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April fooled

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 09:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for cheating on him with his best friend… in a dream he had last night. I was upset at first, but then I remembered what day it is, and laughed at his silly "prank". He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 54

Neighborhood watch

By Anonymous - 12/04/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, we have a man prowling the neighborhood, soliciting donations to a fake charity, all while he is casing the neighborhood and asking us about our valuables. The cops refuse to do anything about it, except tell us we will probably get robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 76

Thanks for the self-confidence boost

By Tata - 14/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I’m six weeks post-partum. I bought lingerie for the occasion and surprised my husband. It was going well until I took off my corset. He visibly recoiled but kept going to be nice. He insisted we keep the lights off because he “had a headache and his eyes hurt.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 91

You're welcome!

By Anonymous - 16/04/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a homeless woman and a young man wrapped in a blanket so I went to give them a fiver. Turns out the woman was just helping calm her autistic son by wrapping him up, and not homeless at all. She kicked me in the balls and took the money anyway while I was on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 141

**** me, I guess

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I dropped out of college and moved back home to help my mom take care of my younger siblings after our father's death. My mom yelled at me and scolded me and lectured me for throwing my life away, and said this was the last thing she ever wanted me to do. I thought she needed help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 356

All dolled up

By Sheila - 26/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I ordered a designer jacket online. When it arrived, it was doll-sized. It turns out that I bought a limited edition meant for action figures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 489

Balanced

By Anna - 28/04/2025 09:00 - Australia

Today, I went to the grocery store in my brand new high heels. I tried to be graceful as I walked down the aisle but ended up slipping on some spilled juice and doing a weird half-dance, half-flailing thing. The shoppers around me turned to watch as I clumsily tried to regain my balance. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also knocked over a display of discounted snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 410

Lore dump

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I made the mistake of showing an interest as my boyfriend was playing the new Assassin's Creed. Now I like that he enjoys gaming, but I was not expecting to be given a crash course in Assassin's Creed lore and history all the way back to the first game. It lasted ages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 398

The Hobble

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, three days into my vacation, I ended up spraining not one, but BOTH of my ankles. Now my entire vacation will be spent healing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 91

Remember to update your stuff

By Billy - 10/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to log in to my bank account but couldn’t remember the password. I clicked "Forgot Password?" and it asked me for the security question: “What is your pet’s name?” I've had several pets since I created the account, and forgot where I had updated it. Now I’m locked out of my bank account, with no idea who I am anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 412

Messy

By Anonymous - 12/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I had orientation at T.J. Maxx when I got my period and it was heavier than normal. I bled all over my pants and got so much of it on the chair, I couldn’t hide it. The lady doing my orientation had to get a whole different chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 82

What are friends for?

By Anastasya - 14/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I asked my best male friend to help repair my car because it broke down. He responded, “Why don’t you ask the lovely guy you’re dating instead, since obviously he’s better than me?” Apparently he’s still upset I didn’t reciprocate his romantic feelings and chose someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 998

A bit of an overreaction

By lisa - 18/05/2025 03:00 - Netherlands

Today, I shouted at my husband for buying a video game, saying that money wasted on his dumb childish bullshit could be spent on a nice vacation or date night. He quietly packed a bag and left. I'm getting the locks changed. Good riddance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 1 907

Big swinger

By Anonymous - 23/05/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my penis isn't so small that I pee on my balls. It's so small that it fits between the toilet and toilet seat, causing me to pee all over the floor full stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 136

Never joke around with the Hacky Sacks

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my husband is refusing any kind of sex with me. Last week, as a prank, I slapped his ballsack during foreplay, not hard at all. Now he says he "can't trust me" near his junk, the big baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 773

Bon appétit

By Breakfast in the dark - 30/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, like many other days, I got up to make breakfast before dawn. Not wanting to waste food, I took apart a chicken that looked fine, cutting away some of the breast for a burrito, only to realize after I ate it and went to throw out the bony bits, it was completely moldy underneath. Penicillin, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 180

