The Top

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It's complicated

By illusia - 05/04/2021 16:58

Today, I was screamed at for not doing the dishes because I was exhausted. Last year, when my arm was broken, I did all my chores without complaint. I don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’d much, much rather work with a broken arm than while tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 168

Nervous wreck

By jumpy - 14/09/2023 04:00

Today, I was literally startled by my own shadow. I hate having anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 163

**** addiction

By Anonymous - 03/04/2021 12:00 - United States - Boise

Today, I was recording a video on Snapchat to send to one of my friends, while unaware that my father had walked in behind me. I was talking about how I can’t watch porn anymore because my phone is broken. He now knows too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 1 408

As a treat

By CrumblGirl - 06/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 146

Good timing

By Business Mom - 09/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was on a Zoom call with my boss and a client, discussing a new project. My toddler burst into the room and screamed, “Mommy, I shitted in the bathtub!” The camera was on, and I just froze, while my boss tried to hold in his laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 155

This needs an explanation

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 06:00

Today, I sent an email to several coworkers about an "incident" I had just created, asking them to look into it. It wasn't until one of them responded that I discovered that instead of "incident" I had typed "incest." I wish I could say this was a typo or autocorrect, but it was more a Freudian slip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 900

By Tomaino - 18/08/2019 04:02

Today, my best friend got drunk and told me he's only friends with me because no one else will be friends with him. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't actually that drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 719

You deserved it 156

The Ministry of Silly Walks

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 08:00 - Canada

Today, I was crossing the street and did a full on faceplant. The reason? I pinched a nerve in my foot a couple of days ago, and now it’s completely useless. It’s like walking around with a dead foot. I think I’d be better off hopping on one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 132

Trust

By No, I've never cheated - 20/03/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out just how bad my boyfriend's trust issues are, thanks to him being cheated on in the past. He actually had the nerve to ask his 6 year-old son if I had any other men come over while he was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 131

Living conditions

By Tal - 03/07/2022 10:00

Today, my brother said he could no longer tolerate living with me. He’s a sex offender on parole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 229

Drumroll please

By Gunaditya - 23/04/2021 00:30

Today, I was supposed to having the interview for which I'd been preparing for the past week. I join and 5 minutes later, some guy joins, just to tell me that there's been some technical issue and the interview will be rescheduled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 86

Nice neighborhood

By dinkley7 - 25/04/2021 02:00

Today, the cops showed up at my work because people were fighting in the parking lot. This is a nightly occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 108

Modesty

By Prudemama - 09/07/2022 10:00

Today, I found out that my 11 year-old daughter dresses skimpy when I drop her off on the weekends at my ex-husband’s house, courtesy of his girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. When I confronted her, she told me to “stop being such a prude” and with my attitude, “no wonder you get cheated on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 184

A bit rich

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, it's been months that my mom has owed me $174, and every time I ask she tells me she's too poor to pay me back. Girly bought an entire 180k dollar farm with my grandparents the day after I asked (also the money was used for gas, and she guilt tripped me into giving it to her). FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 103

Bon appétit, boys

By Anonymous - 14/04/2025 20:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 137

Thanks for your help

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 20:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, after sacrificing multiple weekends to help my kid brother with his various projects, I asked him to help me with one of mine. He nearly blew up at the thought of losing an evening of his free time on a simple task, so I postponed it to later, which means never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 121

Authoritarian regime

By Anonymous - 22/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was detained by a security guard. I heard him trying to justify detaining me to his boss and it was basically, “She was eyeballing me, so I showed her who’s boss.” I'm now banned from the shop, which is a 30 yard walk from my home. My weekly shop is now a 4 mile drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 87

Head, meet wall

By Anonymous - 18/09/2019 20:00

Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 377

Cycles of life

By Anonymous - 23/04/2025 15:00 - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Cazin

Today, my daughter got her first period. I'm the one shaking and hyperventilating. I'm more nervous for her than I was for myself back when I got my first period. I just now understand my mom while she was pacing through house back and forward when I got my first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 386

Ghosts!

By sleepwalkers - 25/05/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 138

Anxiety zits

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I have a second date with someone I like. Usually, I have a minor acne problem, but this week I've had four of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 104

Here's to another 20!

By Roy - 08/11/2023 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, it’s been 20 years since my then girlfriend of 2 weeks fell asleep while I was going down on her. She claimed it was because she was so ‘relaxed’ with me. I married her anyway. Now, she’s still very, very ‘relaxed’ with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 502

Bob the builder

By Greg - 06/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my ex said that the reason we didn't work out was because I wasn't handy around the house. I'm quite capable of basic home repairs. I'm not capable when she's hovering over me, hyperventilating, and screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" every time I reach for a tool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 76

Felt cute, might delete later

By Anonymous - 09/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I put on a new outfit, took a bunch of selfies, and posted the best one to Instagram. Ten minutes later, my grandma commented, “You look tired. Are you eating enough?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 198

Sometimes, family shouldn't stick together

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 07:59

Today, I learned that my family only came to the state I live in because my great grandfather was caught molesting his own children. He was never convicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 71

Unboyfriendable

By Heart.Broken.Yet.Again - 01/08/2022 12:00

Today, after years of crushing on numerous straight guys, I now like a really close friend who is also gay. Too bad, he has already elaborated how perfect I am, but definitely not someone he could like or date. Seems I would have to move on yet again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 277

Bye bye

By Anonymous - 15/11/2023 10:00

Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 153

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 25/07/2022 04:00

Today, after my boyfriend dumped me, my job cut my hours, and my toddler got an ear infection, all I wanted was a takeaway after I finally got her to sleep. I fell asleep too and never heard the doorbell, so they left my food by the door where rats got at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 194

Time to start a band

By Jonny - 24/11/2023 10:00

Today, I attempted a DIY haircut. In the process, I somehow managed to give myself a reverse mohawk. I now look like I'm auditioning for a punk rock band from the 80s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 570

Bob to the rescue

By Anonymous - 16/08/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, and for a while, I've been on a dry spell, so I bust out my good old battery-operated boyfriend (B.O.B.) to break the spell. The film I found to assist in my task had actors who looked like my ex and me. I had the best orgasm I've ever had, while also bawling my eyes out at the same time. Therapy it is then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 382

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The Top

Today, I woke up to the realization that the 2-hour nap I wanted to take before I went out with my friends last night was actually a 12-hour nap. I missed everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 025

You deserved it 34 121

Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 109

Today, my wife somehow convinced a judge to force me to pay child support for a child that isn’t mine. I recently discovered our son was the result of an affair and not biologically mine, so I divorced her, but the judge is forcing me to keep supporting them financially. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 164

Today, a service that provides me with pictures of pretty women logged me out. I don't remember the password, it's not saved on my phone, and they don't have a facility to reset it. Now I must make a new account and start my collection again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 488

Today, I was driving home, when a truck overtook me. Two of the Christmas trees it was carrying fell off straight into my bumper. The car behind me pulled over, but instead of seeing if I was okay, he just went to see whether or not either of the trees was in good enough shape to take home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 021

You deserved it 2 847

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 657

You deserved it 6 577