Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I noticed a disgusting, cheesy smell and spent all day wondering what it was. I later found out that it wasn't coming from my feet, but from my belly button. My surgery wound got infected. I'm a germaphobe. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, I found out that I have a bacteria causing me to smell bad. For the last three years, strangers would say that I stink, I thought it was because I'm a smoker and they could smell cigarettes from my clothes, only to find out that people could smell my vagina through my pants. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that my severe body odor has no cure, no treatments, and is caused by… eating food. Not any specific food, just food. So either I can stop eating entirely, or I can smell like rotting fish in an outhouse. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a yeast infection. It’s been 3 hours since I’ve been home and my husband won’t stop referring to me as "cheddar puss". FML
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Top comments
cannonman1863 17
Uncertain on how to vote here, on one hand that sucks, but then again it is a job you trained for. Actually, I made up my mind. You became a health care provider by choice, and by obviously knowing it wasn't all going to be sunshine, rainbows, and unicorn farts.
imustbeinsane 2
Charge an extra fee per fold for the emotional trauma
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Comments (80)
sakana_fml 7
Don't make bread with it.
StoryOfTheYear 15
But it's her job, of course she's going to make money off of it.
sakana_fml 7
I hope their mom always said not to waste food, or they could be getting rid of a potential loaf of bread.
tanneriscool 2
I threw up in my mouth.. I regret reading this Fml, Fml..
FirstTigerHobbes 13
So that's what that smell was! Thought for sure someone was baking bread
dirtroadboy 7
It should be "I spent TONS of money..." just a heads up FML.
ubetrwatchBN 5
That is just repulsive, I can't believe it. *takes bite of sandwich*
TheGianaJinx 0
I shouldn't have read this whole strip of comments when I know I'm really sick.
shanemaximo 7
I can't believe it's not butter!
emyxii 4
That's repulsive.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
I just threw up a little in my mouth... That's unsanitary and just plain ******* disgusting.
abethehonest 4
and revoking
noncomposmentis 6
@27: You meant 'revolting'.
Marcella1016 32
I concur. One of the most disgusting FMLs I've ever read. I'm nauseous :(
j_cat187 20
People that big usually don't bathe enough. Sorry op.
girl112891 7
If only you could see my face after I read this. 8-[
JesMommy 11
No, most big people actually tend to have better hygiene habits than skinny people because they know they have to do more to try to prevent body odor.
AcidLacedBong 5
Quit complaining... You problem made $600 of that one visit... At least it wasn't an obese woman's nasty ****** *vomit*
AcidLacedBong 5
Probably*
chili10 18
Google "what is a yeast infection?"
Pentium_4 27
irony at its finest
ironyisforlosers 0
47- You rang?
DocBastard 40
Chili and Pentium4, I highly suggest you both go google "intertrigo" and then come back here and apologise to Acid for acting like know-it-all twits.
Pentium_4 27
sorry LSD :/
chili10 18
=[ sorry acid...
AcidLacedBong 5
I love you doc! Lol and to you others its all good ... No apology needed
takeitandrun 13
DocBastard really got people to apologize on FML/the internet? I'm honestly a little shocked. Only use those super powers of yours for good!
ElectricEffect 13
Yes, because some people think that if they treat him like a god, he'll be there bestest bestest friend and make them as popular as everyone on here seems to think he is. This isn't a popularity contest people and everyone has to right to be here. Quit worshipping DocBastard in hopes of a cookie. He's the same as anyone else here. This isn't a high school.
DLBL 23
Then why are you talking like a child?
THE_A_TEEN 28
You're just jealous because you're not a noticable commenter with people who love/hate you.
ElectricEffect 13
Yes, because what people over the internet think of me is the most important struggle I deal with on a daily basis. It just saddens me how pathetic people can be these days, looking for attention over the web from someone they'll never even meet. Someone who they know nothing about. I actually don't even have a problem with Doc himself other than his holier than thou attitude. A lot of his comments actually make me laugh. It's his "followers" who tick me off. You folks seriously need something better to do with your time then to blindly worship an internet figure. But, I've already wasted too much time on this, as people will be people. Enjoy.
AcidLacedBong 5
Electric you seem like an intelligent enough person... So even you have to admit that him or her ( never even heard of the doc till they commented ) getting people to apologize over the web is no small feat. With that being said I agree with you as well... People take this whole Internet stuff to serious, but sadly it's an electronic world now ... I don't see it getting better anytime soon.
DLBL 23
that's not how doctor salaries work.
FirstTigerHobbes 13
Hey, it's your job :3
sammyf89 13
The American dream job
mike3775 39
I agree, the OP wanted to do that for a career and thats part of the job. She may not like it, but sadly she has to put up with it. Healthcare fields are not glamorous at time.
