Anonymous · 3 July 2026, 03:00 ·Portland, United States

Bastards!

Today, I found out that my passport expired two days ago, two days before my first vacation abroad. I only found out when the airline employee scanned it at check-in, looked at me with sympathy, and said, "I don't think you're going anywhere today." My friends are currently posting beach photos while I'm filling out passport renewal forms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 You deserved it 691

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Anonymous · 3 July 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Your funny uncle

Today, I joined the wrong funeral procession, because I thought everyone gathering outside was there for my uncle, so I followed them into the chapel and even hugged two strangers. I didn't realize my mistake until someone started talking about a man I'd never heard of. I had to quietly sneak out in the middle of the service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329 You deserved it 174

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Shredded · 2 July 2026, 20:00 ·United States

Be careful with that axe, Eugene

Today, I finally had enough to buy my dream guitar, made in 1965. I buckled it into the passenger seat because it unfortunately didn't come with the original case. Once home, I tripped over my own feet before reaching my front door and scratched it on the concrete. It wasn't in mint condition when I bought it, but now it looks like it had a bad relic job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323 You deserved it 156

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Atwater, United States

Shopper crash

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 601 You deserved it 2 305

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Anonymous · 2 July 2026, 15:00 ·Gary, United States

Happy health warning!

Today, I stayed up until 2 a.m. building my daughter's birthday present because I wanted everything to be perfect when she woke up. She opened the little oven door on the toy kitchen, and the whole thing collapsed onto the floor. I found an unopened bag of screws sitting on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127 You deserved it 474

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Anonymous · 2 July 2026, 12:00 ·Italy

Big beautiful family

Today, my parents decided that I, as 'lady', should give importance to things that matter that is be their Cinderella, their taxi, and the person who should honor the family, just because one of them can't handle her cheating husband, and the other is disappointed that all of his other children are either drug addicts or ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 74

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Anonymous · 2 July 2026, 09:00 ·Milwaukee, United States

You OK, mate?

Today, I went to my girlfriend's mom's horse barn. Then I stepped in horse poop. Also I am full of dust. Dusty boi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 You deserved it 136

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Anonymous · 2 July 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Mixed signals

Today, I worked up the courage to ask someone out after months of debating it. She smiled, said yes, and asked what time. I got so nervous that I gave her the time I start work instead of our reservation. We both showed up to completely different places and spent twenty minutes wondering why the other had ghosted us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242 You deserved it 318

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Fish and chips is life

Today, my husband had his hands full with the shopping, so I was carrying the baby and the bag with our takeaway in it. I tripped down the steps and fell over. Did my husband ask if I or the baby were OK? Nope. But he did ask if I’d squashed his fish and chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 118 You deserved it 349

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Brave boy · 2 July 2026, 03:00 ·United States

Pure cinema

Today, I took my grandmother shopping and insisted on carrying everything myself. Halfway across the parking lot, one bag ripped open and 6 oranges rolled in different directions. Watching 3 strangers chase fruit while my grandmother laughed harder than I've ever seen was somehow both wholesome and humiliating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304 You deserved it 103

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Anonymous · 2 July 2026, 00:00 ·United States

I tried

Today, after spending two hours baking cookies for my niece's school's fundraiser, I packed them into a container and drove to the school. When I got there, the teacher looked confused and said the fundraiser was next Saturday. By the time the actual date arrived, every cookie had been eaten by my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 You deserved it 309

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Anonymous · 1 July 2026, 22:00 ·Australia

In for the long haul

Today, I'd booked the cheapest seat on a long flight and ended up between a couple who spent the entire trip arguing through me instead of talking to each other, even after I offered to switch seats. By the end of the flight I probably knew more about their marriage than some of their relatives do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343 You deserved it 75

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FTheWorld · 1 July 2026, 20:00 ·Germany

Gloom and doom

Today, there's a huge heat wave, all because corporations were reckless and accelerated climate change. Now, more people are buying more air conditioners, further worsening the climate crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218 You deserved it 452

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shtzbutnogiggles · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·United States

Singalong

Today, I was at a concert and I was having so much fun. Unfortunately, this was cut short when the person behind me with the worst halitosis started singing along to the songs. He knew ALL the lyrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 448 You deserved it 1 083

