hassi158

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35 years-old
Tuesday 19 February 1991
Single

About Hassi158

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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The Mixer

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200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

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I liked to the power of 20

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The list of badges to find

Hassi158's favorite FMLs

Hold still!

By toothache - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 835

You deserved it 3 387

By unemployed - 10/03/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155 961

You deserved it 7 488

By danesy - 10/03/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 294

You deserved it 3 799

By UH-OH - 15/03/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk-rock guy on a plane. I tried impressing him by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked on The Who and opened a large window with the album cover so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was faced with a giant picture of Miley Cyrus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 709

You deserved it 117 599

By chefdujour - 15/03/2009 04:56 - United States

Today, I spent 5 hours preparing dinner for my fianc''s grandparents, whom I've never met. At dinner, his grandmother says to him, "If you're going to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with, at least make sure she can cook." I'm the executive chef at a 4 star restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 127

You deserved it 5 732

By Alexa23 - 15/03/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 260

You deserved it 8 917

Run faster

By Noname - 15/03/2009 19:32 - United States

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 177

You deserved it 79 331

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 679

You deserved it 17 314

By Moanie - 15/03/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 402

You deserved it 29 532

By hala - 16/03/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 605

You deserved it 18 366

I guess not

By Nick - 16/03/2009 05:08 - Canada

Today, I was talking to this girl I have dinner with every week. She’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. She said, "The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating." My answer was, "Aren't we?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 839

You deserved it 15 832

Pervy

By textraped - 16/03/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 442

You deserved it 40 846

By WhatdyaDo - 16/03/2009 09:55 - Canada

Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 961

You deserved it 69 383

By asleepinclass - 16/03/2009 17:18 - Poland

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 119

You deserved it 40 233

By paymeinhugs - 17/03/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 569

You deserved it 6 360

By kaichennnxx - 17/03/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 290

You deserved it 31 969

Are you OK?

By dxplq876 - 17/03/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 981

You deserved it 4 681

By Noname - 17/03/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 251

You deserved it 62 658

By isaacBENNETT - 17/03/2009 07:25 - United States

Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 453

You deserved it 7 480

Noped outta there

By SmileEveryday - 17/03/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance, which is one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I was waiting in his driveway with balloons, I saw his car reverse and go in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 091

You deserved it 20 432