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Social pariah

By Anonymous - 04/11/2022 12:00

Today, I was out with friends, A girl approached me out of nowhere and gave me a peck on the cheek, then yelled to my friend, "I kissed him, where's that drink you promised?" only for him to equally loudly reply, "I said I'd buy you a drink to TALK to him." Apparently, even bribery isn't enough for a woman to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 113

Snarky

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, we are severely understaffed, and I'm very often the only person working my shift. There's a yuppie who comes in and complains when we have to pause service due to shift change. He does this every day, and I'd had enough, so I slid him an application ,and told him to fill it out, wait, or leave. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 155

Suspicious minds

By Embarrassed boss - 17/09/2025 09:00

Today, I saw one of my employees sipping from a beer bottle at work. I marched to his desk, snatched the bottle, and said, "Drinking on the job? You're fired. Get out." I then looked at the bottle. It was kombucha. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 803

Lord of the lost rings

By Anonymous - 09/11/2022 18:00

Today, despite been married for less than two days, my husband has managed to lose his wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 138

Nepo baby

By Anonymous - 15/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, after I took up a job to design a website for a company, I had everything done… but they went with someone else. Their boss's nephew made a site that looks like it was pulled from late '90s GeoCities site, and is full of spelling errors and broken links. They paid him $5000 for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 104

Roommates from hell

By Anonymous - 09/11/2022 04:00

Today, my roommate is super comfortable around me. Comfortable enough to masturbate while we are in the same room. I asked him to stop, which took some self-control because I wanted to shout at him. He said he needs to do it because of his shin splints. Whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 218

Miscommunication

By Wasted effort - 21/09/2025 15:00

Today, after months of nasty fights, I decided to turn over a new leaf in my relationship. I apologized for my past actions and spent the week trying to make sure her needs were met and that she felt special. Rather than trying to reconnect, she decided I'm "love bombing" her and now won't even look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 304

Deadbeat

By Anonymous - 19/08/2021 17:59

Today, I reached a year and a half of working from home by myself, while taking care of my baby, since my boyfriend left me when we got pregnant. Something he’d always pushed for. Guess in the end it was just me doing the pushing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 208

Love is loud

By Spill the beans - 13/11/2022 04:00

Today, it’s been at least the 20th time I’ve heard the “porn stars” (meaning the couple who moved upstairs) going at it like rabbits. I've tried covering my ears, and it doesn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 224

Failed the taste test

By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 16:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was feeling nauseous so I decided to take some Pepto Bismol. However, the fake cherry flavor immediately made me vomit all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 140

Proactive

By Anonymous - 17/05/2020 20:00

Today, my fiancé left to take care of his little sister who lives alone and recently got COVID-19. To be cautious, he will remain there for weeks until he tests negative. Feeling lonely, I texted my mom for comfort. She immediately canceled our engagement party this summer instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 196

You deserved it 538

Baby don't drive my car

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 18:00

Today, I drove through a drive-through car wash. The steering wheel turned left on it own. I was pretty sure the railing guided the car but my stupid ass turned the wheel to the other side and popped the car off the rails. It crashed into one of the machines and now I have a huge dent to the front of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 1 114

Family drama

By No, we never thought to just ask him - 30/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I found one good thing that came from my great-uncle's death: My family can no longer start arguments about his date of birth. Except now I have a new problem: They're mad at me because I was right all along. Someone's dead and they're too busy being sore losers about a date to care. I miss him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 106

Dick move

By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 22:00

Today, my wife insisted on getting burgers at like 11:58, two minutes before the place closed, which was a dick move. As she’s placing her order, I clearly heard the guy in the back going, “For fuck's sake…” as he restarted the grill. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he spit in her fries, honestly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 96

You know who you are

By Anonymous - 18/11/2022 04:00

Today, the way some people just pry into others' life is annoying me. I have very little patience for nosy people who imply and make assumptions about you based on very little information, then air it all out in a work environment. The anger I felt towards you, my coworker, oh my god. I know he noticed and I don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 368

Better call Saul

By Anonymous - 10/10/2025 09:00

Today, I had my legitimation case transferred to another county. Why? Because my child's mother has a lawyer. She moved and didn't give her address, so I can't find our son. She literally filed for child support to be vindictive and is alienating me from our son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 88