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Anonymous · 1 July 2026, 15:00 ·Germany

Difficulty level: Impossible

Today, my husband wants me to have a career and earn well, but he also wants me to have a spotless home with two young children. So I need to drop and pick up kids, cook, clean, wash, mop, and fold, all while also doing my best demanding minimum 8-hour a day technical job. He doesn't understand why that's difficult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488 You deserved it 102

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Anonymous · 1 July 2026, 12:00 ·Cleveland, United States

Classic

Today, I walked a good 5 minutes across campus, through a few large hallways and up some stairs, with about foot of toilet paper hanging out of my pants before somebody pointed it out to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291 You deserved it 119

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Waste of money · 1 July 2026, 09:00 ·Virginia Beach, United States

Fixation

Today, I took my kid to Busch Gardens. All he said was, "Can we use the claw machines?" He wouldn't ride rides, watch shows, eat, or participate in anything besides begging to play the damn claw machines. I paid for the full day and dragged him out screaming after three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310 You deserved it 148

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notahero · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Brentwood, United States

Jump scare

Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 633 You deserved it 2 674

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Anonymous · 1 July 2026, 00:00 ·Cologne, Germany

Bomb!

Today, I jumped into a pool from seven meters high, landed on my ass, and got a free enema. My ass still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 449

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Dead · 30 June 2026, 22:00 ·Toronto, Canada

Poopy

Today, my girlfriend had an "accident" at home. She texted me about it. I tried to lightly tease her and sent a comment about her shitting her pants… to the family group chat by mistake. I'm currently writing my last will and testament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 You deserved it 578

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Anonymous · 30 June 2026, 20:00 ·United Kingdom

Ball and chain

Today, I got home and went to hug and kiss my wife. She actively dodged me and gave me a list of nine things she wanted fixed around the house while she was out with her sister. I’m writing this from a pub garden, surrounded by people who actually enjoy my company. Fuck her list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454 You deserved it 301

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Hey you

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 031 You deserved it 7 560

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Widowhumorwasamiss · 30 June 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Dark humor

Today, I went on my first date since my husband passed six years ago. My date’s ex-wife happened to be at the restaurant he picked, and he confessed he expected her to be there. Without missing a beat, I told him that’s a perk of dating a widow, never running into the ex. Evidently a bit too dark for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528 You deserved it 84

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Anonymous · 30 June 2026, 12:00 ·Corona, United States

Let me down gently

Today, you know how people say, “The worst thing she can say is ‘No’” when asking a girl out? I found out the hard way that that's a bold faced lie. I asked and she said, “Yeah, I’d rather use a freshly cut jalapeño as a tampon!” then burst into hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428 You deserved it 70

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El · 30 June 2026, 09:00 ·Selkirk, Canada

Raincheck?

Today, what was supposed to be an outdoor market on a busy street got moved to indoors somewhere super out of the way, where nobody goes to, over rain that didn't even happen. I regularly make $100+ at outdoor markets but between the shitty location and all the advertising being for the outdoor location, I made $11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337 You deserved it 70

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are these people even HUMAN? · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Bristol, United States

Tetchy

Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 402 You deserved it 3 838

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Anonymous · 30 June 2026, 03:00 ·Warren, United States

Ouch

Today, my physical therapist finally conceded and concluded that every pain that I've been having in my hips is nerve pain and that over the counter painkillers won't help with that. What will? Nothing that's over the counter, so I'm going to have to figure out ways to deal with this nerve pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327 You deserved it 62

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Anonymous · 30 June 2026, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Sniffles

Today, my wife got drunk and adopted a kitten. She thought I’d be mad because of the money. Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m mad because I have the most severe type of cat allergy that could kill me. I can’t go in the house now until everything is sterilised, so I’m back at my dad's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 72

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Yuk · 29 June 2026, 22:00 ·Toronto, Canada

Slam dunk

Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 You deserved it 1 235

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Anonymous · 29 June 2026, 20:00 ·United Kingdom

The truth

Today, I was asked to donate blood for our daughter but it turns out I’m Type O while she is AB, so there is no chance she's my daughter, and my wife cheated on me. So I asked for our other two kids' types. My son is AB so he’s not mine. Our other daughter is O, so she might be the only one that's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664 You deserved it 61

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