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I want to ride my bicycle

By Baddad - 15/04/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I assembled my kid’s birthday bike without reading the instructions. I proudly presented it, only for him to sit on it and immediately realize the handlebars were on backwards. The training wheels were also uneven, so it leaned like a sinking ship. My kid said, “It’s OK Dad, it's not your fault,” which hurt more than if he’d laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 535

Grammar police

By Tiyo Bob - 26/04/2026 00:00 - Philippines - General Trias

Today, after over 30 years, I visited my home country. My nephew was driving us around, with my daughter in the backseat, and I was proudly telling him about her MBA in English and Communication. We passed by a mugging, and she went, "Did you just seed what I just sawed!?" Without looking at me, my nephew just went, "....a degree in what again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 400

Let's push things forward

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 03:00 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I've spent 14 years building a life with someone who cheated, lied, and made me feel like my pain was “unattractive.” I stayed loyal, worked two jobs, and gave everything while he gave nothing. Now I’m left healing from a love that was never real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 154

Anger management classes going well?

By Fuckrs - 15/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, not only did my deadbeat brother mooch off me for six months, wreck my car, and screw my wife, he just successfully sued me for the medical bills he incurred when I caught them and beat him within an inch of his life. Twelve fucking grand in debt. I should have just stabbed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 154

I'm the father who stepped up

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my parents started nagging me yet again to have kids. When I pointed out that I already do, they scoffed and said that my five step-kids don't count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 78

Safe in the closet

By Anonymous - 04/06/2026 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I realized I'd spent 14 months giving my love to a closeted lesbian, who used me like an emotional vampire to hide. She cried about her ex leaving her for a man, then did the same to me. She's a parasite jumping from host to host because she's too cowardly to be honest. I’m just her latest supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 81

Custody

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I regret letting my adoptive daughter find her biological father because now he's intent on getting her back. He said he never agreed to giving her up for adoption and will do everything in his power to get her. She's terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 79

Have fun!

By Anonymous - 11/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I had to watch my husband and kids go off on our trip to Hawaii without me because I forgot my wallet at home and couldn't afford to take a later flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 436

Congratulations?

By I hate my life - 14/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was reminded that I'd submitted a short story to a writing competition months ago when I got an email saying I'd won second place. I excitedly forwarded it to friends and family. A few minutes later, another email arrived, explaining they'd contacted the wrong person. My celebration lasted exactly eleven minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 70

Broken haircut

By Anonymous - 20/06/2026 03:00 - Canada

Today, as a broke 19-year-old college student, I thought I could save money by cutting my own hair before a presentation. I did one side fine, got distracted and somehow made the other side two inches shorter. I spent the whole class angling my head like I had a neck injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 361

Tricky

By Anonymous - 29/06/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I started building a basic bookshelf from a flat-pack kit without looking at the instructions, because "How hard could it be?" I finished just as the last screw went in, then noticed the back panel was facing outwards and every shelf was upside down. Taking it apart took longer than putting it together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 564

Ball and chain

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home and went to hug and kiss my wife. She actively dodged me and gave me a list of nine things she wanted fixed around the house while she was out with her sister. I’m writing this from a pub garden, surrounded by people who actually enjoy my company. Fuck her list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 301

Big beautiful family

By Anonymous - 02/07/2026 12:00 - Italy

Today, my parents decided that I, as 'lady', should give importance to things that matter that is be their Cinderella, their taxi, and the person who should honor the family, just because one of them can't handle her cheating husband, and the other is disappointed that all of his other children are either drug addicts or ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 74

A very good boy

By Dog lady - 06/07/2026 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, I volunteered to watch my friend's dog. Everything was great until I took him to the dog park and another owner asked what his name was. I completely blanked, spent ten awkward seconds making eye contact with the dog, then finally admitted I'd been calling him "Buddy" all morning. His actual name is Kevin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 196

Safe travels

By Sleepy head - 07/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I'd booked a window seat for my first flight because I wanted to enjoy the view. A few minutes after takeoff, I fell asleep. I woke up just as we were about to land, with a dead phone, a stiff neck, and absolutely no idea what the clouds looked like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 275

So cute!

