By BadBreath - United States Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML I agree, your life sucks 71555 You deserved it 9361 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Charley Today, I was teaching a new student their first ever piano lesson, hoping that they would sign up for more lessons. Thirty minutes had gone by and after the 5th time of me saying what a talented, sweet little girl she was, the mother told me it was in fact a boy. They didn't sign up. FML I agree, your life sucks 9803 You deserved it 2997 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/10/2020 15:02 - Estonia I don't wanna Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML I agree, your life sucks 995 You deserved it 302 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Casey - United States Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML I agree, your life sucks 28835 You deserved it 4880 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brody89 - United States - Vancouver Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML I agree, your life sucks 73458 You deserved it 37292 391 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Whatever01 - United States Today, I called off work saying my Great Grandmother died. A co-worker texted me later asking where and when the funeral was. I made up a lie and said some random funeral home and date. My co-workers sent flowers to the funeral home for condolences. The flowers were returned. FML I agree, your life sucks 8187 You deserved it 93860 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Failed Parent - United States Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML I agree, your life sucks 27812 You deserved it 4614 230 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML I agree, your life sucks 57549 You deserved it 4086 387 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xnickx - United States Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML I agree, your life sucks 22626 You deserved it 58744 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Saddoc - Australia - Dalkeith Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML I agree, your life sucks 54156 You deserved it 2957 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Knittedbirch Today, my mom volunteered me to house-sit for one of her friends. This lady has texted me over ten times in less than 24 hours, called me unreasonable for not dropping jury duty to meet with her, and has messaged my mom multiple times to complain about me. My mom already said I would do this for free. FML I agree, your life sucks 11588 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1659 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By divorcee - Canada - Saint Albert Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML I agree, your life sucks 27987 You deserved it 4056 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML I agree, your life sucks 50481 You deserved it 3956 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Foxy0706 - United States - Baton Rouge Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML I agree, your life sucks 29026 You deserved it 2390 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By not a shitty situation so fuck you - United States - San Francisco Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML I agree, your life sucks 13729 You deserved it 755 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JimiHendrix - France - Luynes Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML I agree, your life sucks 28889 You deserved it 7330 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at a job interview, my interviewer excused himself to use the bathroom, so I took the chance to let out a tiny fart I'd been holding in. That tiny fart filled the whole room. When he came back, the guy literally stopped dead in his tracks and recoiled at the stench. Doubt I'll get that job. FML I agree, your life sucks 12278 You deserved it 4457 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unloved - United States Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML I agree, your life sucks 42254 You deserved it 6818 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alaska fire - United States - Eagle River Today, I was the only sober person at a bonfire. After being hit in the eye with a snowball, taking people's keys away because they were too wasted to drive, making sure no one died and stabbing the bottom of my foot with a nail, I got to sleep in the snow. Without any blankets. FML I agree, your life sucks 11118 You deserved it 1075 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lentil - Australia Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 26207 You deserved it 3830 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mydadforgetsme - United States - Philadelphia Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML I agree, your life sucks 23581 You deserved it 1446 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Hackensack Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML I agree, your life sucks 52128 You deserved it 18898 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jules - United States Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said I look too ugly when I cry to do it seriously in person. FML I agree, your life sucks 37989 You deserved it 4810 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MDpending - United States Physician, heal thyself Today, just 8 months away from graduating medical school, I successfully diagnosed myself with basal cell carcinoma. At least all that studying is paying off. FML I agree, your life sucks 2310 You deserved it 119 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sadboy - United States Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML I agree, your life sucks 44507 You deserved it 7177 296 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By single - United States - Houston Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML I agree, your life sucks 29629 You deserved it 1986 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for AAA. Then, hurrying to pick up my brother, I got a $161 speeding ticket. Twenty minutes later, I got a call from him saying he didn't need a ride anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 28581 You deserved it 6723 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML I agree, your life sucks 35545 You deserved it 18335 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dom Today, I proposed to the girl I have known for a while, since our Dads have worked together for 40 years. After I rang my Dad to tell him the good news, he told me that there was a position open at work, which had belonged to her Dad. My Dad had to fire him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1844 You deserved it 108 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Katie - United States Today, I was rear-ended while at a stop sign, by my driving instructor. FML I agree, your life sucks 36563 You deserved it 2795 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rkaneki Twice error Today, the guy I've been seeing told me he did not want to pursue a relationship with me after over 2 months of talking. He did the exact same thing to me 7 years ago. I fell for him twice. FML I agree, your life sucks 1601 You deserved it 1336 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cheese - United States - Sun Prairie Today, I summoned the courage to talk to my friends about the money they owe me for my photography services at their wedding. We had agreed on a fair price, but now they're pissed, claiming that I'm being selfish and should consider it my wedding gift to them. FML I agree, your life sucks 49260 You deserved it 5444 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thats what my ipod is for - United States Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML I agree, your life sucks 45350 You deserved it 3126 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML I agree, your life sucks 51258 You deserved it 2864 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 23:58 - Antigua and Barbuda - Saint John's Caring Today, I woke up with a fever, headache and sore throat. All the symptoms of Covid-19. I told my husband, whose responded with, "Sack up and get over yourself." FML I agree, your life sucks 829 You deserved it 146 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Bronx Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML I agree, your life sucks 23357 You deserved it 4981 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML I agree, your life sucks 63241 You deserved it 21947 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Orangeville Today, while trying to quit my horrible job at a pizza place, I got so nervous that I accidentally offered to work double my usual hours for another month. FML I agree, your life sucks 22735 You deserved it 15846 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smart phone mms - United States Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML I agree, your life sucks 10952 You deserved it 47454 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maggu - Denmark Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML I agree, your life sucks 31085 You deserved it 7381 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By John Nemeth | 14 #7711165 - Friday 19 October 2018 20:41 This is why I have trust issues... Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By John Nemeth | 14 #7711165 - Friday 19 October 2018 20:41 This is why I have trust issues... Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, since I've been falling for the girl I've been sleeping with for the past couple of months, I decided it was time for us to talk about making things... I agree, your life sucks 18 You deserved it 26 2 Comments
Today, I'm in love with my best friend, while also being in love with my wife. I know he has feelings for me too. I wish my wife was poly too. FML I agree, your life sucks 113 You deserved it 371 5 Comments