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Acead's favorite FMLs

By ThisBlows - 21/09/2011 17:20 - United States

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

agreeclassic 51 392

vote type 1 8 821

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 23:54 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

agreeclassic 42 035

vote type 1 26 663

By Twitchy - 14/09/2011 23:20 - Bahamas

Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML

agreeclassic 32 790

vote type 1 3 169

By Stuck - 08/09/2011 10:00 - United States

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

agreeclassic 9 340

vote type 1 67 847

Desperate for D

By sadsadperson - 07/09/2011 08:51 - Australia

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

agreeclassic 44 941

vote type 1 30 902