NViiNkD

Mrs

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Bronx, USA
35 years-old
Thursday 30 May 1991
In a relationship

About Nviinkd

I panic more than Chucky
My luck is worst than Squidward's
It's Gud to know I'm not the only 1 following Murphy's Law

Nviinkd - Followers

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Nviinkd's FML badges

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Back from the party

An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

The list of badges to find

Nviinkd's favorite FMLs

By Thebestman123 - 05/08/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 135

You deserved it 3 241

By f*ckingdisgusted - 27/08/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 716

You deserved it 56 895

A different kind of wind

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 378

You deserved it 4 950

KEEP IT DOWN

By 5.9Cummins - 11/09/2011 03:18 - Canada

Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 a.m. and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 350

You deserved it 3 429

By Anonymous - 16/10/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 911

You deserved it 5 300

By Mini-wanker - 18/10/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 589

You deserved it 8 878

By jessi - 02/12/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 186

You deserved it 6 679

Got talent?

By sorrygrandma - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 983

You deserved it 4 287

Downhill

By loveinanelevator - 13/02/2012 12:03

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 724

You deserved it 2 696

Pain like no one has ever seen before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 377

You deserved it 5 871

By anon - 10/06/2012 21:14 - United Kingdom - Romsey

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 376

You deserved it 5 122

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 520

You deserved it 30 157

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 25/06/2012 15:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 820

You deserved it 2 968

By FuckYou - 02/07/2012 06:07 - United States - Santa Maria

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 657

You deserved it 54 109

By justlittleoldme - 25/07/2012 21:05 - United States - Sarona

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 741

You deserved it 2 637

By Just_Me_88 - 18/08/2012 05:09 - United States - Salem

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 364

You deserved it 3 581

Just_Me_88 tells us more.

Just_Me_88 8

Sunday 19 August 2012 3:02

Well, I am OP, and I am indeed 23...I met my husband when I was 18....and his ex was 17. She "lied" to him about her age. I am amazed I have bought it for so long. Yup, he is certainly a soon-to-be ex. Right after he loses his jewels. (kidding...maybe, lol) My soon-to-be-ex just turned 36.