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Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35114) - you deserved it (6738)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML

#21317150
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (2387)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:50am - work - by wallamanut (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27992) - you deserved it (6811)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20412) - you deserved it (26086)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I wore what I thought was a hideous sweater from the thrift store for an ugly sweater contest. I've gotten more compliments on it than anything else I've ever worn. I can't even succeed at failure. FML

#21315542
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28473) - you deserved it (3229)

On 12/11/2014 at 11:10am - work - by anyoldnamewilldo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

#21315499
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13955) - you deserved it (34988)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:26am - work - by unlucky (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32411) - you deserved it (5315)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my boss commented on the fact that I don't usually wear makeup, then told me it would be much appreciated if I'd change that. FML

#21313609
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29195) - you deserved it (2943)

On 12/08/2014 at 4:17am - work - by sarahc_c (woman) -

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his god-damn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

#21312556
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29069) - you deserved it (8236)

On 12/06/2014 at 1:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my daughter decided it'd be funny to change the time on my clock. My boss didn't think it was funny. FML

#21312494
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (2461)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:10am - work - by graciegold95 - United States (California)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32768) - you deserved it (3029)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML



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