The Top

Oh, trust me...the teen wasn't the owner. He didn't even look at me after the car rolled away, he just jogged off. The car luckily jumped a curb down the road and was stopped by a tree. I did phone the sheriff's department, the deputy took my info and the description of the teen. Haven't heard anything else about it nor did I see the owner (luckily).

Keeping up with the Joneses

By Eva - 11/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I met my ex from the college, and he invited me to dinner. Back then, he was rude and a bit abusive, but I agreed anyway. The man I saw today is loving, caring and fun, with a good job, and I really liked his wife. On the other hand, I'm between jobs, and my relationship's turned into the utter bore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 200

Infrastructure

By Anonymous - 14/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was using a public toilet stall when the lock gave way, and the door swung open halfway. I froze, and the person who was washing his hands at the sinks looked at me in the mirror and awkwardly said, “I see you.” I muttered, “I’m sorry,” as he walked out looking like he'd seen a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 104

A few hours later…

By Xandler - 18/07/2025 05:57 - United States

Today, I had a date with a woman I had been talking to for a month. We hit it off, the date went fantastic, and we agreed to see each other again. Fast forward a few hours and I'm told she decided to pursue someone else, equates it to "bad timing", but wants to be friends. If not for bad luck, I'd have no luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 155

Xandler tells us more.

Xandler 8

Thursday 17 July 2025 17:44

OP here. First published FML! Woot! Backstory for anyone who cares. We met of PoF, we talked and got to know each other, like the FML said for about a month. The date was a spur of the moment thing as she said she was interested. So, we went out, we both had a fun time. I knew she was seeing someone else (they apparently had 2 dates), and I guess he asked her that night to be exclusive. As a little sidenote, by her admission she told me her relationships with men she has been with have been toxic. It's whatever now, I wished her the best and told her I'd be around if she needed to chat.

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 20:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 121

Let down

By Boring - 13/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I asked my friends what they thought was my biggest problem. All of them responded, "You're boring." I don't deny it, and I certainly did ask, but… Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 250

Thanks, I hate it

By Not funny mom! - 19/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I couldn’t figure out why I was getting so much spam in my professional email. My own mother thought it would be a hilarious “prank” to sign me up for a ton of random mailing lists. I missed an amazing job opportunity due to her bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 91

Worst roommate ever

By Anonymous - 08/10/2022 01:30

Tonday, I spent the night in my car because I didn’t want to go home as I just gave my roommate a 30-day eviction notice. My girlfriend is spending the night at a friend's, and I’m too cheap to get a hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 1 266

Not a good look

By Thesleepinggabriel - 21/07/2025 03:00 - Albania

Today, I was making out with this hot girl at a party. She was a bad kisser and I meant to say, "It's like you're 16 and don't know how to kiss" but it came out as, "It's like I'm kissing a 16 year-old." The room fell silent and she got off my lap with a disturbed look on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 799

Homestuck

By Anonymous - 21/01/2024 06:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I tried to book another train to go back to college for the spring after my first train was cancelled, only for it to be cancelled again, and there were no buses, nor did my parents want to drive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 95

Not even once

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 09:00 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I got addicted to online slots, racked up nearly €30,000 in debt, and completely ruined my financial future. It’s been almost a year since I stopped gambling, but the shame and the debt are still crushing me. I’m trying to get back on my feet and even created a fundraiser just to breathe a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 627

Alexa, play "Athlete Cured" by The Fall

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 12:00 - Germany

Today, and every winter day, my neighbor lets his car warm up in the driveway, even though it’s harmful to the engine as it doesn’t lubricate properly while running in neutral. It’s also illegal in my country. He still does it for up to half an hour every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 597

Pervs!

By Ew you freaks - 26/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking my daughter to the hotel pool, and she was excited so she ran ahead to the door to the stairs, I heard her scream so I went running. When I opened the door, a man was getting a blowjob from another man, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER! FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 101

Always the bridesmaid…

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 00:00 - Pakistan - Gujranwala

Today, my friend, on whom I have a crush since I can remember, read the most beautiful poem to me, which he'd written himself. After reading it, he said that it was for a girl he likes, and asked me if it was good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 143

Sounds delightful

By Why? Fucking nerd - 27/07/2025 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I stupidly let my friend, who is obsessed with wacky YouTube music channels, have access to a playlist for my party. We ended up listening to Simpsons quotes cut up and spliced into EDM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 374

Spice up your life!

By Anonymous - 26/01/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 127

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my parents still enjoy sex in their 60s, whereas my wife put an end to our sex life because she was tired of faking her orgasms. I had no idea she was faking, I thought our sex life was good, if she’d have told me I’d have done something about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 139

It was bound to happen

By NOT THE KITTY - 29/09/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, and for the past week, my grandma has been talking about her oldest cat not living much longer. This morning, my mom called, and I could instantly tell by the inflection of her voice what had happened. I immediately, correctly, assumed that he had died… and then I got yelled at for being "pessimistic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 123

Humblebrag?

By P…… - 01/02/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 479

Pay attention

By Anonymous - 04/08/2025 09:00 - France

Today, as I was waiting for an online appointment with my doctor, she joined the video chat right as I had my head turned to say to my cat, “Stop licking your butt, people are watching!” My doctor then made her presence known by jokingly saying, “I can only treat you, not your cat.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 152

Cute, but stressful

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 15:30

Today, I have been with my boyfriend for about 9 months. I still can't work up the courage to tell him I love him. I've been bursting to tell him for 4 months, but for some reason I can never seem to get the words out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 415

Beautiful sentiment

By emily geo - 03/02/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my daughter is twelve and doesn’t have a single friend, despite being kind and sweet. When I asked her why, she said, “All the other kids want me to die.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 107

Sleeping beauty

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was in a movie theater trying to stay awake during a boring film that my girlfriend really wanted to see. Next thing I know, I’m snoring loudly. My girlfriend sharply nudged me awake, and I realized the people in the row in front of me were giggling at me like I was a hibernating cartoon bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 436

What the…?

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 06:00

Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 138

Work/life balancing act

By Clean up slob ass - 08/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 264

Packed in

By Anonymous - 10/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was on a packed bus when my phone rang. I tried to answer, but my wired earbuds got tangled. I tugged too hard, yanking my phone out of my hand. It flew forward, smacked a man in the forehead, then bounced into a stranger’s coffee cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 354

Alas…

By bunnylover - 15/03/2010 16:44 - Canada

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 191

You deserved it 3 524

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Embarrassing Neighbours Poopoo peepee Relationship advice I need your advice Relatable Love Heartbreak Holidays Vacation Camping Mental health Annoying Miscellaneous Grandparents Music Scary Awkward Suspicious Work Insects Gross Facebook Instagram Social Media Ironic Healthy Lifestyle Fast food Money

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 756

You deserved it 36 394

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 222

You deserved it 12 614

Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 549

You deserved it 3 078

Today, for the third time this month, my family ridiculed me for being picky for ordering a burger without lettuce. They know I'm allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 197

Today, my Food Stamp application was denied because my income is apparently “too high”. I pay $1800 in rent and water, $130 for the phone and internet bill, $400 on credit cards, $150 for electricity, and $120 on car insurance. Nice to know they expect me to eat with $50/month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 615

Today, I started a home workout routine by following a YouTube video that promised "beginner-friendly" exercises. While attempting a lunge, I lost my balance, fell forward, and knocked over my TV. The TV fell onto my yoga mat, breaking both. Now I have no motivation and no TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 356