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By Anonymous - 22/09/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 040

You deserved it 7 811

Brutal

By Bob - 26/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I worked my job then went home to enjoy my weekend. An hour later, I was called and told I was fired, without any reason given. I can’t even empty my locker, as they'd said they would mail my things to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 74

By Zit-Blues - 04/01/2010 13:50 - United States

Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 093

You deserved it 8 067

Keep the peace

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 173

Skincare

By Anonymous - 04/08/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, months after a severe poison ivy rash, I have learned that I now have a very intense poison ivy allergy. As in, any exposure to poison ivy at all will cause my face, hands, thighs, and groin to swell up and itch madly for up to a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 80

By sunboy52 - 05/05/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 900

You deserved it 91 039

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 120

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 104

The name of that old man?

By thisblows - 11/04/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 204

You deserved it 5 582

Tasty

By Anonymous - 18/03/2023 18:00

Today, I found out that my kids played around with a bunch of caterpillars they'd found in the yard, then informed me they'd eaten a few. I then had to scramble to Google "Is this kind of caterpillar poisonous?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 200

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 688

By maxthndr - 10/02/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324 735

You deserved it 38 977

Take what you can get

By Trim for now - 22/01/2022 01:59

Today, after months of getting shockingly more action from my girlfriend then at any point in our last 6 months together, I found out I’m getting more because she cut back on her formerly unmentioned husband’s “access.” Apparently, he refuses to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 780

You deserved it 400

Farm Struggles

By FML Videos - 07/11/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

At least he tried...

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 85

Noise annoys

By SHUTUPDAD! - 17/10/2020 20:02

Today, my dad found his old harmonica. It’s been five hours and he shows no signs of stopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 145

Cat Fail

By FML Videos - 18/11/2018 18:00 - United States - New York

He disappeared like this weekend!

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 72

Wasps can **** right off

By Ohthepain - 31/03/2023 14:00

Today, I got back home to my completely locked-up apartment after a long and stressful family visit. On digging through my nice clean clothes for something comfy to change into, I was set upon and stung by a great dirty wasp hiding in there. How the fuck did it get in? Are there more of them in here with me?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 134

What happened? Where are we?

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 06:00 - Italy

Today, I'm aware that being tied up by your rugby friends is something that happens after a night of drinking. Still being tied the following morning is less fun, especially when you’re outside a local school on a Monday morning, wearing nothing but a feather boa around your waist, and zip ties on your arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 203

No more bukkake for you

By Anonymous - 29/10/2020 23:02

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 203

Worst prank ever

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 06:00 - Canada - Dollard-des-Ormeaux

Today, to be kind, I gave away my tickets for an electronic music event I could no longer attend to a Facebook stranger. Later, they told me they were refused at the door. Turns out the pdf I'd received from the ticketing system contained some placeholder values and invalid QR data. And this happened on April 1st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 152

Don't know, don't care

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 13:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was in a car accident. When I came home, I told my mom. She just got angry with me, blamed me for it, and didn't even ask if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 96

Entitled much?

By r/entitledparents material right here - 06/09/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, a woman came up to me at a restaurant and asked if her autistic son could borrow my headphones. I agreed, but when they were leaving and I asked for them back, she accused me of trying to steal MY headphones that she BORROWED from me. If not for other people backing me up, I would have lost them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 171

Quarantine stress

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 11:01

Today, my mother complained all day while I'm trying to work from home. I started getting chest pains from the stress of everything having to be perfect or she has one of her meltdowns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 121

Sports ball

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 08:01

Today, after almost four years of friendship. My "good friend" blocked me on Facebook, after I joked with him about his team losing. I'm a huge fan of the winning team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 216

Stranded and lonely

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Boise

Today, all I want is someone to talk to. The only person who ever responds is my ex-fiance who cheated on me. Multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 118

Dump the dump

By lily anne - 30/01/2022 02:00

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 144

Wandering star

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 21:00 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, I thought my parents were divorcing over money, but it turns out the real reason is that my dad has been cheating for two years with a 20 year-old girl from his work. He only told my mom two months ago, after he got the girl pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 147

Drama

By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum found out I had a girl in my room and faked a heart attack. I know it was fake because she did the same when I came out as lesbian, when I invited a girl to prom, when I asked dad for advice on sex. I get it mum, you’re a homophobe, so stop faking heart attacks, it’s bad for the NHS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 142

It's not unusual

By nightmare come true - 15/03/2022 18:00

Today, I asked my fiancé if we could get legally married at the courthouse before we had the big wedding ceremony, just to quell my irrational fear of being left at the altar. He agreed, then didn’t show up at the courthouse. Nightmare realized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 182

Slipped my mind

By PaulineB - 12/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I was complaining to my best friend about my weird cousin and how annoying he is whenever I see him (which isn't often, thankfully). She replied, “Isn’t that my boyfriend you're talking about?” Turns out, yes. Yes, he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 399

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The Top

Today, I was fired for actively seeking employment with another company. Because of having just been fired, the other company will no longer give me the time of day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 226

You deserved it 4 581

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 499

You deserved it 3 654

Today, my custom printed Christmas cards that I reviewed twice before ordering, came in the mail. This year I will be wishing everyone a "wondeful" holiday season. I'm an elementary school teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 606

You deserved it 25 147

Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 988

You deserved it 727

Today, I tried to send my friend a link to a really weird porno. Unfortunately, Google Hangouts popped up with a message from my mom. I didn't realize the keyboard focus had switched until I hit Ctrl+V and Enter real quick. Now I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 708

You deserved it 21 211

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 761

You deserved it 2 396