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Dark humor

By Widowhumorwasamiss - 30/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on my first date since my husband passed six years ago. My date’s ex-wife happened to be at the restaurant he picked, and he confessed he expected her to be there. Without missing a beat, I told him that’s a perk of dating a widow, never running into the ex. Evidently a bit too dark for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 84

Step brothers

By Anonymous - 07/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my stepson hit my biological son with a belt. When I demanded to know why, it turned out that my son destroyed his (stepson's) laptop while raging over his stupid video game. My husband is completely mortified and I have no idea who to be more mad at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 117

Planning required

By Anonymous - 21/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I feel like I’m never going to have satisfying sex again. We have so many kids that I never get a moment’s peace. By the time they’re all taken care of and sleeping, I’m too exhausted to even think about sex. If I do, it’s a “let’s get it out of the way” type quickie to shut my husband up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 314

Sleep the clock around

By Anonymous - 08/08/2026 15:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I decided to sleep in since I didn't really have anything I had to do. I was woken up at 10:30AM thanks to a spam telemarketer. I turned my phone off and went back to sleep, hoping to wake up around noon. I woke up at 1:30PM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 324

Internalized

By Anonymous - 21/08/2026 00:00 - Brazil - Joinville

Today, I was called a "transphobic bigot" at work because I told my coworker, a trans woman, that her clothing and behaviour were disrespectful and inadequate for the workplace. I'm also a trans woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 155

Rattle and hum

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I took my car to a garage because the dashboard had started making a strange clicking sound. The mechanic listened for 30 seconds, opened the glove compartment, and pulled out a pen rolling around inside it. I'd spent €90 on a diagnostic appointment to discover my stationery was causing the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 378

Great first date

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my date asked how many kids and baby daddies I had. When I responded neither because I'm not like that, he didn't believe me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 64

Party trick

By Anonymous - 11/10/2025 09:00

Today, I went to my cousin’s wedding and started tearing up during the vows. I reached into my purse for a tissue but accidentally pulled out a tampon, which flew across the aisle and landed right between the bride and groom. It's probably going to make it into the wedding video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 291

Hi Chris!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 12:00

Today, my coworkers surprised me with a birthday cake. It was really sweet, until I realized it was for another “Chris” who works in accounting. They only noticed after I blew out the candles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 75

Sensaround

By Stinkygirl - 27/11/2025 09:00

Today, our 16 year-old daughter is still staging a protest because we won’t let her scummy boyfriend move in with us. She’s decided to go on a “bathing strike” until we change our minds. It’s been over 30 days and our house smells like an NFL locker room took a shit in a bus station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 96

Alpha top dog

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was meeting my daughter's boyfriend and I joked I’d have to show him who was boss around here (my wife, without a doubt) but as a 5”8 man I have no idea how to intimidate a 6”11, 20 year-old who looks like he was born in a gym. My wife won’t stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 469

Flash meeting

By Anon office worker - 03/01/2026 15:00

Today, I tried to discreetly check my reflection using my phone screen during a meeting. Instead, I opened my front camera and took a selfie with the flash on. Everyone looked. I smiled like it was intentional. It was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 424

The first step is the hardest

By Jeff just jeff - 12/01/2026 12:00

Today, I went to the gym after months of procrastinating. I walked straight into the glass wall next to the entrance instead of the door. A guy lifting near the front desk winced in sympathy. I still worked out, but I could see my face slowly swelling in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 140

King of pain

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 22:00

Today, I somehow strained a muscle around my ribs that make any movement or pressure almost unbearable. In other words, breathing is just about possible, farting is excruciating, and I’m praying I get diarrhea, otherwise there's no possible way I’m going to be able to shit without passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 59

Treat yourself with kindness

By Anonymous - 26/01/2026 16:41

Today, I got so sad and depressed looking at my old pictures. I had such bad body dysmorphia from all the mean, nasty, hateful things my horrid family used to bully me for that I never realized I was actually pretty. Now thanks to an autoimmune disease my body will never look nor feel the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 39

Hate the game, not the player

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 09:00

Today, I really liked this girl, and it seemed like she maybe liked me too. We texted a lot, she invited me to a party, and we played games together. I asked her out, worried about waiting too long, but got a really ambiguous answer. Now she’s playing the same games she used to ask me to play, just with a different guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 84

Gamers will know

By Its painfully bad - 15/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife got bored and went into my collection of old PC games. She started playing Mass Effect and commented that she loved it and wanted to play all three. I don't know how to tell her that it ends worse than Game of Thrones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 91

Fuse ignited

By Anonymous - 16/02/2026 22:00

Today, I got sick of my mother-in-law telling me everything I do brings shame to the family, so I meanly asked if her other son spending three months in prison was shameful or if he was already forgiven. It turned out that he told her he'd spent three months touring Brazil. Cue massive family screaming match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 83

Did it taste good at least?

