Today, I gave a short presentation at a neighborhood watch event to raise awareness about pickpocketing and to give tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of it. After I got back home, I realized my wallet was missing from my pocket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from a train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I'd parked my bike, only to find that my bike had been stolen. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a soup kitchen and was advised to leave my wallet and cell phone in my car so they wouldn’t be stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole them. FML
Today, following the advice of not putting my wallet in my back pocket, I put my wallet in my jacket's chest pocket. I lost my jacket. FML
Today, I got a taxi home from work. Only having notes in my wallet, I told the taxi driver that I'd run inside my house and come back out with the change for the journey. He agreed, but only if I left my bag as collateral. It seemed fair. An hour later, I realized my wallet was missing. FML
Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
cruel, cruel irony, indeed....hopefully you were able to cancel your cards and didn't suffer too big a monetary loss.
Nyx_fml 23
Now you'll have to avoid giving them tips on how to avoid grand theft auto too. Even avoid giving tips on how to play GTA. You don't want to push your luck.
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Comments (31)
flashback.miss 28
cruel, cruel irony, indeed....hopefully you were able to cancel your cards and didn't suffer too big a monetary loss.
perdix 31
#1, I'm not familiar with that song. Is it some kind of Wimpy Hip-Hop Rap? I can't keep up with you kids!
LindsayxMoore 18
oh man that sucks. hope you got everything canceled and replaced before anyone could steal anything.
perdix 31
#22, is that the same song that #1 quoted? It seems it would be hard to dance to.
science-teacher 15
I don't get it
metalhead4740 14
Look at #1's username
LindsayxMoore 18
yea its a pretty catchy tune. one of my favorites.
Nyx_fml 23
Now you'll have to avoid giving them tips on how to avoid grand theft auto too. Even avoid giving tips on how to play GTA. You don't want to push your luck.
coried91 28
Am I the only one confused here?
Nyx_fml 23
If he gives tips on how to avoid getting a car stolen, then he'll get his own car stolen. Oh my, my jokes suck. I'll just blame it on my Carlos Mencia / Dane Cook hybrid costume.
Ambient25 25
I just blame it on beer
starile 20
#13, I think everyone got your jokes just fine. I was about to say #9 probably IS the only one confused around here.
rgri 11
Truthfully irony
PenguinBitch 44
Well, now you have a story to tell on your next meeting..that is, if people show up.
Everyday_Galaxy 14
While you were teaching about preventing pickpockets, someone else was teaching how to get away with it.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
that means your a hell of a instructor lol
olpally 33
Did James woods steal your wallet like in family guy? Lol. Better cancel all of your credit cards op.
sunnyray812 42
Irony tends to bite people on the ass.
LittleSushi_fml 13
So ironic men
psiloveyou15 12
That's the worst feeling ever. Sorry for your ironic misfortune, OP, I hope things work out for you.