By pushover - 13/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I walked into a pet store "just to look." Thirty minutes later, I walked out with a hamster, a cage, toys, treats, and absolutely no idea how I'll explain this to my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 474

Slapstick never gets old

By Anonymous - 29/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, I slipped on a banana and hit my head. I woke up in the ER and thought it was a dream. Turns out it wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 58

Platform B

By running late - 08/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I was running late for a train and bought a ticket in a hurry. I got on the wrong train, sat there for twenty minutes, and only realised my mistake when the scenery looked nothing like my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 253

Stans

By Not really a fan - 10/08/2026 15:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, at the mall, my 89 year-old Grandma went, "Look dear! Aren't they the singing and dancing Chinese girls you like so much?" and "They ARE girls, right?" I had to pull her away fast from the group of die-hard fangirls who were looking at her with murderous intent. She was looking at a BTS standee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 90

Don't drink and Amazon

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I found a package outside my door and assumed that I'd drunk-ordered shit on Amazon. I opened it before checking the label, which I should've done because it was addressed to my neighbor, and contained 6 pounds of live crickets for someone's pet lizard. I have never closed a box faster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 374

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 24/08/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I bought a new alarm clock because I kept sleeping through my phone alarms. The first morning, it went off exactly when planned. I promptly turned it off, went back to sleep for “5 minutes,” and woke up 3 hours later. The clock had been set correctly. I had just gone straight back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 402

Timeless

By Cindell - 02/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, I overheard my younger coworkers discussing my age. They said, “How old is she? Some days she looks like she's 35 and other days she looks like she's 58!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 87

Islands in the stream [derogatory]

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 12:00 - Türkiye

Today, I noticed that I hardly communicate with anyone anymore. Yet another friend has sent a random link to our Messenger conversation with, “It’s just to remind myself about it.” Apparently our friendships have evolved into using each other as bookmarks instead of actually talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 94

Standards

By Anonymous - 13/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Davenport

Today, my girlfriend asked me what I think counts as cheating. We got into a fight about it, and she eventually broke up with me. Turns out, even by my own standards, I've cheated on her multiple times throughout our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 667

Thanks, I guess…

By Well, that's just bollocks - 17/09/2026 03:00 - Mexico - Tlalpan

Today, my girlfriend gave me her ex-boyfriend's hoodie as a gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 53

Squeak day

By Nathalie - 30/09/2025 22:00

Today, I wore new shoes to work. They squeaked with every single step on the office building's lino floor. People thought it was funny at first, but then I had to walk across the entire office to the printer, going "squeak, squeak, squeak" for 45 seconds straight. By the time I got back, my nickname was now apparently “Squeaker of the house.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 102

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 00:00

Today, after nerve pain and trouble sitting down, I found a lump in my ass crack. My doctor thought might be a tumour or cancer, so I was sent for scans. Apparently my whole life I’ve had an ingrown vestigial tail at the bottom of my spine hidden under the skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 71

Get on with it

By Fred - 13/10/2025 09:00

Today, I got home at 6:30 after a 12-hour shift. I sat down on the sofa, and my wife immediately stomped in and said, "Why are you sitting doing nothing? Get up, there's a million things to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 79

Stinky

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 22:00

Today, I spent an hour blaming my dog for a weird smell in the house. I even gave him a lecture about “being a good boy.” I later realized the smell was coming from the ham and cheese omelet I'd left in the microwave two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 660

Wakey wakey

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 20:00

Today, I was woken up by a bird screaming its guts out. My cat had somehow managed to catch a bird and bring it inside. My 9 a.m. morning began with trying to catch a bird in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 109

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The Top

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 111

You deserved it 46 040

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying, "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 942

You deserved it 6 009

Random

Today, my sister and I got stuck in an airport elevator. We were separated from our friends, missed our flight and had to walk two hours to find our gate. On the bright side, we ended up having a pleasant talk with an Air Marshal on why we were "stalking people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 520

You deserved it 2 883

Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 666

You deserved it 3 564

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 663

You deserved it 3 513

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 012

You deserved it 3 075

Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 034

You deserved it 5 890

Today, I don't know what to do. I like my BFF, and I really don't know what to do. I want to confess my feelings for her, but I don't think she will like me back because we're only supposed to be friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 193