The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day

The top of the week

The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

What a time to be alive

By selfarrangedmarriage - 20/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, by far the most accessible way to make ANY romantic connections outside of a bar is to evaluate 400 complete strangers based on their personal resumes, then schedule to meet them under romantic expectations, AKA a dating app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 103

Mixed messenging

By Anonymous - 25/09/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was told off by my dad and stepmom for talking to the delivery person delivering my package. My stepmom's reason was understandable, because I was "slowing her down and she was on the clock", my dad's ridiculous reason was that I could get ripped off. This was AFTER I bought my products, not before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 83

Copy and paste

By Ad - 25/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I found out my ex friend is having her wedding at the same resort and same venue as me, and I had it secured 9 months before her. Now she’s trying to also use my priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 44

Disappearing act

By lost in the silence - 26/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I looked at house listings, found my parents' home, empty and repainted. I hope they're OK. No calls. I'd been gone for months, ill, weak, and struggling to recover. They knew this. They threw away life memories, my body of work, new clothing and supplies for when I got back on my feet, and more. Gutted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 71

Hey buddy

By Anonymous - 24/09/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment in a hurry and noticed my neighbor's cat sitting outside my door. I assumed he had escaped, so I spent 15 minutes trying to coax him back upstairs. My neighbor eventually opened her door and said, “He's waiting for me to leave.” Apparently, he does this every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 82

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 27/09/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we wanted to buy a bigger house just up the street from our current house so all three of our kids could have their own rooms, but we were outbid… by my mother in law, so now we’re stuck in our too small house even longer, and the evil old bitch is now close enough to visit us every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 47

Feed me

By hangry - 24/09/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after I packed my lunch last night and put it in the fridge, I grabbed my bag and left for work. At lunchtime, I opened it and found an empty container. I'd packed the container but left the food in the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 138

Body issues

By Dating sucks - 22/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, a guy I know asked me out after me losing 75lbs. I declined because I don’t want to be with someone who only wants me for my body. I asked him, “Where was this energy two years ago when I was 75lbs heavier?” He replied, “Can you blame me?” And people wonder why us women choose the bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 514

Mystery solved

By Anonymous - 25/09/2026 00:00 - Canada

Today, I took my laundry out of the washing machine and noticed one of my socks was missing. I checked the drum, the floor, and the laundry basket. I eventually found it inside the sleeve of the hoodie I'd been wearing while loading the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 114

Touch me I'm sick

By f u stomach flu - 20/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Poway

Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 245

Get a flip phone

By Katheryns - 23/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I sold my old iPhone 14… or at least I tried. I met the customer and she said, “Gee thanks!” and walked away with it. When I asked for the money, she said, “Suck my dick!” and took off running. I'm too out of shape to catch her and phoneless until I can come up with the remaining $200 to pay for my new iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 284

Connection is all around me…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, after I made a connection with someone I used to know from school, I came to find out the whole time we were “solely seeing” each other, he was banging the bartender, and some fellow bar patrons at the same time as the bartender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 77

Miserable grandad

By Anonymous - 26/09/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I once had high hopes for my children’s future, but in the last few years I’ve had to lower my standards for success from “college graduate” to “not a teen parent”. I have four kids, two of my sons and one daughter are teen parents. My remaining son is 17. Fingers crossed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 225

But… my teeth!

By Anonymous - 24/09/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I left work early because I had a dentist appointment. I got to the clinic, checked in, and sat down. Ten minutes later, the receptionist asked why I was there. My appointment is next Wednesday. I had taken the afternoon off for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 239

Safety first

By Anonymous - 22/09/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, on a whim, I tried the handle of the front door we never use and found it was unlocked. No one can remember the last time we used that door, and it opens directly onto the pavement, meaning for potentially years anyone could have strolled in at any time. Maybe they already have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 308

Tasty treat

By Yudith - 22/09/2026 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I caught one of my cats drinking my coffee again. Seems like I'll have to buy one of those mugs with a ceramic lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 207

Uber unfair

By Anonymous - 23/09/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, a guy who'd never used ride-share before asked for help at the airport. I thought we hadn't figured it out yet, so I canceled mine, which doubled my fare when I ordered it a minute later because we'd actually had figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 224

Better the devil you know

By Anonymous - 22/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Youngstown

Today, I'm currently in a relationship, but he acts like a child. My boss has been trying for over a year to get my attention, and I've ignored his advances this whole time, but now I think that I've caught feelings for him. I'm torn between a man child and my boss who makes me submissive. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 390

How could you miss that?