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 03:00

Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 658

Real estate from hell

By pukey mcgee - 25/02/2026 22:00

Today, I learned why I got such a great deal on my apartment. It's located next to the trash chute. It smells utterly foul three days of the week, and it's the dead of winter now. I dread the summer heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 69

I have had it with these mf snakes on this mf plane! Everybody strap in!

By Who's your daddy, snake girl? - 08/03/2026 15:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 83

Drive on

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 09:00

Today, as a breakdown technician, I was sent to a woman whose jeep wouldn’t start. The tank was empty, and when I told her she got pissy, then calmed down and asked where to buy spare tires because her jeep didn’t have one. I actually had to show her the tire in the round storage case on the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 64

Lookalike

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 12:00

Today, I finally got with the hot guy from work. We were laying in bed, smiling at each other afterwards, when his eyes traveled down my body and he blurts out, "THAT'S who you look like! Have you ever seen Moana? Yeah, you look JUST like THAT MAUI GUY! WOW!" I'm a woman. A 5ft4 woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 119

Baby Jane

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 12:00

Today, the boss accidentally merged her personal calendar with the office calendar, so along with a 10 a.m. waxing appointment and on the 19th it's "Mom's birthday", I got to see "Friday 3rd April fire Jane." I’m Jane. (Not my real name obviously, but you know what I mean). FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 74

What in the world…?

By May - 17/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I noticed I was overcharged at a fast food place, so I asked the cashier to correct it. He got an attitude, so I asked for the manager. The next thing I know, some dude shoved me, yelling, "Shut the fuck up Karen." I fell and hit my head. People in line laughed and cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 120

Quite the list

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 20:00 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, I have scoliosis, neck compensation, TMJ osteoarthritis, a small brain lesion, unilateral hearing loss in left ear, malocclusion dentally/skeletally, pelvic issues, knee issues, gait/feet/leg issues, asymmetric looks and aesthetic issues, and struggling with hobbies/entertainment because of hearing issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 75

i'm late

By Fluster time - 22/04/2026 09:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I work remotely and had an online meeting with clients in different time zones. I double-checked the time… or so I thought. I joined 30 minutes late, rushed in apologizing, only to realise I had actually logged into the wrong meeting entirely and interrupted another team’s presentation. My actual meeting had already ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 479

Big Tony

By lordoftheweird - 06/05/2026 15:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today, my grandmother is upset I won't lie to the police for her and is now claiming that I'm involved in the Mafia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 62

Dang!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband allowed his 16-year-old daughter to get married. Every single objection and concern I had, they ignored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 83

Congratulations, you played yourself

By Danny - 22/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized the only person who’s ever loved me was an old friend. She was an amazing girl, she was there for me at my highs and lows, but I didn’t find her attractive, so I turned her down. She has since then moved on and gotten married, while I’m still getting played left and right by women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 632

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The Top

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 197

You deserved it 130 833

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 044

You deserved it 3 991

Random

Today, as I turned to face the cashier at the supermarket, I managed to knock over an entire display of gift cards with my backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 241

You deserved it 4 159

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 898

You deserved it 71 488

Today, I told my family about my dreams to get a modern car and house with my girlfriend, since I'm tired of fixing my '90s car and paying for my dad's rent and doing all his housework. They then told me I'm selfish for trying to leave them and that I don't care about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 106

Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 207

Today, I started a new workout routine to get fit. After watching a bunch of online videos, I thought I could jump right in. I overdid it on squats and now can’t sit down without grunting like a wounded animal. I’m now having to climb stairs on all fours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 502

Today, at nearly 9 months pregnant, I came home to find the nursery that had been set up was now completely stripped of everything. My husband was angry at me for not forgiving him for getting another woman pregnant at the same time, so he took everything from the room and gave it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 95