The Top

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Consent

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 03:00

Today, I fully intended to start going to the gym so I set my alarm an hour early so I could go before work and get it over with. Alas, when the alarm went off and I saw that horrible "5 a.m." on my phone, my brain put me straight back to sleep without my consent. I ended up being late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 349

Oh, hai Mark!

By Jill - 22/05/2024 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I ran into my ex at our local supermarket. Trying to be aloof, I waved casually, but I misjudged the distance and knocked over a display of canned beans. My ex just stood there, laughing, while I scrambled to rearrange up my mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 389

I hate my life

By Anonymous - 08/12/2025 15:00

Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 267

Totally worth it

By Sarah - 10/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 270

Group Chat Struggles

By FML Videos - 05/09/2018 19:30

Bzz bzz bitch!

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 93

TMI

By Anonymous - 28/07/2020 02:02

Today, my granny had the phone on loudspeaker, talking to a friend. When the conversation turned from the price of potatoes to ticks in hard-to-reach places, I fleed into the garden. First thing granny tells me once I’m back: The details of how that tick was all the way up in her friend’s husband’s crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 150

Don't look back

By downbad - 02/06/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I looked at my ex’s Instagram stories and found out that during our relationship, she was taking her now boyfriend to all the places I'd showed her. They’ve lasted way longer than we did, and she’s the one who left me. Seems like she liked how I treated her, just not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 118

Narrative

By ADHD - 16/12/2025 15:00

Today, I tried explaining a movie plot to a group of friends, only for them to inform me I had described three completely different movies. One said my version actually sounded better. Another asked if I’d hit my head recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 142

TGIF

By Anonymous - 19/12/2025 15:00

Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 362

Safety last

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 16:00 - New Zealand

Today, my foreman complained that I was slowing down productivity and costing the company money, all because I was wearing a harness to protect me from falling over the edge of a three story building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 101

Clueless

By Anonymous - 11/06/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after my dad got frustrated at me last month for not having a job and completely taking over my job searching, claiming it’s not that hard and he’d show me how it’s done. Since then, not one company has called or emailed him back and he doesn’t know why. Welcome to job searching in 2024, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 94

Stylish

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 12:00

Today, I wore my favorite light coat to brunch. Halfway in, someone bumped my arm and a long smear of lipstick appeared across the sleeve, matching the napkin I’d earlier used to dab my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 94

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 15/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I had a massive sneeze while driving. It was so strong that I swerved and accidentally hit the horn, startling the person crossing the street. They dropped their coffee all over themselves and their phone. I ended up giving them cash for a new phone out of guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 270

Suit yourself

By AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - 21/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my coworker, who constantly no-shows, ranted to me about his work hours being reduced. He somehow doesn't realize that he's the problem. We're understaffed as of now, so they can't fire him, and I have to be there constantly to make up for him being a lazy ass. My days off have been few and far between. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 107

Amen

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, apparently my bathroom breaks have perfect comedic timing. My very religious parents were praying in the living room. I quietly snuck into the bathroom that's less than ten yards from where they're at. Right as they finished praying and saying "Amen" I let off a massive fart, and my dad burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 118

Magic System?

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 14:30 - India - Vadodara

Today, I'm trying to study for my finals, but some local school is having an event nearby, and has decided to make life hell by playing "Magic In The Air" at full volume while some woman screams into a mic. I'm dying. The entire neighbourhood can hear their damn sports day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 121

Hello?

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 12:00 - Denmark - Aalborg

Today, I found out that my parents forgot to invite me out to eat with them. I found this out when my mom invited my sister right in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 91

WhatsApp drama

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 02:00

Today I found out my husband was throwing a 50th surprise party for me, and no one RSVP'd because of my best friend starting arguing with everyone in a group text. This was going to be the first big party or surprise party that I'd ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 115

Mirror image

By JimmyTheDude - 05/07/2024 22:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, to save money, I tried following a YouTube tutorial to trim my beard myself. Halfway through, the clippers slipped, and now I have a huge chunk missing in the middle of my chin. I tried to even it out, but it just got worse. Now I look like I lost a fight with a Flymo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 363

Once more with feeling

By Anonymous - 01/12/2021 07:59

Today, the pain in my ribs was so bad I thought it’d be a good idea to stick the 24-hour heat patch on my skin to get the best out of the heat. When I removed it, it tore a bunch of my skin off. And I still have rib pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 301

Knackered

By exhausted - 20/02/2023 22:00

Today, I got written up for “making a big show” of being exhausted at work. I was trying to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 154

By TBTC - 31/08/2012 07:16 - France - Le G?vre

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 420

You deserved it 5 428

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 741

You deserved it 8 803

I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it!

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 15:00

Today, I was at a wedding and caught the bouquet. As I was leaving the reception, I slipped on the dance floor and landed on my back, knocking the wind out of me. Everyone thought that I had caught the bouquet, and had fainted from the excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 136

Feeling a light 4 on this one

By Anonymous - 02/08/2024 22:00 - Hong Kong - Kowloon

Today, I started recording my piano exam pieces to submit, and I was proud at my interpretation that I spent time trying to make it sound good. That was until my tutor walked in and said I had "shit rhythm and ass intonation." My mom was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 112

LANGUAGE, SON!

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:13 - United States

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table, I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 113

You deserved it 70 234

Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening

By Bamboozled - 23/03/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 171

Avalanche

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 05:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I fell, cut my hand, and needed four stitches. Yesterday, I caught a cold. Two days before that, my girlfriend broke up with me. No rest for the wicked, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 108

Tourism

By Jaymail - 11/10/2020 10:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was stuck in backed up traffic because of construction for so long that my phone actually listed where I was stuck in traffic as a place I visited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 100

This is how I roll

By Carrie P - 14/08/2024 20:00 - France - Lambesc

Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 89

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The Top

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 561

You deserved it 8 597

Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 105

Today, I returned from wading in a foot of snow to go to a hearing and back, and opened my emails. My boss had sent me an email on Friday at 4:30 telling me I didn't have to go in. On Friday, there was the company Christmas party. He was there. So was I. He told me nothing. Nor did he call me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 172

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 066

You deserved it 3 381

Today, some friends and I went to IHOP. We joked about not having enough money, and as it turns out we were $5 short. We put down what we had and left. Upon getting to the car, I realized I'd forgotten my phone, and had to go back. I made eye contact with our waitress, our money in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 2 756

Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 471

You deserved it 2 989