The Top

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Bad planning

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 16:30 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, I realized that procrastinating studying for my finals until the last day would end up in me failing, irrespective of how much caffeine I consume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 701

Unboyfriendable

By Emotional Damage - 25/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 101

Dog park blues

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I took a peaceful walk through the park, and then sat on the grass. As I was enjoying the quiet, a dog appeared out of nowhere and decided my shoes were a chew toy. I spent 10 minutes trying to wrestle my shoes away from this dog, while its owner casually walked in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 73

Toilet drama

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 17:01

Today, I'd always thought the scene in Scrubs when JD passes out while pooping was hilarious, until it happened to me. I recently found out I have a heart defect that can cause me to pass out if my blood pressure rises, and yes, I did pass out on the toilet and woke up covered in my own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 137

Subway Surfer on a Mission

By FML Approved - 26/09/2017 03:00

You know he's got something important going on...

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 112

Weather report

By Anonymous - 29/10/2023 13:00 - South Africa - Durbanville

Today, it's raining. I got up at 4:30 to be ready to start tiling a patio floor, which will take three days. The difficult customer wants it done in three days. How do I tile outside in the pouring rain? FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 53

Eight hour window

By fishyrael - 12/07/2022 00:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I got home an hour late from to find that my roommate had left the fridge open for the entire 8 hours. The kicker is that I was an hour late because I was at the grocery store, not buying the things that were getting ruined because I thought we had some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 88

Late fee

By Anonymous - 22/11/2023 18:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I woke up earlier to food prep for lunch later. Just as I was preparing the ingredients, I dropped a thick glass saucer on the kitchen counter and it shattered like a hail storm - everywhere in the kitchen. I ended up spending more time cleaning it out and obviously logged in to work later than usual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 131

Mean boy

By Anonymous - 22/05/2025 13:00 - United States - Steele

Today, ever since I had to rehome my cat because he was really mean, I've been wanting to get another one to replace him. I remembered a particular cat I found at the adoption center who seemed to like me a lot, and I decided I wanted to adopt her. When I got there, I found out she unexpectedly died yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 312

Clean-freak criminal

By Bryce - 13/06/2021 04:00

Today, some dumbass broke one of my car's windows to steal the pack of disinfecting wipes I just bought a few hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 75

Double header

By I hope you fucking die, you pussy!!!! - 17/06/2021 08:01

Today, I drove to return a PC that my former company lent me to work at home, because I quit that job so won't be working there anymore. On my way to the office, I was robbed of both my car and the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 87

Night predator

By Gwen - 28/06/2025 16:00 - Russia - Rostov-on-Don

Today, I'm a 40+, aging, ugly woman with bad skin, and gaining weight. In the middle of the night, the cat landed on my face, clawing it so badly that it left actual scars. Just purrrfect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 145

Goddamn cats!

By Cat: 1 / Me: 0 - 14/07/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, when I came home from running errands, the door wouldn't open. Why wouldn't it open? My cat somehow toppled the shoe rack. I had to spend way more time than I'd like to admit looking through my trash to find something I could use to move it, during which my cat escaped and I had to chase her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 146

A real pro

By weddingplannerlyfe - 16/09/2022 21:00

Today, I had the wedding from hell. Nope, not a bridezilla, but a makeup artist-zilla who caused the ceremony to begin over an hour and a half late, and then tried to charge the bride for her delays. She then went nuts when confronted with the reality of her poor time management. “Professional” my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 111

Many moving parts

By AlmostCarjacked - 17/07/2025 00:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I was dogsitting at my friend's house and accidentally left my car door unlocked because I was running in to drop off my interview clothes. I came back outside to see a homeless man in my driver's seat, rummaging. I had to fight him. He was terrified. I couldn’t stop shaking for hours after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 135

I'll just order an Uber…

By Anonymous - 30/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our third date went so well, we went straight back to her place, tearing each others clothes off. It was only afterwards I noticed what a shithole her house was. Clothes and mess everywhere, broken furniture, overflowing cat litter boxes. I could even smell her unwashed bedsheets on my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 187

Public transportation blues

By Frankie - 08/08/2025 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 87

Whining at life

By 847 - 05/10/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, to get my wife off my back, I introduced our two single friends who are both into QAnon. Not only did they not click, but now they both call us regularly to embellish the insane difference between their beliefs and "what that moron believes." Same words from both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 586

My body hates me

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 12:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, some things that are hard for many people are easy for me, like learning languages, being thrifty, and organizing my life efficiently. On the other hand, some things that are easy for most people are near impossible for me, like feeling well-rested after 8 hours of sleep. Or converting food into energy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 163

Hey dude!

By Creepy stranger danger - 11/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 112

Gotta get that clout

By Burr - 27/02/2024 11:00 - Brazil - Divinópolis

Today, my ex-boyfriend not only gave me syphilis, he published a video on all social media accusing ME to have given it to him, without ANY proof, and everyone believed him. Not only did he destroy my "social" life online, but he gained a lot of followers by doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 143

Sometimes, it's better to say nothing

By Lauren - 05/09/2025 09:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 492

Cosplay

By Anonymous - 02/10/2025 15:00

Today, I wore a suit to my first day at a new job to make a good impression. When I arrived, I discovered it was a “casual dress” company where everyone wears hoodies and sneakers. My new nickname? “The Accountant.” I don’t even work in finance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 151

Time don't heal nothing

By Anonymous - 16/05/2020 17:00

Today, I was sitting in my garden with my younger sister when she told me that she'd found pictures of me from a decade ago. She also told me that I've changed a lot over the years, because back then I was still pretty. My neighbours overheard it and started laughing out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 852

You deserved it 216

Jaws

By Anonymous - 17/05/2020 05:00 - Australia

Today, I was violently sick. There was so much vomit forcing itself out that I dislocated my jaw. I continued throwing up with a dislocated jaw for an hour or so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 172

Useful friends

By The One - 28/08/2021 05:01 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, after having a fight with my BFF, she invited me to come along to a party. I found out later that she'd only invited me so that when returning from the event, we could take a taxi and split the cost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 114

Bad boy

By naughty boy - 09/10/2025 20:00

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 109

Not my best work

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 15:00

Today, I tried cooking dinner from scratch for my date. Everything was going great until I realised the “icing sugar” I'd sprinkled all over the dessert was actually flour. She took one bite, coughed, and said, “So you’re more of a Uber Eats kinda girlie?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 359

For science!

By Jefferson - 01/11/2025 22:00

Today, I spent way too long trying to figure out why my car smelled like rotten eggs. I took it to a mechanic, who pulled out an entire hard-boiled egg from a hidden compartment under the back seat. Turns out my nephew hid it there a week ago as part of a “science experiment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 74

Extreme

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out why my colleagues make me stand on the far left or far right of group photos. It’s so they could edit me out, because apparently me being obese “ruins” the photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 227

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The Top

Today, my wife and kids all yelled at me because I was stood at the bookshelf looking for a book, blocking the Wifi router with my body, and their signals all dropped to almost zero, and had stopped them watching videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 167

Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 281

You deserved it 5 467

Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 898

You deserved it 338

Today, my sister asked me to help her set up for my niece's birthday party. Being the lazy person that I am, I got my niece to blow up the non-helium balloons. Apparently she's allergic to latex and I'll be the one paying for the hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 767

You deserved it 60 039

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 863

You deserved it 3 967

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 522

You deserved it 37 037