DLBL 23
Right. treating sick people is not all rainbow and sunshine. Who knew.
imustbeinsane 2
Charge an extra fee per fold for the emotional trauma
CameleonNL 4
Its better to make donuts out of it
j_cat187 20
Donuts made from the yeast of a yeast infection. That's ******* evil.
sakana_fml 7
And delicious.
cannonman1863 17
Uncertain on how to vote here, on one hand that sucks, but then again it is a job you trained for. Actually, I made up my mind. You became a health care provider by choice, and by obviously knowing it wasn't all going to be sunshine, rainbows, and unicorn farts.
ironyisforlosers 0
Well, I dunno, there certainly is the potential for op to experience unicorn farts. I mean, they'll be unicorn fart's twice removed, ugly cousin- rhino farts, but they're still farts :/
sulitak 27
That's what I was thinking. My sister trained for this too. her first job is at a nursing home. guess what? she gets paid. And that patient paid you OP so get over yourself. You knew this shit was coming when you signed on for the job. Quit bitching and maybe start thinking of how it made that patient who is paying YOU feel. because in this case, SHE is your customer. suck it up
jalupe 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lol u got screwed OP im gonna be a EMT soon so all im gonna have to do is put a bandage on someone, or keep them in one piece as we go to the hospital, or just put a corpse in a bag so I wont have to deal with any of that disgusting stuff and i only payed 600$ for my course. Side not i actually dont mind gore so to me corpses and mutilated bodies dont really bother me :) strong fortitude FTW
bocshi83 1
maybe you will be bothered when your responding to a dead body of a child that was just thrown from a vehicle for not being restrained properly in their car seat..welcome to being an EMT.
palmergoesbig 0
Sorry but I would rather have the op's job over being an EMT anyday. EMTs see some horrible things not to mention they have the 2nd highest suicide rate out of any job.
xgetxbentx 13
The two above me are correct. I don't think you fully realize what you're getting into. People will probably puke on you, dead people often void their bowels, decomp smells and looks horrendous. Then the emotional part of having to see a person, possibly a child laying there either dead or close to it. I know a few EMTs all of them regularly go to therapy due to something they've had to witness.
rubberduckie94 13
As an emt you will also have to actually see much worse than docs and nurses at the er. Let alone a doctor in his office. You will have to bring them back to life, stabalize, and clean them up for the doctors so they will know what they are looking at. How can you be almost an emt and not realize this
DocBastard 40
Depends on the type of doctor you're talking about. The EMTs bundle patients up for me. I'm the one who then taken the patient to surgery to fix all the holes inside. Oh and Jalupe, you sound like an immature little dick. Get the **** over yourself.
eviannastorm 4
Dentist have the first lol
fymother 13
With that attitude, Jalupe is obviously on his way to replacing that EMT who was arrested for sexually assaulting a patient....
MuchDance90s 0
my uncle is a first responder and has PTSD. you have no idea what you're getting into. he has flashbacks of bodies and ppl he couldn't save. :-(
DrMaverickRanger 4
Jalupe has obviously done minimal training if he thinks that being an EMT is chilled, but I don't think a lot of the rest of you know what you are talking about either, regarding the work of an EMT being more stressed than that of a doctor, I think it depends on what kind of work you are doing and where you are doing it I work in small ERs in very poor communities in Cape Town, and most of my more hectic patients come off the street - often pushed in on wheelbarrows, bleeding from numerous sites, having been hit by cars, assaulted, or shot or stabbed, and either dead or close to it, I am thus the one who has to resuscitate them, not EMTs - I have seen a lot, and had to work through a lot (the worst was my 4 months of paediatrics, and having to resuscitate one HIV+ and grossly malnourished child after another, but ultimately losing the battle with most of them, and paediatric rape and abuse cases, and, paediatric trauma in general :(
BigSloppyMeowMix 9
**** you. You don't deserve the privilege of helping people who need help. You don't deserve to wipe an old dementia patient's ass. You don't deserve the great feeling you get when you help a patient. You don't deserve that bond. I hope you fall right out of that ******* ambulance.
ICATiger 13
She's not fat!! Just big boned.
BlueHue 0
Big boned + Big fat = FML
Ninja_assassinXD 8
Bones don't jiggle.......
StoryOfTheYear 15
I will never understand the profession of Doctor. They get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to someone to get everyone healthy, but at the same time if they did end up making everyone healthy they would be out of a job.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Victim of over-editing. :( Don't mind that "to someone".
ClassyCommando 13
Usually, they don't end up making every single person permanently healthy. I'm generalizing, of course.
StoryOfTheYear 15
I didn't say they did, that was my point. They don't make everyone permanently healthy, but that's what they get paid to attempt to do. Yet if they accomplished their goal they would be out a job.
imustbeinsane 2
They get paid to help people when ill, but theres always job security because illness will always be around and theres always the large portion of people that dont consider their health until it involves the emergency room
ClassyCommando 13
And don't forget the millions of people who don't even have access to a doctor.
StoryOfTheYear 15
._. ........ I clearly understand that there likely will never be a disease free Earth, but I'm just pointing out that the goal of a Doctor is a paradox.
Sillvy 3
I understand what you mean, 14. The same goes for really any service job. Law enforcement strive to end crime, but without it they have no job... firefighters stop fires, but without them they have no job... mods strive to keep out trolls and illiterates, but... etc. etc.
shazza26 1
BgPeople come and leave this world so there's always going to be someone needing treatment or a check up.
thiscrazything 1
And don't forget carpet cleaners. If they cleaned all the carpets, what would they do with their spare time?
murdersquirrel 15
Umm. If you understand that illness and injury will always exist, how do you not understand the goal of a doctor? How?
downtime 13
I don't think you understand what a paradox is...
murdersquirrel 15
Doctor /=/ paradox.
DLBL 23
Hospital docs I know have a listed income of 160-210 K. Also, there is a progressive tax system in the US. They do OK, but are not as rich as Beverly Hills docs who do cosmetic surgery.