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Good chat

By UBER KAREN MODE - 03/10/2025 09:00

Today, I joined what I thought was my weekly team meeting on Zoom. I launched into a rant about our broken coffee machine, which I've been asking for weeks for it to be fixed, before someone interrupted with, “Erm, this is a parent-teacher conference.” I don’t even have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 435

Thanks but no thanks

By Anonymous - 06/10/2025 09:00

Today, a woman grabbed my arm and told me she wanted to ride me like a stallion then suck me clean afterwards. It would have been tempting were she not my 90 year-old Alzheimer’s-riddled nana, who raised me on her own and took me to church twice a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 114

Clapped out

By Insulted - 12/10/2025 20:00

Today, I was at the gym when a trainer said, “Wow, good for you! I love seeing older people stay active.” I’m 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 80

Stay in school, kids

By Anonymous - 15/04/2024 00:00 - Japan

Today, my sister and I were talking about our salaries. She just graduated from university and will start working soon. It turns out that she'll earn more money than me. I have been working for 4 years. However, my earnings are still less than those of a worker with no experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 233

The passenger

By BurnItOff - 19/04/2024 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 96

Fanny flutters

By Crosby - 19/04/2024 16:00 - United States - Madison

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 122

Tight ass

By Paf - 22/09/2021 04:59 - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, after I've been cleaning a hostel 7/7 for free accommodation for a few weeks, and the owner telling me 3 times to take a day off while he was able to do the job, I'm finally leaving. He's now (and only now) asking me to pay for the 3 nights I "didn't work for." FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 108

You absolure freak

By Frederik - 12/11/2025 03:00

Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 109

Safe travels

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 12:00

Today, as I was traveling in Japan, out of boredom in the middle of the night, I downloaded a dating website and was cheated out of over 30,000 yuan, which was equivalent to my monthly salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 621

Meritocracy is a myth

By Anonymous - 12/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, as I've always done, I worked extra hard to move up but was never able to in this podunk town, because you have to be related to get anywhere. My wife loves this town and didn't believe me until she got promoted at her work and her "friends" started treating her differently. Welcome to reality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 103

One for the British boomers

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 20:00

Today, it's been about three weeks since I had a very vivid sex dream about a tall man, but had no idea who it was. Then today my grandad was watching old comedies and there the guy was, Bernard Bresslaw from the Carry On movies. Why brain? Why now and why him? I’ve not watched those movies in decades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 97

Prodigy

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 12:00

Today, I have in my living room a Rubik’s cube I’ve been trying to solve for over a year. I just got home and it was sat on the floor solved. Apparently my wife gave it to her nephew to play with and he solved it in about four minutes, then got bored. He’s 8 and I’m 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 190

The Lovecats

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 11:00 - United States

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 136

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 07/12/2025 09:00

Today, I realised I have no friends circle to call my own, no motivation to conquer the day, and no confidence to put my life back together, all because I failed the test that could get me closer to my dream job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 125

Rudderless

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 16:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I went to the local emergency room, upon recommendation of my psychiatrist, because I was depressed to the point of being suicidal. They sent me home because there were no beds available. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 113

Downloading

By Always less important than video games - 12/12/2025 00:00

Today, when I got home, the apartment was clean for once. I gasped in surprise, and my boyfriend came out of the bathroom, carried me to the bedroom, and brutally ravished me. Afterwards, I asked him what brought this on. "Well, I bought a new game and it took forever to download..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 292

Emotional

By Vanessa - 18/01/2023 16:00

Today, I went to my boss’s office to ask him a question. He basically gave me a cold look and replied, “You just answered your own question.” Due to my pregnancy hormones, it took all the strength I had to not burst into tears right there and then. I went back to my desk and let it all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 245

Pucker up

By It feels fucking awful - 18/12/2025 12:00

Today, on a whim, I decided to try to light a fart on fire. I now know how it feels to take a dump when you have a burn directly on your asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 660

Here comes trouble…

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 12:00

Today, while high, I accidentally sent a pizza to my ex-girlfriend's house instead of my apartment. She has a restraining order out on me. This is bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 658

Just my luck

By Bonk - 19/01/2023 00:00

Today, I now know how it feels when a football lands directly on the top of your head. While I don't consider myself to be the unluckiest person in the world, I'd say I'm pretty high up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 148

Let sleeping dudes lie

By Anonymous - 10/06/2024 12:00

Today, there was a homeless guy asleep on a bench. I had to step around some kids and my bag hit the homeless guy. Now I can only assume he was a homeless veteran, because the speed with which he woke up, screamed “enemy contact”, and practically broke my knee, tells me he had years of training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 133

Enjoy yourself

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 12:00

Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees, and her cruise ship fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 73

Nice

By Screwed - 28/12/2025 03:00

Today, I'm diagnosed with a terminal liver cancer. I live abroad, away from my family, so I called them and asked them to come visit me, possibly for the last time. I even offered to pay for the travel both ways. The mother, with a quite indifferent tone, declined my offer and hung up the fuckin' phone on me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 78

Feline Fitness

By FML Videos - 18/09/2018 00:30 - United States - New York

It's ok, they've got 9 lives.

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 92

FOMO

By Brian - 18/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Prospect

Today, it's Fathers Day. Both of my adult daughters called me… from their stepfather's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 173

Not great

By poopsquirt404 - 06/01/2026 00:00

Today, my friend and I flew home from India ten days early. I got cholera and she got groped twice and followed back to our accommodations by a gang of men. So much for our exotic overseas trip… FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 230

Everyone's an expert

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 03:00

Today, and for this past week, I've had multiple people tell me all I needed to do to cure my incredibly rare chronic illnesses was some essential oils. Putting those 'medications' aren’t going to do anything. They then proceeded to give me more advice on how to treat a kidney transplant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 62

Out of service

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 20:00

Today, after I injured my left wrist from holding my nephew the wrong way for too many hours on New Year's, and found out that it would optimistically take 4-6 weeks to heal, this morning I managed to give myself second degree burns on my right hand from handling a tray I didn't know was hot. So that's three weeks with no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 149

Filtered

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 22:59 - Canada - Port Moody

Today, I discovered that my dishwasher has a filter. I cleaned out food from it that has never been in my kitchen since I moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 354

I'm out

By tired af - 25/01/2026 20:00

Today, I’m a nurse on night shift and I went to a daytime family brunch without adjusting my sleep schedule. Halfway through a serious conversation about finances, I nodded off and started dreaming I was charting vitals. I woke up mid-sentence saying, “Blood pressure stable,” to my aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 71

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The Top

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 995

You deserved it 2 666

Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 550

You deserved it 36 338

Today, I returned home from my honeymoon and met my dad for coffee. He told me he's been seeing someone and he's so happy. It's my new mother-in-law. They moved in together during my wedding weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 678

You deserved it 363

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 635

You deserved it 349

Today, I was offered a "rust and accident free“ used car at the dealership. By chance, I managed to track down the previous owner, who was quite surprised I was asking about it, saying, "That one was totaled, I thought it had been scrapped!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 81

Today, it's been three weeks since our 12 year-old son walked in on us having sex. Ever since then he’s treating his mom like she was the victim of some horrible crime and treats me like I should be in prison. He refuses to stop, even though we’ve both spoken to him about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 328