Between a rock and another rock

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I'm 26. With my learning disabilities and underlying physical disabilities, I cannot work high paying intellectual jobs. I have too many repetitive stress injuries from retail and fast food jobs that I cannot go back to them without being in pain. Will I ever become independent? FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 156

Breaking Badly

By Anonymous - 31/05/2020 20:00

Today, it was my first day as a pharm tech. Two hours into my shift, I came down with awful food poisoning, causing me to go to the restroom multiple times before eventually leaving. I'd filled multiple controlled substances today and can't help but think my coworkers are thinking I'm a drug addict. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 146

Thicker than water

By Anonymous - 30/11/2022 10:00

Today, my fiancée's druggie sister turned up, but I shut the door in her face because the last time she was here £200 went missing and my floor safe had fresh scratches from someone trying and failing to pick the lock. The argument with my fiancée afterwards was so bad, she’s no longer my fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 143

Heads up

By nobueno - 06/09/2021 23:01

Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 118

Cruel kids

By Anonymous - 02/11/2025 20:00

Today, my 7-year-old daughter squeezed her hamster's balls. She squeezed so hard that they literally popped out. She said that her older sister (who is 14-years-old) convinced her to do it. Both girls are grounded and have their cell phones and TV taken away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 129

Thanks Taylor

By Anonymous - 24/04/2024 20:00 - United States - Westhampton Beach

Today, I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album. I’m a life long Swiftie. I also had a baby last year. Her name is Aimee. One of the lyrics in Taylor’s new song is “F**ck you, Aimee.” Now I can’t listen to this album with my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 547

Nervous

By Anonymous - 14/11/2025 09:00

Today, I met a blind date from a dating app. He looked nothing like his pictures, but I tried to be polite. I said, “Wow, you look different in person!” He smiled and said, “That’s not me. He’s probably just running late, and I’m just sitting here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 149

Landlords need love too

By Anonymous - 19/09/2021 02:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I started my weekend right… outside my grandmother's house, trying to repair her yard. The senile landlord came by and trashed it. This isn't the first time. He's pushing 90 years-old, so it's hard to tell if he has dementia or if he's doing it on purpose. All I want to know is, why hasn't he retired? FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 62

Enjoy your stay

By Anonymous - 16/11/2025 09:00

Today, I walked into my hotel room, took off my coat and started unpacking. Ten minutes later, an older couple walked in, holding luggage. I'd gone into THEIR room. The receptionist gave me the wrong fob. They were surprisingly calm, but I had to explain why I’d already used one of their towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 88

Alexa, play "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath

By Anonymous - 02/07/2020 14:07

Today, I had people coming over to buy some chairs from me. I took a screenshot of their profile because I was home alone, and watch enough ID to be cautious. I thought I'd sent it to my fiancé. I'd sent it to them instead. Now my anxiety is through the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 1 299

Kinda cruel

By TGIF - 22/11/2025 22:00

Today, I overheard coworkers talking about someone showing up with lettuce or something in their teeth. I laughed and joked it “could never be me.” Later, in the bathroom mirror, I discovered I’d had the same exact green blob stuck between my front teeth for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 389

Between a rock and a hard place

By Anonymous - 25/10/2021 13:59 - Canada - Enderby

Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 201

Can't help myself

By NotLearning - 18/01/2023 14:00

Today, I agreed to help a "friend" again, after only finding out yesterday she'd been lying to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 923

Empathy

By jess - 29/07/2020 20:02

Today, my friends were showing me infomercials and laughing at how clumsy and stupid the people were. I could relate to every single one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 279

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The Top

Today, it was my first day working for a real estate company. Just when I got into my car, my pants ripped from my crotch all the way to the top of my pants, a split that was three inches wide. I was wearing a thong and we were on our way to show him an open house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 053

You deserved it 9 218

Today, my boss said to me: 'You know, our competitors are also hiring!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 346

You deserved it 3 056

Today, after getting married recently and my wife making a ton of promises about "things" we'd do, she admitted she won't do any of them and said I should just accept that she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 030

You deserved it 754

Today, I'm on new medication that has a side effect of keeping me awake all night. Now I get to listen to my parents having sex at 2am when they think I'm fast asleep. FYI, my dad likes being spanked and being told that he's a really bad boy who needs punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 354

You deserved it 484

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 222

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 1 461