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Not so Secret Santa

By Tim - 22/12/2025 09:00

Today I volunteered to organize the office Secret Santa. I carefully tracked names, budgets and preferences. On gift day, I realized I’d emailed the spreadsheet to everyone. People now know who hates mugs, who regifted last year, and who wrote “Anything but candles.” Our Christmas spirit died pretty darned quick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 475

Beep beep

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 22:00

Today, I took my partner’s car to fill with gas because mine was in the shop. Out of habit, I put diesel into the tank. We discovered it three hours later; the tow bill ate my weekly budget, the mechanic sighed through the repair estimate, and I spent the evening on hold with roadside help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 493

Bye bye loser

By abandoned af - 03/01/2026 20:00

Today, my husband announced he was leaving me for a girl he met at work because she “has a hotter body” and “looks better in bed during sex.” I gave birth to his kid earlier this year. I said I was gonna bleed him dry on child support and alimony, and he said, “So? I can afford it. I make 6 figures a year.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 88

Old boy

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 20:00

Today, I visited my girlfriend’s family in Louisiana and her grandmother told her Pawpaw was still alive. Was it a neighbor or relative. Nope, a 60 year-old 12-foot alligator in the river behind their house. He actually came like a dog when she whistled. Scared the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 80

Chilling

By Anonymous - 25/01/2026 03:00

Today, it was freezing in the office, so I brought in a small space heater and plugged it in under my desk. Moments later, the power went out on the entire floor of the office. I quickly unplugged the heater and stuck it in a drawer. Now I just have to somehow sneak it out of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 167

Rough patch

By Anonymous - 26/01/2026 20:00

Today, my husband won’t have sex with me anymore because he can’t be bothered. That’s been his excuse for almost three weeks, but he insists there’s nothing wrong, he just doesn’t want to. For reference, we had sex almost every day before this, so this is very abnormal behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 80

No boundaries

By Anonymous - 30/01/2026 09:00

Today, my parents and in-laws let my 4 year-old watch as much TV as he wants. Not cartoons but brain-rot and weird stuff on YouTube. Let him skip naps. Feed him primarily junk food, and sweets. They don't respect his 8 pm bedtime and let him play until 12 am or later. Then they wonder why I don't visit more often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 81

Freaks like me

By Porn addiction is real - 06/02/2026 12:00

Today, I finally decided I was sick of watching porn all the damn time and deleted the messaging apps I use for it. Now I've realized how attached I'd gotten to the freaks on there. I'm painfully sad and lonely now and I can't recover the accounts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 279

Ride the bike, dude

By trevorj - 17/02/2026 03:00

Today, a customer bought a bike. He paid for it and asked us to escort both him and the bike to a bus stop, about a 20-minute walk away. He had no car and said he couldn't bring the bike to the stop because it was "too heavy." When we said we're not allowed to abandon post, he cussed us out and called our manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 54

Bitch

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 22:00

Today, I didn’t get to have Valentine's sex because the dog we just rescued is so attached to my husband that she tries to bite me every time I go near him. I seriously don’t think I’ve touched my husband once in over a week, and I’ve been bitten twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 76

Occupational hasard

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 12:00

Today, while at work as a digital personal shopper at Walmart I was done picking, so I went to go put the cart away. I ended up hitting a coworker because she was crouched down cleaning something. I felt so bad and now I’m scared I’m going to get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 78

Hard pass

By Uhhh no - 12/03/2026 12:00

Today, my husband drunkenly confessed that he has a shit fetish and wants to watch me take a dump in the bathtub while he jerks off. Guess him saying he "didn't like kinky things" was a lie, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 79

Grit your teeth

By Anonymous - 16/03/2026 00:00

Today, it's my son's wedding. I really don't want to go because he's marrying his former stepsister, whose father is my ex-husband. We went through an extremely nasty and bitter divorce and I absolutely want nothing to do with him, but I don't have a choice because I have to be there for my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 111

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 20:00

Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 116

Dress code

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 03:00

Today, I attended my half-sister's wedding but no one had told me the venue was a converted barn with temporary outdoor gazebos on the fields of a working farm, so while everyone else, including the bride, attended in jeans and wellies, I rocked up in three inch heels, and yes I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 129

How do you eat a hamburger?