Some shade thrown

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 93

Boots on the ground

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 00:00 - Germany - Essen

Today, when I took off my shoes to change into my work boots, I smelled dog poop. I must have stepped in it on the way to my car this morning. Guess what the floor mat of my brand new car looks (and smells) like… FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 119

You're welcome

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 13:00 - United States - Lincoln

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he pulled up his pants and said, "There you go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 126

All you need is hate

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with a cute girl when I asked the barista, “Make mine just like hers.” It turns out she'd ordered a decaf soy lavender tea latte. I hate all of those words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 829

Weird flex but OK

By Chad - 10/06/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I confidently told my friends I had a high spice tolerance and took a shot of insanely hot ghost pepper sauce. I immediately hiccuped, tears started streaming down my cheeks, and I coughed so hard I fell off my chair and knocked stuff off of the table. We were in a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 803

Mystery box

By why - 11/06/2025 22:00 - Netherlands

Today, I cleaned out my filthy car. I found an odd, unlabeled tin under the seat, and opened it out of curiosity. It sprayed stinking juice everywhere and filled the house with a horrifying smell. It was Surströmming, half rotten fish, that someone must have stuck in as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 244

How did you not feel it?

By Anonymous - 15/06/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I wore new trousers to work. As I walked to my desk, I noticed a weird damp patch near my zip. Panicking, I thought I'd pissed myself. I rushed to the bathroom, then figured out that it was the condensation from my lunch container, which was in my bag that I had on my lap during the bus ride to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 137

Flirtatious mood

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I sent a guy an up-skirt shot, trying to be cute and flirty. He responded with a series of increasingly more mean emojis, including the laughing eyes, the green nausea face, and finally the poop emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 367

The plot thickens

By Anonymous - 20/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I did laundry and found one lone sock in the washer. Thinking I was done, I left it there and put the rest in the dryer. When I pulled out the clothes, the sock was missing. It was in the dryer all along, but I couldn’t find its partner anywhere. A sock black hole struck again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 108

Stalkers gonna stalk

By Clive - 22/06/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally liked a photo from 2013 while stalking an ex’s Instagram. Not only did she see it, but I also followed their entire family’s pages in a panicked attempt to cover up. It didn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 655

Groundwork for groundwork

By Anonymous - 25/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to have session 0 of an online tabletop RPG campaign. My laptop's screen decided it no longer wants to display anything. I've only had this laptop for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 76

Almost there

By Anonymous - 28/06/2025 04:00 - China - Hefei

Today, the National College Entrance Examination results were released. I only got 643 points. Far fewer than my expectation. Now I have to prepare for one more exam when I enter the college in September to try my luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 247

Don't follow your dreams, kids!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 20:00 - Belgium - Schelle

Today, after years of study and hard work, I fulfilled my long time dream of becoming a neurologist. Too bad it took me so long to figure out I absolutely hate working in a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 138

Awww, thanks sweetie

By Anonymous - 08/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I was in a grocery store when a little boy ran up out of nowhere, hugged my leg, then said, “Mommy!” I looked down and said, “Hey there, kiddo!” Right then, his actual mom walked up and gave me a look that seemed like it could set me on fire. The kid then looked up at me and said, “You’re prettier than my real mom.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 78

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The Top

Today, I called over my math teacher to ask a question. I have a really bad cold. I asked him about a problem and he reached over my desk to point at the diagram and explain it. Then I suddenly had to sneeze and I got tons of snot all over his hand and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 946

You deserved it 10 180

Today, one of my friends thought it would be funny to tell my psycho clinger of an ex that I still like her. It had only been a few months since she finally stopped stalking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 991

You deserved it 1 677

Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 822

You deserved it 22 678

Today, I noticed I was starting to get a double chin. I’ve only just gotten to a healthy weight after a serious battle with anorexia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 128

Today, I received a birthday card from my dad, over a week late. It was addressed to me using my maiden name, the enclosed check also made out to me using my maiden name. I've been married for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 261

You deserved it 1 559

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 300

You deserved it 3 498