Your everyday life stories

Sounds like a cult

Anonymous - 04/02/2025 08:00 - United States - Duncan

Today, I realized that my 14 year-old runs my home. She has her own room, while her 11 year-old sister and I (her mother) share a room. I literally have to get her permission to go anywhere as well. FML

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Cat spooking season

Trisha - 25/08/2023 20:00 - United States - San Bernadino

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

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Rocks

Anonymous - 05/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I baked my boyfriend his favorite cookies for his birthday. Well, I tried. I followed the recipe, but they somehow turned out diamond hard. When he tried to bite into one, he chipped a tooth. Instead of being mad, he laughed and said, “At least you tried.” Now I’m stuck with inedible cookies and a dentist's bill. FML

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Good boy

Anonymous - 07/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, someone has been knocking at my back door all day then running away, driving me mad. Turns out, next door has a new dog and the knocking was actually the dog wagging its tail hard against their back door. This means it won’t ever stop, it’s going to keep banging that damn tail forever. FML

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Numb

Anonymous - 08/02/2025 18:00 - United States - Canton

Today, an accident, which ripped off skin off of one side of my penis (which healed fine) a year ago, now has a side effect. If I sit on a hard chair too long, that area gets numb to the point of being extremely uncomfortable and the only solution is to stand up and rub it until the numbness goes away. FML

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What the hell?

Mili - 27/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got to hear from my coworkers that my marriage to my partner won’t last long because I found and married him in tech school. FML

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Fresh start, sort of…

robbed - 02/09/2023 22:00

Today, my ex-girlfriend from high school has been at her new college for a week. She broke up with me because she wanted to meet new people and leave high school behind her. That was understandable… until my best friend showed me texts from her trying to arrange to hook up with him when she’s back. FML

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How did I get here?

Anonymous - 03/09/2023 20:00

Today, I auditioned for and got a part in a small independent film based on the Count of Monte Cristo. I knew ahead of time it was a low budget remake, but I was surprised to be warned there would be a few soft sex scenes. When I got there, it was blatantly a gay porn movie set in an old dungeon. FML

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Carry that weight

Sally - 16/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping on his back for a piggyback ride. He wasn’t expecting it. We both ended up on the floor, and I owe him a new pair of glasses. FML

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Keeper

Nappaflower02 - 20/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, six weeks post-partum, I asked my husband once again to help with the chores around the house. He got upset, threw my phone at me, and said, “Stop being inconsiderate, I just got home from work! Call your mom to help you or something! Shit!” and stormed out of the house. My mom passed last year; he knows this. FML

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Fight!

Anonymous - 28/03/2021 08:01

Today, I got a call from the county’s courthouse where I used to live saying I was being sued for fraud and expected in court to defend myself. Apparently, my ex took a loan out in my name and now I get to pay $2300 worth of legal fees and restitution to this loan company. FML

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That's not my… name!

Whatevs - 08/09/2023 10:00

Today, my best friend sent me a postcard. She’s been calling me by my nickname for so long that she wrote the wrong name on it. FML

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Anonymous - 25/04/2013 19:37 - United States - Norcross

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

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Seeking companions

NLM - 10/09/2023 18:02 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I can't make friends. Every community event I go to, I'm the youngest person by decades, everyone I exchange contact info with in person never messages me back, and people I meet online ghost me before we get past "How are you?" I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just want friends. I'm so fucking lonely. FML

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Mixed signals

Anonymous - 17/06/2022 11:59 - United States - Kennebunk

Today, I told my long-distance partner that I wanted to take them on a date to the aquarium next time they're in town. They said, "That would be my first date ever!" When I asked about when we went to the zoo and dinner last week, they said it was, "the closest thing to a date" they'd had. Apparently, we're actually just friends. FML

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One thing at a time

Anonymous - 01/03/2025 16:00 - United States

Today, I stuck my house key up my nose by accident. Why? I was taking them out to unlock the door and needed to straighten my glasses. FML

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This is all over the place

Anonymous - 17/09/2023 08:00

Today, it's been a troubled day. Me and my girlfriend got into it because she believes that I stepped out on her, which I didn’t. I haven’t had sex in over 15 years. I'd gotten an STI from a ex, and had no idea that I had anything, so now I’m "nasty" according to her. FML

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Hush!

