Birthday to his son at the top of his lungs in the middle of the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 979

Freeloader

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 22:00

Today, my boyfriend said he OD’d twice because of me, got sober because of me, and is done “trying.” I bought him a car yesterday and he hasn’t paid rent or bills in almost two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 500

Pile up

By Fitz - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134 581

You deserved it 6 254

Red tape

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 15:00

Today, I learned my application for resuming my citizenship in my home country (Australia) after being abroad for almost 12 years is being denied based on bureaucratic bullshit, and I'm going to be sent away to a country (USA), where I have no family or support, to be homeless and without the above. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 120

Tough luck

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 12:00

Today, as if it wasn’t bad enough my dumbass daughter would seduce and hookup with my boyfriends throughout her teenage years, she’s now ruined her own marriage by sleeping with married men, and wants to move back in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 191

Drilling time

By scared - 23/10/2025 09:00

Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 69

Richard

By dickface - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Lewisburg

Today, the cut on my face from getting hit with a baseball healed. It's left a dick-shaped scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 629

You deserved it 1 620

Why though?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 03:00

Today, my best friend of over 16 years is getting married. I was supposed to be her Maid of Honor. Instead I was uninvited a few weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 97

Confusing

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 00:00

Today, I messed up again. Every time I like a girl, something goes wrong, either because of me or my friend. She was supposed to hang out with us, but she brought a friend who’s my friend’s ex, and he wouldn’t go with her. I had to choose, and I chose my friend over an uncertain relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 229

In these times…

By Anonymous - 22/10/2025 22:00

Today, I found myself trying to use AI to edit the only photo I have of the man who was the love of my life. I'd like to look into his eyes again and remember that feeling again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 188

You played yourself

By Anonymous - 22/10/2025 20:00

Today, my girl likes to wear my boxers around the house but she was in a pair I’d not seen before. I asked her and she went all quiet and guilty looking. Dudes, I literally caught my girlfriend in another man’s drawers. It would be tragic but right now it’s just too funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 76

No thanks!

By forever alone - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - New York

Today, during the garter toss at a wedding, all the eligible men yelped and scrambled, evading it like a falling meteor. They apparently wanted to stay single, rather than put it on and dance with the one who caught the bouquet, which was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 014

You deserved it 518

Public spectacle

By Veronica - 22/10/2025 15:00

Today, I got locked in a restroom because the doorknob jammed. I had to text my coworker to come and rescue me. He brought half the office with him because, “It was too funny not to see.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 84

Brain fog

By Wilmot - 22/10/2025 12:00

Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a coffee. The cashier asked, “Hot or iced?” I panicked and said, “Yes.” We both just stared at each other until she said, “So… which one?” I wanted to drive away and never return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 335

Frisky

By Anonymous - 22/10/2025 09:00

Today, my mum and dad decided that now I’m 18 they’re not gonna sneak around in their own house anymore. So now, when they’re in the mood, they just run past me giggling, hands all over each other, upstairs, and I can hear them up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 191

Nightmare fuel

By TheHezzer - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered the hard way that all the scare stories I'd heard about rats getting into pipes and finding their way into your toilet are, in fact, true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 020

You deserved it 2 393

Oh, hai Mark

By David - 22/10/2025 03:00

Today, I was in the check out line at a store when I thought I recognized the guy behind me from high school. I turned and said, “Oh my God, Mark?” He said, “No.” To make it worse, my brain short-circuited and I said, “Are you sure?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 330

Goddamn Zoom

By Anonymous - 22/10/2025 00:00

Today, during a Zoom meeting, I thought my mic was muted. I sighed loudly and muttered, “I have no idea what this guy’s talking about.” The “guy” immediately stopped talking and said, “If you’re confused, I can repeat stuff.” Everyone stared in silence while I melted into my chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 582

CREEPY!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 22:00

Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 81

Spatial awareness

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 20:00

Today, I walked up to what appeared to be an automatic door. I stood for a second, waved my arms, but nothing happened. Then a guy came from behind me, pushed a clearly visible button under a clearly visible sign that read "Push to open." He said, “It’s OK, happens to everyone.” It doesn’t feel like it does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 304

Lingering

By Evjoel - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Bermuda - Hamilton

Today, whilst making a cake for my kids, I accidentally got some cocoa powder in my nose. Now it feels like my nose is burning stronger than the fires of hell. On the bright side, everything smells like chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 941

You deserved it 1 171

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I traveled to my hometown for a funeral. I'm staying with my family in the house I grew up in. My dad told me they'd "completely renovated" the house. There's still only one bathroom for the seven of us and I'm sleeping on the floor for the entire two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 174

You deserved it 427

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 307

You deserved it 3 263

Today, after crying after remembering how horribly wrong it went, 10 years ago, with the only person I was ever able to trust enough to let them get close to me, and how no amount of therapy seems to help me, I read an FML about how nobody wants to date a 30 year-old who has never dated. I'm 29 and might as well give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 259

Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 328

You deserved it 66 729

Today, I told my mom that I’m pregnant. My husband and I live in a cottage on her land, and her actual words were, “Well you better abort it, because you’re not having any baby in my cottage. The piss, shit, and sick will ruin the resale value.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 196

Today, I turned 25. I'm single, still living at home and doing an unpaid internship in an industry I have no interest in, because it was the only accepted application after 6 months of unemployment. The daily 45-minute drive means I'm losing money every week for being "employed" with a PhD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 465

You deserved it 3 050