The Top

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Life comes at you fast

By Anonymous - 18/09/2025 15:00

Today, I’m 20, pregnant, and getting a divorce. I asked my soon to be ex why he even bothered marrying me in the first place. He said it’s because his parents “made him.” I can’t believe I’m going to be a pregnant divorcee before I’m even able to legally have my first drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 464

Time for plan A

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 22:00

Today, it’s my birthday. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in June and was not planning on having another kid. Took a Plan B pill after a rendezvous in August, but found out this AM that I’m pregnant. Guess the Plan B didn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 236

You're in the army now

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 12:00

Today, my officer took us on a night navigation exercise. Naturally, I and my fellow soldiers followed him. After many wrong turns, we climbed over barbed wire into a cow field. Our illustrious leader was startled by a cow, then became intimately entangled in the wire. As medic it was my duty to apply bandages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 103

Meaningful

By Just a guy - 21/03/2024 14:00 - Netherlands - Delfzijl

Today, I learned that the word "cancer" is so misused on social media platforms as a swear word, it's difficult to place a comment explaining that I have cancer without getting an automated response like, "Comment under moderation" or "Comment under review." FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 106

Hi there!

By Anonymous - 25/09/2025 20:00

Today, my neighbor waved at me while he mowing his lawn. Wanting to be friendly, I waved back. In doing so I tripped on the curb, fell onto my own trash can, and rolled halfway into the street. He didn’t stop mowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 134

Doofus

By Pete - 28/09/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 426

By atmac95 - 27/02/2010 21:28 - United States

Today, I am expected to write an 8 page essay, due tonight. The reason why I don't even have one page yet? My mom decided to take away the only computer I have the essay saved on because I have an 'F' in English. The essay is for English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 988

You deserved it 7 652

Mr Butterfingers

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I dropped my phone. I'd only just bought this new phone last night. It barely survived 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 486

Almost famous

By Not on tiktok, never will - 29/09/2025 22:00

Today, someone asked for my autograph at the mall. Flattered, I signed their notebook and even posed for a selfie. Later I found out they'd thought I was some weird nerdy guy from TikTok. I’m not on TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 380

OCD FML

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 06:01 - Germany

Today, my teeth feel dirty. Just go brush them, right? Actually, I just did. Thoroughly and meticulously, for several minutes, until both my arm and my gums hurt. Yep, still feel dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 241

Disreputable

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to train a new hire, grateful to finally have someone else here with me on my shift. He didn't show up. I found out later that his mother didn't want him working here because she thinks he's too smart for this job. I found him working at the McDonald's a few blocks away. We pay more than they do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 90

Cosplay

By Anonymous - 02/10/2025 15:00

Today, I wore a suit to my first day at a new job to make a good impression. When I arrived, I discovered it was a “casual dress” company where everyone wears hoodies and sneakers. My new nickname? “The Accountant.” I don’t even work in finance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 154

Controlling dickwad

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, while I was stuck in traffic, I got a nasty call from my boss, demanding to know why I hadn't set up a demo site for a client. I'd never gotten the request, and even if I had, I couldn't do it because I was in traffic. The exchange humiliated him on a conference call with the client, so he wrote me up out of spite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 112

Rushing waddle

By Newny_Newny_Newny - 05/10/2025 00:00

Today, I was taking a number two at work and forgot to lock the door. One of the nurses opened the door, but the worst part is that she didn’t close it back all the way and I couldn’t reach it to close it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 300

The trap

By I hate my life - 16/11/2022 00:00 - Indonesia

Today, I came into work late, tried to sneak in, but got caught by my supervisor. Usually I wake up at 7am, hit the road around 7.30, arrive at work before 8am. Today I woke up at 5am, thought that I could go back to sleep for 2 hours, I went back to bed. When I woke up, it was already 9am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 603

Rude

By Fugly fat slob - 07/10/2025 09:00

Today, a drive-thru customer ordered a deal that includes fries and a drink with the sandwich. When I gave it to her, she screamed at me because she "didn't order fries." When I brought up that the deal includes them, she told me I should have "figured it out," called me a "fugly fat slob," and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 66

Alexa, play "Totally wired" by The Fall

By Stillfkinawake - 23/11/2022 00:00

Today, at around 9:30 PM after a gym session and coaching a wrestling practice, I made myself a shake with some protein powder that my fiancée bought for me. Around midnight, I realized that I wasn’t very tired, so I looked at the box of protein powder. It contains 220 mg of caffeine per serving. I took a serving and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 409

Where is my mind?

