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Bad boy

By naughty boy - 09/10/2025 20:00

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML

agreeclassic 274

vote type 1 109

Not my best work

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 15:00

Today, I tried cooking dinner from scratch for my date. Everything was going great until I realised the “icing sugar” I'd sprinkled all over the dessert was actually flour. She took one bite, coughed, and said, “So you’re more of a Uber Eats kinda girlie?” FML

agreeclassic 191

vote type 1 359

For science!

By Jefferson - 01/11/2025 22:00

Today, I spent way too long trying to figure out why my car smelled like rotten eggs. I took it to a mechanic, who pulled out an entire hard-boiled egg from a hidden compartment under the back seat. Turns out my nephew hid it there a week ago as part of a “science experiment.” FML

agreeclassic 374

vote type 1 74

Extreme

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out why my colleagues make me stand on the far left or far right of group photos. It’s so they could edit me out, because apparently me being obese “ruins” the photo. FML

agreeclassic 506

vote type 1 227

Not a sponsored post

By Ew - 10/11/2025 15:00

Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML

agreeclassic 136

vote type 1 342

Babe

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 09:00

Today, after I had third date sex with a guy I really like, he ended up sleeping over. This morning we woke up, showered together, had breakfast, and he admitted to me he couldn’t remember my name because he currently has four women on the go and forgot which one I am. FML

agreeclassic 319

vote type 1 126

Uber stank

By Not your scapegoat - 09/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML

agreeclassic 634

vote type 1 162

Confuddled

By Anonymous - 25/11/2025 20:00

Today, I trusted my husband to take the kids to the park by himself 600 yards from the house so I could get some housework done. He managed to lose one bicycle, three wellies, a glove, and his wallet. I sent him back. It’s been two hours and he’s only found his emptied wallet and one welly. FML

agreeclassic 440

vote type 1 87

Oh, hai!

By Alyxandrea Loffer - 26/07/2020 14:00

Today, while answering hospice calls, I had to take this one with a straight face. FML

agreeclassic 747

vote type 1 141

Test run

By Naughty! - 17/12/2025 12:00

Today, I took my new dog to a hotel lobby to test his manners before travel. He sniffed politely, then sneezed a dramatic snot-spritz all over a wedding guest’s dress. She froze, then laughed nervously while I offered napkins like a panicked but well-meaning emergency worker. FML

agreeclassic 82

vote type 1 411

Pay Day

By FML Videos - 11/09/2018 19:36

It's fun until the bills come.

agreeclassic 312

vote type 1 101

October Spooks

By FML Videos - 04/10/2018 18:30

Scare or be scared.

agreeclassic 267

vote type 1 71

By lilipalmer - 13/02/2015 06:44 - France

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

agreeclassic 36 550

vote type 1 3 440

Memes for life

By Anonymous - 10/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my dad got blind drunk at my son’s birthday party and decided to describe in bone chilling detail what “Hawk Tuah” meant to a bunch of kids. Hello therapy bill. FML

agreeclassic 511

vote type 1 122

Anthropomorphism

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom - Southend

Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML

agreeclassic 415

vote type 1 167

By FauteuilEver Alone - 05/07/2012 08:11 - France

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

agreeclassic 33 220

vote type 1 3 807

Spooked

By Anonymous - 02/06/2010 18:17 - United States

Today, my wife changed her Facebook status from "Married" to "Widowed". I'm scared. FML

agreeclassic 72 096

vote type 1 5 259

Newsflash from beyond the grave

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I found out my deceased grandmother never liked anything that I bought for her. She would never say anything to not hurt my feelings. The only reason I bought those things in the first place was because growing up she told me that she liked them. Now that she's gone, I'm hearing what she really thought. FML

agreeclassic 443

vote type 1 103

Don't Look...

By FML Videos - 25/10/2018 00:30

It's always disappointing!

agreeclassic 271

vote type 1 69

You ain't from around here, are you?

By Sylv - 15/03/2023 02:00

Today, I was running late for a job interview so I took what I thought was a shortcut through an dank alleyway. I ended up getting chased by a pack of stray cats and arrived at the interview covered in scratches and cat hair. FML

agreeclassic 750

vote type 1 264

By insideout - 10/05/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML

agreeclassic 30 435

vote type 1 128 073

The jug of shame

By Anonymous - 01/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I had a Zoom meeting. I tried being professional by setting a virtual office background, but during the meeting my computer glitched and revealed my real background: a pile of dirty laundry and a jug of Arizona Tea. My boss couldn’t stop laughing because he thought the jug was a jug of piss. FML

agreeclassic 191

vote type 1 434

B.U.I.

By FML Videos - 01/12/2018 18:00 - United States - New York

This is a handy companion to our last video...

agreeclassic 186

vote type 1 227

Drama!

By Anonymous - 16/09/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML

agreeclassic 86

vote type 1 535

Skittish

By Anonymous - 17/09/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML

agreeclassic 134

vote type 1 506

Spooked

By Marina - 20/09/2024 06:00 - Australia

Today, I was FaceTiming with my mum when she interrupted me to ask who 'the man behind me' was. I live alone, so I had a bit of a jump scare moment. She was so proud of her 'hilarious' prank, her laugh still haunts me. FML

agreeclassic 473

vote type 1 100

Congrats!

By Nathalieeeee - 24/09/2024 16:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was working as a caterer at a wedding when I congratulated the bride’s mom, saying, "You must be so proud of your daughter!" She responded, "I’m the bride." FML

agreeclassic 145

vote type 1 5 538

Don't call me Karen

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 18:00

Today, I was so tired that I thought the item I'd ordered a few months ago had been delivered then stolen, so I emailed the company about it. When I checked back on the website, I realized it hadn't actually been delivered yet and I read the invoice wrong. FML

agreeclassic 577

vote type 1 509

Ight imma head out

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML

agreeclassic 442

vote type 1 162

FML Approved, Video #3

By Louis - 15/03/2017 23:00

Ever get that sinking feeling?

agreeclassic 852

vote type 1 207

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML

agreeclassic 34 592

vote type 1 2 829

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

agreeclassic 21 891

vote type 1 41 415

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

agreeclassic 29 515

vote type 1 6 413

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

agreeclassic 35 290

vote type 1 4 254

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

agreeclassic 47 784

vote type 1 6 730

Today, I had a school band concert in which I was doing a clarinet solo. I had a Laffy Taffy before the concert. Little did I know part of the wrapper got stuck in my hair. I went through the whole concert like that and I was so embarrassed when I found out afterwards. FML

agreeclassic 730

vote type 1 298