By Kyla - 25/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Brewer

Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 237

Out of control

By Anonymous - 22/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally stuck my thumb into my eye and scratched myself just under my eyebrow. I don't know why my hand was anywhere near my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 186

Suspicious mind

By Mental minefield - 21/09/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, after my husband read about mental load and about what he could do to help with mine, I came home to a clean house, the chores done, and dinner on the stove. I was more anxious and stressed than ever, thinking, "What did he fuck up that I'm gonna find and have to fix at the worst possible time?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 503

Forgetful

By missy - 26/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I stopped at a supermarket after work and put my reusable bags on the counter while I paid. When I got home, I realized I'd left the bags at the checkout. I went back, and they were still there. Nobody had touched them. I felt strangely lucky and embarrassed at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 176

Chunky lunch

By Anonymous - 25/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I took my lunch to work and put it in the office fridge. At noon, I opened the fridge and couldn't find it anywhere. I checked every shelf twice before realizing I'd put it in the freezer section by mistake. My sandwich was completely frozen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 215

Always write a list

By dumbass - 24/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket for three things and repeated them to myself the whole way there. I came home with everything except those three things. I did remember to buy a cake I hadn't planned on getting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 261

I've got a lot on my mind

By Anonymous - 26/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I heard my fiancé moaning in her sleep. She was very obviously aroused, so I woke her up to have a little fun. The sex was absolutely mind-blowing… until she said another man's name. We're supposed to get married in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 36

My brain

By Chelz - 26/09/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I spent a few seconds looking for my phone before realizing I'd been holding it the entire time. I laughed, put it down, and went back to what I was doing. Ten minutes later, I started looking for it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 180

Are you OK?

By LisaP - 25/09/2026 03:00 - Canada

Today, I went to pick up a prescription and the pharmacist asked for my date of birth. I gave it, then realized I had given her my dog's date of birth. I know it because it's written on his vaccination card. I had nothing else prepared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 266

Classic

By Ravina - 26/09/2026 20:00 - India - Chandigarh

Today, I waved at someone across the street because I was absolutely certain they were my friend. They waved back, so I walked over. We stood there awkwardly for about ten seconds before I realized I had never seen this person in my life. Apparently they had waved at the person standing behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 96

Where am I?

By Wasted - 24/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I got on the bus I take every morning and sat in my usual seat. After about ten minutes, I noticed that the route was different and I had no idea where we were. I had been staring at my phone and boarded the wrong number bus without noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 457

Reconsidering things…

By Jhacky - 20/09/2026 20:00 - Romania

Today, I went to visit my ex to tell him that we couldn't hang out anymore, since I'm becoming serious with a new guy. He picked me up, tossed me on his bed and had his way with me. It was amazing, so much better than with the new guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 262

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Vacation Awkward Food Gross Painful Television Health TV shows Money Work Bosses Public freakouts Cops Fight Pregnancy Kids My ex Love Confused Relatable Friends I need your advice Questions Smartphone Telephones Motherhood NSFW Sex Intimacy

The Top

Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 264

You deserved it 19 211

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was, "Nice weather?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 839

You deserved it 39 860

Random

Today, 2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend's parents still have no idea about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 296

You deserved it 4 618

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 696

You deserved it 48 737

Today, the unhealthiest person I know, weighing in at around 350 pounds told me she was now a vegan. I then told her the Cheese-Itz, as well as the leather boots she was wearing wasn't vegan. She said I was wrong. I'm a nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 962

You deserved it 712

Today, I almost got upgraded to business class because the gentleman at the check-in was so mortified at having called me "sir" instead of "mam." However, before it could go through, his colleague stopped him, telling me that it was "an easy mistake to make." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 265

You deserved it 657

Today, I'm seven weeks pregnant. For the first time in a week, I feel well enough to eat something that isn't Cheerios, a bagel, or crackers. I woke up two hours after going to bed with the shits. I'm almost convinced this kid hates me already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 257

You deserved it 283

Today, I wore press on nails and I work in a very professional setting where my hands are 24/7 visible to our clients. I've had multiple nails go flying off at various inappropriate times and my nail glue has been my BFF for 2 weeks. I had to go buy another nail glue bottle to make it through my second week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 611