The Top

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We need to see the video!

By Lightweight - 08/03/2021 20:02

Today, I found out that while some people make out with others when drunk, I apparently sing a weird mash up between "Bad Romance" and Terry Pratchett’s Hedgehog song. My friends recorded it and posted it on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 370

Outrage monger

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 20:00

Today, my sister blamed me for everything again. We're twins and have the same friends, but they all like her better because she's an extrovert and I'm an introvert, and I'm sick of her getting mad at me, copying me, blaming me and making my life miserable for no reason. Why does everyone think I'm so pathetic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 185

City boy

By Where? - 23/08/2023 08:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I went on a hike with friends, but as I'm the worst outdoorsperson because I rarely venture outside of the city, I ended up getting lost in some woods after straying from our group. I ended up having to call 911 to be rescued. My friends will absolutely not let me live this ordeal down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 868

Bartering

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 22:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my 8 year-old niece gave me back a Fluttershy plush I gifted her 4 years ago. When I told her it was a gift from the heart, she insisted on exchanging it for something of equal value. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 100

Routine maintenance

By xXCHCKXx - 25/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 150

Shut it down

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I went on a date with someone I met on a dating site. We hit it off, until he noticed the MAGA sticker on the back of my phone. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and never came back. I had to pay for both meals and explain to the waiter why I was practically crying into my bowl of noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 1 634

My life is a movie

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was late for work and sprinted to catch the elevator. I made it just in time, only to realize I was in the elevator alone and had just dramatically dived into it for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 325

Speed 3

By ihatewasps - 30/08/2023 20:00

Today, I was stuck on a bus for an hour with a wasp buzzing around. I have a severe phobia of wasps. I was crying by time I reached my destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 214

We still good?

By Anonymous - 11/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 120

Mo money, mo problems

By Anonymous - 17/02/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I felt things were getting serious enough with my boyfriend that it was only fair to tell him I have a lot of credit card debt from helping out my ill mom before she died. He broke up with me and called me a gold digger, even though I didn’t ask him for a single penny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 108

Is this legal?

By John Trent - 06/09/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Trowbridge

Today, at my grandad's funeral, as my dad and aunt poured his ashes into the hole, a strong gust of wind blew the ashes into my throat. I choked on my grandad. What made it worse was that the vicar had to stop her prayer to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 124

Recycled

By Anonymous - 20/02/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife told me to my face that I’m the reason climate change is killing babies. All I did was throw a snotty hankie in the bin instead of composting it to be used in her vegetable patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 106

Gender bending

By DaddyDoesn'tLoveMe - 17/05/2022 04:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at age thirty, my dad gave me the first compliment he's ever given me: "Remember to wash the pan out. Oh, and good job doing your chores and your mother's today." And everyone wonders why it took until last year for me to figure out I'm the same gender as this shitbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 403

This is going to suck

By Anonymous - 08/09/2023 00:02

Today, I unwillingly transferred to a private from a public school this year, due to my parent's rampant political beliefs. Some of the popular girls I went to school with in elementary school also attend this school. I smiled at one of them in the hallway when I saw them this morning. She saw me and rolled her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 162

Many such cases

By Betrayed - 10/09/2023 16:00

Today, my ex-boyfriend got married. Normally this wouldn’t bother me at all, had his bride not been the girl we constantly argued about all the time during our relationship. The one he “swore on his grandma’s grave he would never see that way.” Oh, and we broke up 7 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 139

What what, in the butt?

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 02:00

Today, our stupid pediatrician gave an anal suppository for our toddler's consistent tummy ache. She is NEVER constipated and passes stools regularly twice a day. Guess who had to hold down a 3-year-old and put in the medicine - which did not help with the tummy ache. I can't live with myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 382

Anyone could've waltzed in

By DTMM - 15/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 553

Gunk

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 15/09/2023 20:00 - Canada - Stittsville

Today, I discovered the filter and drain thingy on my front end loader washing machine. I've had the machine for 7 years. I should've worn a gas mask cleaning it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 337

Failson

By Anonymous - 17/09/2023 20:00

Today, I gave my son a job as a shelf stacker in one of my stores. He is in his thirties and is so dumb that he has been fired from every other job for incompetence. I don’t want him to starve or lose his flat, but I also couldn’t give him an important job in case he screwed it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 202

Get Back

By Bram - 24/06/2022 02:00

Today, marks my one hundredth pound loss. To celebrate, I put on my first backless dress I bought for this occasion. The dress fit great. Unfortunately, today also marks the realization that instead of inheriting my father's beautiful hazel eyes, the universe blessed me with his hard to get rid of back rolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 146

I don't!

By Anonymous - 20/09/2023 22:00

Today, I'm being forced to keep an eye on my cousin, who is getting married in the morning. He’s tried to marry his fiancé before and chickened out at the altar. For some reason she forgave him and now the bride's mother has made it my job to watch him like a hawk until after the "I Do-s", or else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 103

A lot to take in

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I'm hopping on a flight to Florida to pay my final respects to a friend. In December I had to attend the funeral of a friend's young daughter who just didn't wake up one day. In the following two weeks I lost a friend to a heart attack, a friend to suicide, and two friends to cancer. Tomorrow I attend my final funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 108

HOA blues

By Anonymous - 22/06/2022 02:00

Today, a neighbor chose today of all days to drop off her junk in front of my condo/apartment. My relative owns and I rent. I got a letter from a different neighbor, stating that if I continue this egregious behavior of using my apartment as a trash dumpster, she will be forced to report me to the HOA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 194

The war on cars strikes back

By xobrattybabexo - 23/09/2023 06:00 - United States - Comanche

Today, as I was talking to my hubs about replacing a tire on my car, said tire blew. I don't have a spare, and I don't get paid till tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 146

How awkward can you get?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was entertaining my date by suggesting a movie on Netflix. I confidently picked one that I thought was new and amazing. After the first 10 minutes, I realized it was a terrible sequel to a movie I'd completely forgotten about. I spent the rest of the movie in silence, pretending I was into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 522

Single and ready to Pringle

By Snanonymous - 04/06/2022 00:00

Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 461

Bounce off

By clumsy girl - 25/09/2023 12:30 - United States - Austin

Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 779

Shards

By Anonymous - 17/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, I was mowing my lawn when I lost control along our lawn borders and ran over one of my neighbor’s many garden gnomes. It exploded into a pile of ceramic. I soon discovered it was a limited edition collector's item when the neighbor came out just in time to see me turning her prized lawn decoration into shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 466

Disappointing

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 12:00

Today, I bumped into a former teacher, one who spent many many weeks helping me get into university so I could become a psychologist. I had to see the look of disappointment on her face when I told her I got pregnant freshman year, and became a stay at home mom with a part time job at Tesco’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 1 402

We'll just order out

By Lili - 22/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 280

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 414

You deserved it 1 060

Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 348

You deserved it 3 239

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 682

You deserved it 4 165

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 529

You deserved it 4 137

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120

You deserved it 462

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 156