The Top

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Time flies

By Jonathan - 24/01/2026 12:00

Today, I noticed my unopened box of Viagra passed its 'use by' date three months ago. My sex life ended in 2022. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 75

Rollercoaster

By Margaret - 04/09/2020 08:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, within the span of one day, the owner of the business I work at said I could write "Technical & Compliance Manager" on paperwork where I was the approver for engineered compliance of product regulatory records, but also that I was "basically just a secretary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 219

Control group

By Anonymous - 08/07/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss wanted us to fill out anonymous employee satisfaction surveys. The entire workforce, all 4 of us, just looked at him. How can a sample of only 4 surveys possibly be kept anonymous? He’d know who it was straight away from our handwriting. Man he must think we’re dumb… FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 98

Hot wheels

By Anne - 26/01/2026 03:00

Today, I went to a café that claimed to be fully accessible, as I use a mobility aid. The ramp was technically there but so steep, I needed help. Three strangers helped push me up while I apologized, laughed nervously, and tipped coffee onto myself at the top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 84

Leeches

By Get out and don't come back - 29/01/2026 12:00

Today, my daughter furiously ranted on her social media that I kicked her out for dating a black man. Wrong. I kicked her out for getting pregnant with an unemployed lowlife who had the balls to ask if he could move into our house so he wouldn't have to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 90

What happened?

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 12:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, the boy I have been talking to for six months unadded me out of the blue, even though he had been acting completely normal hours prior to unadding me. I put so much time and effort into what we had, just for it to be thrown away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 184

Loner

By Anonymous - 31/01/2026 15:00

Today, I broke it off with all of my friends with benefits. Why? Because I have grown attached to a fictional character, and I like him a lot more than any IRL person. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 567

By jodafish - 08/11/2011 05:45 - Canada

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I couldn't tell her where the vitamins were in the pharmacy. The manager came and yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. I work in the store across the street from the pharmacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 623

You deserved it 2 701

Healthy lifestyle influencer

By Anonymous - 23/02/2023 22:00 - Canada

Today, I went to the gym and got locked in the locker room. I had to call the gym's phone number to get them to come let me out, after being in there for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 156

It's Joever

By Anonymous - 15/07/2024 14:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I had an extremely embarrassing moment when I tried to pay my restaurant bill. First, I tried swiping my card, only for it not to work. After the cashier suggested I insert my chip card, I tried putting it on the bottom, only for it not to be there. I finished by putting the card in the proper place upside-down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 174

Kinda hot

By SadGf - 05/02/2026 20:00

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 151

Slow down

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 09:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I woke up late for work. In my rush to make a quick cup of coffee, I forgot to put a mug under the machine. I came back a few minutes later to a kitchen counter flooded with coffee and had to clean it up, making me even later. To top it off, I was out of coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 425

Let's get it on

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 03:00

Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 99

Energy saving

By I can't win - 20/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my parents had me pet-sitting their cats again, since they were going to be gone all day. I noticed their oven was on and wanted to turn it off, but when I do they always yell at me because they "had plans for dinner." This time however, they yelled at me for NOT turning it off, because they'd already ate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 111

It's just a vibe thing

By Cuckolded by tech - 08/02/2026 22:00

Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 137

Forever Alone

By West of the day - 22/09/2020 05:01

Today, I've been feeling horny a lot lately, so I downloaded Tinder and subscribed to Tinder Gold. The only matches I've had are with bots and people saying "subscribe to my Instagram for premium content." FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 428

Bad trip

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 15:00

Today, after I flew 16 hours across the world to see my girlfriend, on the fifth day of the holiday we broke up because she ended up telling me she "can't do distance." After all those hours of flying, we spent the last 3 days in the hotel room mostly crying, and I asked her face to face, "Why did you break me?" She left; I'm broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 104

He's the boss

By Anonymous - 01/03/2023 00:00

Today, I lost my earbuds on the subway to work, so I had to listen to my boss's terrible music all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 227

That was quick

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 22:00

Today, my ex started dating the girl he kept telling me not to worry about. We broke up three hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 68

Stress level: 2020

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 02:02 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, after pushing myself really hard all week to find a new job, I was looking forward to having a nice relaxing weekend with my family. Nope, I got a migraine and can barely function, but also can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 90

Life in vain

By Composureless - 07/03/2023 18:00

Today, I'm writing an eulogy for my younger brother who shot himself… and realizing that neither of us has ever done shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 136

Ride the bike, dude

By trevorj - 17/02/2026 03:00

Today, a customer bought a bike. He paid for it and asked us to escort both him and the bike to a bus stop, about a 20-minute walk away. He had no car and said he couldn't bring the bike to the stop because it was "too heavy." When we said we're not allowed to abandon post, he cussed us out and called our manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 54

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 13:16 - United States

Today, I spent two hours driving all over town looking for a store that sold pumpkins. When I finally found some, I was charged ten dollars per pumpkin. Later, I went to my town's annual Halloween festival and discovered they were giving pumpkins away for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 112

You deserved it 9 166

Bitch

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 22:00

Today, I didn’t get to have Valentine's sex because the dog we just rescued is so attached to my husband that she tries to bite me every time I go near him. I seriously don’t think I’ve touched my husband once in over a week, and I’ve been bitten twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 80

Secret life

By Anonymous - 20/02/2026 22:00

Today, I found out my ex has been using AI to fake a whole relationship with me. He’s been sending pics to his family abroad about our supposed lives together, including a wedding, vacations, and even children. I only found out after one of his cousins messaged me wanting to visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 66

Thanks, Walt

By Anonymous - 01/08/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom - Kirkcaldy

Today, it turned out that letting my daughter watch '101 Dalmatians' backfired; our dog gave birth to two gorgeous pups but she can't stop crying and asking where 'the rest of them' went. Apparently she's been telling her friends all week that she'd soon have 15 puppies to play with, and now will never be happy again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 153

Slow down

By any future girls must take an IQ test - 22/02/2026 20:00

Today, my brain-dead now-ex-fiancee "read on the internet" that cops can't give you a ticket at home, so when a cop tried to pull her for speeding on the way home from work, she sped up and rushed home. What would have been a $200 fine is now serious charges and jail time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 76

Smelly Finger Nights

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 02:02 - United States - Carmichael

Today, I learned that not only do I have bacterial vaginosis, but I ALSO have gonorrhea from a hookup. The only symptoms I'm having? Anal itching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 1 188

Some things last a long time

By Jay - 02/08/2024 20:00 - United States - Strykersville

Today, my mom decided to clean out my freezer. She freaked out over a box of unbelievably expensive King crab legs that expired over five years ago. My PTSD kicked in and I explained that I got them for a special occasion three days before my girlfriend was diagnosed with lung cancer. I never got that special occasion. I hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 144

Evel Knievel tribute act

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 15:00

Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 859

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The Top

Today, my sister gave me a early Christmas present. It's lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 567

You deserved it 530

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 801

You deserved it 7 155

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 998

You deserved it 112 608

Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 060

You deserved it 341

It just disappears!

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 86

Today, I got yelled at for 10 minutes by my head of department for failing one of my students for plagiarism, because, "we can't be sure." It was my work he plagiarised, but because it's not in our system, it doesn't count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 93