The Top

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Flustered

By Bradley is alone - 09/11/2025 09:00

Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 552

Prank wars

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to scare my wife by walking round the corner on my way to the bathroom. Somehow this scared her so bad, she decided she’s done with my shit and wants a divorce. I just needed to pee. I never play pranks on her, so how can she tired of pranks. What did I do wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 113

My finest hour

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I finally conquered my fear of spiders by catching one in a cup and releasing it outside. Feeling proud of my bravery, I proudly showed my accomplishment to my roommate, only to realize it wasn't a spider but a piece of lint. I screamed louder than I would have for a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 208

Meat beating

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 09:00 - New Zealand

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 235

How not to raise them

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 14:00

Today, my son claimed credit for a money-saving scheme at work that belonged to a colleague. He claimed this to someone in very upper management, but when they tried to ask follow-up questions, he obviously had no idea how to answer, admitted his lie and was sacked on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 443

Slippery slope

By Anonymous - 09/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I got popcorn when getting groceries. I was excited to see popcorn butter spray on sale and decided to try it. Excited, I made some popcorn while I went to use the can. Butter sprayed like an aerosol can all over my desk and floor. Now, my apartment smells like a movie theater and there's butter EVERYWHERE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 418

Great start

By Harriett - 20/11/2025 15:00

Today, I made myself a perfect latte and sat down at my desk, feeling pretty good about my day so far. My cat then jumped on the desk, slipped, and kicked my mug directly into my keyboard. The cat looked me confused while coffee seeped into my laptop. It was only 9:02 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 115

Are you good?

By I tried - 23/11/2025 00:00

Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 268

Sensaround

By Stinkygirl - 27/11/2025 09:00

Today, our 16 year-old daughter is still staging a protest because we won’t let her scummy boyfriend move in with us. She’s decided to go on a “bathing strike” until we change our minds. It’s been over 30 days and our house smells like an NFL locker room took a shit in a bus station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 95

Time wasted

By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my new manager, who I have spent the last three months training, had a managers' meeting and now won't be returning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 67

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 00:00

Today, I got off my night shift late, slept for two hours, then went volunteering - playing piano in the atrium. I was sitting on no sleep so I started messing up a lot, then a patient started giving me death stares. I took my eyes off him, then looked at him again and he fell to the ground. Was the song that bad? FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 93

I was the bullet in the relationship

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 10:00

Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 370

Hydraulic failure

By Louis - 01/12/2025 22:00

Today, I joined a work call feeling confident, until my chair slowly sank mid-meeting. I tried to discreetly readjust, but the chair hissed and dropped me two inches every few seconds until only my eyes were visible above the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 67

Feral kitty

By HappyNewYear - 16/01/2023 06:00

Today, a cat ran into the house and got cornered in my room. Animal control wasn't answering so I did what I could to try to lure it out. It proceeded to chomp down on my finger. Way to start the New Year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 158

Counterproductive?

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 12:00

Today, I decided to be productive and clean behind my couch. I found dust, old receipts, and one sock I thought was stolen by the universe. When I stood up proudly, I smashed my head on the shelf above. I knocked down three picture frames. All shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 95

The sweet sighs of disappointment

By ThatGuyWhoRolled - 05/01/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I was up against two others in a 120m race on my school's sports day. Unexpectedly, I heard my name being chanted from most of the classes watching and well, this made me want to win so much that I leaned forward too much whilst running and ended up tripping and rolling on the track. I heard loud sighs after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 413

The tree of life

By Snowy - 23/05/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Wildervank

Today, I realized that I'm jealous of my newly-divorced roommate. She has so much freedom now because her daughter lives 50/50 with her ex. I'm trying so hard keeping my household, relationship, work, and kids happy, and I'm tired and overwhelmed all of the time, while she goes on vacation with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 427

Music sounds better with you

By Miranda - 06/12/2025 00:00

Today, my crush shared his listening age on Spotify Wrapped, as well as his top artists. We happen to have the same listening age and top artists. Yet he rejected me as a girlfriend because I’m “not his type.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 485

Are you? Are you really?

