Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML
Today, I’m learning to drive and finally felt confident enough to park in a tight spot with my instructor watching. I nailed the angle perfectly, but when I tried to get out, I realized I'd parked so close to the line that I couldn’t open the door. I had to climb out of the passenger side while my instructor pretended not to laugh. FML
Today, I tried to parallel park my car in a tight spot. After several failed attempts, I finally parked, but then realized I had parked on a slight incline. My car started rolling backwards. I had to chase it down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, I got into my car in the parking lot, or at least I thought I did. I sat down, buckled up, and only noticed something was off when a guy walked over from the shopping trolley carousel, opened the passenger door and said, “Can I help you?” Same car model, wrong car. FML
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
Today, a nice couple came in to buy a car. I offered to drive it out from the line of cars for them, since it was a tight squeeze. They then watched as I managed to back it straight into another car, causing a large amount of damage to both. FML
Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML
Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I thought it would be easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML
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Top comments
The_Dude_Abides_ 0
lol it happens to skinny people too just have to climb in the other door
MauriceWinifred 0
that's actually.. horrible. ):
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Comments (104)
MauriceWinifred 0
that's actually.. horrible. ):
squirell_AIDS69 0
I love your kitty!
flammenhund 4
That pussy is ugly.. BTW Winnipeg owns Vancouvervin every single way.
mytralala_fml 7
Actually, something simallar happened to me. I was really overweight, and I couldn't get past the chair my grandmum was sitting in. :(
squirell_AIDS69 0
Observing a picture that is there for the world to see is creeping? Hmmmmmm, yeah okay.
soysauce1208 18
how did you get in your car on the way to the store?!
Falcon_My_Life 0
67- Two easy steps. Open door. Get inside.
Falcon_My_Life 0
And guys, stop discriminating 1's picture. Its quite a clever pun :D
usafacadet2013 4
My humorous side agrees that 1 has a witty picture. My guy side positively hates that book...
dramionegirl 0
the person parked their the car after he/she did. the car wasn't there before they went to work out.
shameless58 0
#26 creeper? comes from the username donkey **** eh?
Graawr 7
That will motivate you more to lose weight.
DaveTheBrave20 0
amen
CommonSenseKarma 17
booyah
skiier4life 1
Everything's bigger I'm Texas! but seriously, lose some weight. or, here's an Idea..... passenger door? that's why I call fake.
yeahthatsrite 0
awww. poor you.
The_Dude_Abides_ 0
lol it happens to skinny people too just have to climb in the other door
The_Dude_Abides_ 0
personally I like to roll the driver side window down from the passenger side then climb up the assholes car that parked that close and jump into my driver side dukes of hazard style while making sure I leave proof on their hood I was there
violetsweety 26
i was gonna say wouldnt she usethe other door and scoot in that way
Ali_Br_fml 33
ikr, I was thinking the same thing. other door!!! If the other side was too close too, that part was your fault, & you did the same thing to another driver. (I am not going to capitalize b/c autocorrect doesn't fix it, & I'm too lazy to correct it myself)
Boygenius50 8
Maybe she's so fat that she couldn't roll across to the drivers seat?
thisisLAUREN 0
guys maybe both sides were too close. maybe the sides were empty when she parked and while she was out two people parked too close. it happens often to me. i cab squeeze through but cant open the door enough lmao. but yeah just cause she other side was too close too, doesnt mean it was her fault.
sookie21 0
haha
brighteyes81 0
#25 Didnt the explaination take longer than just capitalizing? You're a smart one!
effyoubitch 5
Whoever corrects you because you didn't capitalize, has no life.
sulitak 27
yup. its always fun to climb across... or from the way back of the suburban when neither side is able to be opened
whatup360 1
maybe you should of went through the trunk? ^^
Bekll 31
Maybe you should learn the word "have" and better grammar?
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I mean you did BUY sneakers -- shouldn't you expect to be 50 lbs lighter as soon as you walk out of the store? The answer is no, hon, you're going to have to wear those sneakers out and several more pairs, I suspect, before you will be less than ginormous. Donuts have consequences.
Sweetie2u 1
wow... @#7
robnunzi 0
everything is bigger in Texas
TXjuggalo972 6
hehe yup >=D
emilybaby2012 0
Damn. #7 that comment was unnecessary.
spanelli 16
10 and 27- You MUST be new...
kariheartsyou 0
How rude! Consequences for stuck up, snobby bitches-Being alone because you're heartless.
ppriscilla 0
aw that sucks. at least your tryying to lose weight.
_streets_ 19
Haha could u imagine if the stranger just drove away and stole your car? Then maybe you could put those sneakers to good use and run after them.
_streets_ 19
oops read the fml wrong...oh well, I still think YDI.
_streets_ 19
WTF! I posted this on the other fml. god dammit. ignore second comment.
afdude87 6
even more motivation to hit the gym. yay.
FYLDeep 26
I really don't get why she couldn't get in the passengers side. She'd have to be at some kind of epic level of fatassery.
prettyteen13 0
haahaa
natas_fml 13
What does your scouter read?
RedPillSucks 33
She might not have been able to get over the console separating the passenger and driver side, especially if the shifter is on the floor.
metalwolf 17
I've had to get across the center console in my car a few times, wearing full uniform and winter gear. Considering that I'm a guy too. If she cant get across she should be in the hospital, not at the store.
TSS_Fan 0
lol@ "fastassery. New word, huh?