Today, my bitchy manager got back from vacation. To be nice, I asked her how it was. She said "not long enough". I mumbled "I agree". She definitely heard. FML.

Today, I had to get two teenagers to stop playing bumper cars with the electric scooters at the grocery store I work at. I'm seventeen, and they don't pay me enough for this. FML

by pat3212 / 08/11/2016 at 6:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, after work, I was saying goodbye to my last remaining friend I worked with because she was going to be leaving for college. My manager saw me talking and made me clock back in and work because "If you have time to talk, you have time to work." FML.

by skipperpop / 08/11/2016 at 6:24pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, it was my first day at my new job as a receptionist at a small doctor's office. When the doctor's wife called and asked if he'd stepped out, I forgot the word "Doctor" and instead replaced it with, "medicine man". FML

by professionalmedicineman / 08/11/2016 at 3:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my former boss is threatening to keep my last paycheck until I return a skateboard that a guest forgot at the hotel about a month ago. She was the one who gave me the order to put it in the trash. FML

by touristtraphotel / 08/11/2016 at 2:58pm / Puerto Rico / Work

Today, I got yelled at in my office. It's construction, and I'm the youngest woman. One of my male bosses yelled at me because grown-ass adults won't sign in the log. Either I get my ass kicked by construction guys over a sign-in sheet, or yelled at by my boss. I can't win. FML

by xAdtrx3x / 08/11/2016 at 2:16pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my manager where the clearly-foreign customers were from. She said she didn't know, but she thought they were from ISIS. She wasn't trying to be funny, she thought ISIS was a country. FML

by DexiCola / 08/11/2016 at 1:02pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work

Today, I woke up at 3:45 am, and got ready to leave my house before 5, since I needed to be at my new job for orientation at 6. When I got there, I realized they actually meant 6 pm. FML

by SeriouslyEvery / 08/11/2016 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

by Chef stupid / 08/11/2016 at 11:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I have been training a co-worker in a new position. After two months he still doesn't know how to do any of the work, and I'm stuck trying to do two jobs. FML

by Tatteredgirl / 08/11/2016 at 9:31am / United States (Indiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, two customers complained about the shitty service they received from my coworkers. I apologized and asked about the complaint. Their issues were legitimate and I promised to pass them on. They demanded to speak to my manager and my coworkers got in trouble. Now they think I'm a snitch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2016 at 8:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML

by FartMyLife / 08/11/2016 at 7:34am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had to abandon my normal duties and help out the electrician my boss called, all because my boss couldn't handle speaking to him since he was attractive. She's in her fifties. I'm in my twenties and I'm the more mature one. FML

by C8H18 / 08/10/2016 at 3:16pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.