By Always my fault - 28/03/2026 12:00

Today, my son won't go to his team dinner because the other kids made fun of him for "eating like a monkey." My wife says this is my fault. Funny, when I tried to teach him not to eat with his fingers, she got mad and ranted that "people ALL OVER THE WORLD eat with their fingers, it's normal, stop criticizing him!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 95

The good son

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 20:00

Today, my husband and I sat our 8 year-old son down and gently explained to him that I had a miscarriage and he won't be having a little brother or sister after all. He responded by dancing around the room and celebrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 107

Small pleasures mean a lot

By Chocolate Croissant - 13/04/2026 20:00 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I think I had a mini orgasm when the baker told me that the chocolate croissant I'd just chosen was still warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 125

Dynasty

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 02:00 - United States

Today, my grandparents are demanding that I come live with them because my stepmom is pregnant. They're convinced that she and my dad are going to throw me aside once the baby is born, even though I know that's not going to happen. They're even making threats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 60

Season 3 claims another victim

By Bless - 24/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, I was watching Euphoria’s new season and my mom barged in without knocking to ask me something. At that precise moment, a very explicit sex scene came on. She threw a bitch fit, tore up my prom ticket and told me that I ever lose my virginity while living under her roof, she’ll kick me out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 88

Priorities

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I called off my wedding because I found out he was cheating, but my daughter is more upset that she spent $400 on a bridesmaid's gown and now can't get a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 117

Support local businesses

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 14:00 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, I found out that my favorite coffee place, which I’ve been meaning to go back to for months, completely shut down. It was one of the only good things about my city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 197

Buyers' market

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 09:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I'm a 34 year-old single woman on the dating apps. A guy suggested we try a swing dance lesson as our first date. I said yes. We had a good time both of us and we exchanged numbers. Later I got a text from him saying he had a connection with another match, but we should remain friends for another dance "date". Dude is 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 105

Pressure point

By Anonymous - 06/05/2026 16:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I found out that my hip pain was sciatica nerve pain. I found this out when I started getting pins and needles up and down my right leg and foot. Why all the pain is concentrated in my right butt cheek and side though is beyond me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 82

Cashier 4U

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, at a busy register, I greeted a customer, started scanning items, and only halfway through realized they were on their phone with earbuds in and had not actually been talking to me. I got flustered, scanned the same item twice, and had to call over a manager while the line behind them got longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 124

For science!

By Science101 - 19/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my nephew asked me to help build his science fair volcano. I got too invested in making it realistic and used way too much baking soda and vinegar. The eruption shot across the kitchen, hit the ceiling, and dripped red food coloring down the walls while my sister stared at me in annoyed shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 344

Time waster

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife reported our neighbor for leaving her son home alone while she works during the day. Her son is 13 years-old. I am so completely embarrassed and my wife keeps justifying what she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 81

Like father, like son

By I'm dad - 26/05/2026 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, after making fun of my dad for years because he falls asleep in front of the TV every night by 9:30, I sat down “just for a minute” after work and woke up at 2 a.m. fully dressed, lights on, with Netflix asking if I was still watching, and a half-eaten wrap stuck to my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 432

We meet again

By Embarrassed - 09/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at the airport, I was waiting for my best friend who's been away for over a year. I spotted her, ran over, yelled her name, and jumped on her back. It wasn't her. It was a complete stranger who was somehow more terrified than I was embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 295

Shots fired

By Its a gas - 13/06/2025 00:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, I made a pot of chili. My wife came home, sniffed the air, and said, "You're sleeping in the guest room until you eat all that chili. You fart like a trucker and I can't sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 497

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The Top

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 250

You deserved it 2 962

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 571

You deserved it 29 200

Today, I married the love of my life, which was meant to stay secret until we can afford a ceremony. I opened Facebook to see that my hubby’s mom made a post about it, called me her new daughter-in-law, and tagged me. All 3 things we specifically asked her not to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 831

You deserved it 491

Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 393

Today, after drawing a huge portrait of a homeless man to raise awareness about homelessness, I showed it to him. When I told him I was glad he liked the drawing, he groped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 264

Today, I was going through my sibling’s old phones from high school, trying to find pictures of our deceased father. It turns out that all my girlfriends had sent my brother nudes at one point or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 216