By Holy fuck - 01/04/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a horrific nightmare where I was lost in the woods and got mauled to death by a hungry wolf. I fully blacked out in the dream before waking up in real life, at 3AM, where I found that my room was pitch black because I forgot to open the curtains. I genuinely thought I was dead for about five seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 149

Bad boy

By naughty boy - 09/10/2025 20:00

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 111

Booksmart

By Anonymous - 04/04/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my dad accused me of being illiterate when I used a word he'd never heard of, saying it sounded like lazy slang, and that it wasn't a real word. He then yelled at me for being a "smartass who's always right" when I read aloud the definition from his 1978 copy of Webster's dictionary. Guess he's not enthused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 106

You really shouldn't have

By BB_Skylar - 11/10/2025 20:00

Today, I found that my (well-meaning and very kind) Dad cleaned up under my bed after a little mold problem. The problem? He cleaned up a few empty THC gummy containers and saw my dildo. And I thought living at home at uni was a good idea… FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 375

Take it easy

By anon - 06/04/2024 16:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I haven’t relaxed since I was 12. If I was making good grades, doing extracurriculars, instead of allowing me to go out, my parents would accuse me of doing something bad and ground me. In college I burned out due to poor social development. Even though I have a job, I'm still a “bum.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 121

Hi there!

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 22:00

Today, as I was getting out of the shower, I heard my roommate shout, “Your food delivery’s here!” I panicked, wrapped myself in a towel and ran to grab it before the driver left. The towel slipped halfway down the hall. I froze mid-motion when I realized that the delivery driver was still standing at the door, making direct eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 342

Won't somebody think of the landlords?!

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I looked for an affordable home. I'm on SSI but only on a bare minimum (less than $950 a month), but I'm by myself so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. All the homes in my area are over $1k. When I tried to look for one with less beds and baths, they demanded I make an account before I could search further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 141

Not my best work

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 15:00

Today, I tried cooking dinner from scratch for my date. Everything was going great until I realised the “icing sugar” I'd sprinkled all over the dessert was actually flour. She took one bite, coughed, and said, “So you’re more of a Uber Eats kinda girlie?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 374

Social parasites

By Anonymous - 27/11/2022 04:00 - Australia

Today, I was rejected from the 25th rental I applied to in the last two months. I give up. Guess I'm stuck living with my mother forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 138

What does she have that I don't?

By cellie - 18/10/2025 15:00

Today, my ex is doing with his new girl all the things I begged him to do during our relationship. She gets Just Because flowers (he only got me flowers once and complained how expensive they were), trips (he told me he hated traveling), and apparently an engagement ring (he said he didn’t believe in marriage). FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 161

Don't do it

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 14:00 - United States - Coventry

Today, I finally caved and told a friend about my suicide note. She demanded that I promise I wouldn't follow through, but how could I when I was writing it no more than a few minutes before I joined a call with her? The funny thing is, most of that note was me trying to comfort my friends and family for when I'm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 246

Panic!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 12:00

Today, I tore through my apartment looking for my wallet. I was late for work, sweating, panicking, and blaming the cat. After 45 minutes, I found it. In the fridge. Next to the cheese. No explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 365

Buzzkill

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 00:00

Today, while out to dinner with my boyfriend for his 5 year-old’s birthday, this 28 year-old man decided to humiliate me by singing Happy Birthday to his son at the top of his lungs in the middle of the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 1 010

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The Top

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 910

You deserved it 4 967

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 045

You deserved it 2 491

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 147

You deserved it 62 935

Today, I became aroused when slight pressure was applied to my throat. I was having an ultrasound done to have my thyroid gland and a lump under my chin looked at by an old male doctor. My mom was present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 175

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from school. The secretary said that my husband had already picked her up two hours ago. I don't have a husband. He left while I was pregnant with her 6 years ago. The secretary said “no one told her” she had to check ID’s before releasing a child for early dismissal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 303

You deserved it 123

Today, like every day, my baby mama is bashing me on social media for not wanting to be involved with my kid's life. What she conveniently leaves out is she got my used rubber out of the trash to impregnate herself because she thought I would leave her soon. I already pay child support, so why can't she just leave me alone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 235