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 05:01

Today, a friend from our circle group told me that my behavior of responding to her stories with another related story of mine was annoying. I'm was sorry about that and decided to introspect and not show up in our group chat for a while. Then I realized I'm a toxic person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 520

Pissed

By Anonymous - 08/12/2011 12:40 - Australia

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 106

You deserved it 3 295

WAKEY WAKEY

By mindy - 11/12/2025 03:00

Today, I set my phone alarm to play a calm piano song so I’d wake up peacefully. Instead, Bluetooth connected to the speaker in my roommate’s room and blasted my alarm at full volume at 6 a.m. for both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 321

Trashy housemates

By Anonymous - 17/01/2023 04:00 - Australia

Today, I really upset my housemates when I opened my bedroom door to find them - and their friends - doing meth. At 2 a.m. on a Monday. I didn't even say anything, but it's drama and I just want to sleep. I start back at work in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 122

Raincheck?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2024 17:00 - United States - League City

Today, it's a day before my birthday and I will be turning 14. My grandma died 5 days ago and in Indian culture you aren’t supposed to celebrate for 16 days after a loved one dies. I have dietary restrictions too and can’t eat eggs because of her death, which means I basically can’t have any sweets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 196

Showtime!

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 09:00

Today, my daughter decided to make popcorn and for some reason she thought the bag of seeds was for one portion's worth, so she poured the whole damn bag into our popcorn maker and filled half the kitchen floor. It now smells like a cinema lobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 115

Spotted

By sara - 24/07/2020 23:01

Today, I discovered my first wrinkle at the same time as my millionth zit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 176

Pure class

By Lisandra - 16/12/2025 00:00

Today, I confronted my boyfriend about his infidelity. I saw him at the mall with another woman at Victoria's Secret, and I took pictures from a distance. When I asked him why he did it, he told me, "If you have $20 to your name and you see a $100 bill on the ground, you're gonna pick it up, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 94

Complimetary complications

By Freddy89 - 02/06/2024 06:00 - Australia

Today, I tried to compliment a colleague on her new hairstyle. I said, “You look different today!” She took it as an insult, thinking I meant she looked worse. She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 180

Great first impression

By Chilled - 17/12/2025 22:00

Today, I met my partner’s parents wearing my favorite hoodie to look casual-cool. As I stood to shake hands, the hem caught on a chair and ripped in a loud, dramatic seam that sounded like a trumpet. Silence, then his Mom said, “She's a character!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 118

Won't somebody think of the landlords?!

By Kevin - 04/06/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I had to text my landlord to tell him I’m gonna be short on rent. The guy who mugged me last night took the money I made from tips that was supposed to complete my rent. He replied, “Wow that’s wild. I don’t know how you’re gonna come up with the rest by 11:59 tonight, or you’re evicted in 30 days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 144

Gamer boy

By I married a child - 20/12/2025 03:00

Today, I watched my 35 year-old husband start up a new video game. He named his character "Boner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 332

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 782

You deserved it 15 768

Today, some thieves broke into my church and stole our cameras, monitors, and some other hardware. We were planning to use them for the security system we were about to install. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 153

You deserved it 6 179

Today, I went on an online date. I'd spent a while getting ready and making sure I looked good. When I arrived at the café, I saw my date and approached with a smile. He stood up, looked me over, and said, "Oh, I thought you were your profile picture’s friend." Then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 270

Today, my boyfriend met my mom and started acting strange. Then my dad came in and was instantly furious. Apparently, my boyfriend is the guy my mom cheated with that caused my parent's divorce. He’s 3 years younger than I am. Gross mom, just gross. Also I’m single again, damn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 155

You deserved it 220

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 893

You deserved it 5 529

Today, my mom told me how happy she is that I'm living with her. No wait, that was a month ago. Now she tells me it’s “bad timing” that I'm living with her while she potentially has a new boyfriend, because things like me demanding that people tidy up after themselves might upset him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 167