Anonymous - 03/03/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a letter signed “anonymously” by at least 6 of my neighbours that unless I do something about my loud nightmares they’re going to start calling the police every time it happens. FML

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Mistaken identity

Anonymous - 15/06/2022 08:00 - United States

Today, I found out my sister's personal trainer thought I was a woman this whole time. Here I thought he was a gay man, with how aggressively he's been pursuing me. My sister never shed light on his mistake to anyone, because she thought it was funny. I just wish the truth came out before he decided to try to kiss me. FML

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Freudian slip

Anonymous - 01/06/2022 07:00 - United States - Mandan

Today, I’ve been looking for a new job for a while now, after being at my current job for 6 years. I was offered an interview for a job I was really excited about. I went to text my boyfriend about the job interview and ended up sending the text to my boss instead. I guess the cat's out of the bag. FML

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Giving up my exes for Lent

Infinimaster - 07/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I was having a great night, until I went to church for Ash Wednesday. I walked in the door and let the other ushers know I was there. All was going fine until I happened to glance over at the front doors of the church and see my ex walking in. My mood was shit for the rest of the night. FML

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Priorities

elly - 08/04/2021 14:00

Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML

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The language of love

Anonymous - 22/09/2023 14:00

Today, and for weeks, I’ve had a rash of tiny little scabs all across my stomach and boobs. I’ve spent way too much money on creams that didn’t help, only to realise that my new kitten, when he is asleep on me and kneading my shirt with his claws, he was giving me hundreds of tiny scratches. FML

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Are you even listening to me?

Alison - 13/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I spent 30 minutes talking to my friend about a new show I was watching, giving all sorts of spoilers. When I finally asked, “What do you think?” she stared blankly at me and said, “I’ve never seen that show. I thought you were talking about a different one.” FML

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Imposter syndrome?

Overworked - 15/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, after my boss thanked me for being so "reliable" all the time, I confessed to her that I have really bad anxiety, which has given me a crippling fear of disappointing her and ending up jobless. Even after reassuring me that she would never do that, the feeling is still there. I think I need therapy. FML

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Social anxiety sucks

m…… - 09/04/2021 21:30

Today, it’s the third anniversary of me not being able to finish a single sentence when speaking in person. FML

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White out

pussy - 29/09/2023 16:00

Today, I was told to "stop being such a little pussy." Why? Because my body chose to pass out from the heat. I didn’t complain even once, but I drank plenty of water and still passed out. FML

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Girl power!

Anonymous - 22/03/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was trying to break up with my boyfriend over text. I was being really careful to phrase it nicely, and I hit send with a sigh of relief. Except I sent the text to my mom, who now keeps sending me unsolicited advice about my "love life" with an occasional "You go, girl!" FML

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Drunken mess

SlutRobot6000 - 01/07/2022 04:00

Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML

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Vaguepost

Anonymous - 25/03/2025 07:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I’m about to lose my marbles. I can’t speak up because I need to keep the peace, but if I don’t it’s gonna enrage me to the point where I explode, so I’m essentially teetering on a wall with shit on one side and fire on the other. FML. Just FML. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, as I have lately, I’ve been feeling like my boss finds any excuse to be upset with me and tell me how I’m doing wrong, when most times it’s just so stupid there’s really no point in it. For reference, I work in long term care. I messaged her and she got upset with me because she saw my name pop up and overreacted. FML

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Today, my boss "entrusted" me with the company's biggest client because I was handpicked. Immediately when our solo call started, she asked, "Are you married?", I honestly responded, "I sure am!" She abruptly hung up and no longer responds to our calls. She spends here more than all our other clients put together. FML

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Today, my mother-in-law asked if she could move in with us. FML

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Today, I’ve been battling an aggressive form of cancer for the past 3 years. Due to the financial strain, I started a GoFundMe. I’m grateful for what I got, but a friend also started one for her dog’s surgery and got thousands of dollars. Guess the dog is more important than my kids having a mom. FML

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Today, while on a flight, I was walking back to my seat after going to the bathroom, when someone stuck their leg out, causing me to trip and fall flat on my face. All the guy could say was, "There's a thing called glasses. Fucking use them!" FML

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Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

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