Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I got broken up with, after renovating her family's apartment over the last 9 months. She even waited until I'd hung the last lights, whose shipment was delayed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML
Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and the words "Fuck you." Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML
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Top comments
TXFernwoods 26
Get a restraining order, man!
Welshite 39
I think that brick to the head affected your ability to form sentences. You poor dear. :(
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Comments (101)
TXFernwoods 26
Get a restraining order, man!
IloveToLaugh143 21
I think she took 'Burn, baby burn', a little too seriously.
PurelyCanadian 18
I will never understand the mindset of a crazy ex-girlfriend. Take good measure. A restraining order is only a piece of paper, so I've been told.
caver1 14
Is it a grantorino
Credibleskills 28
In soviet russia, house burns wife
GreatGeak 8
this comment kind of made me think of the movie Friday.
Masonjar13 10
Forget the order, grab a gun! Even though the chance of her going through with it is 0.5%, it's good for.. "just in case".
ThomasBombadil 31
Burning down the house! Good song, not so good in real life.
Bricktothehead 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That... She.... Why.... What the hell?!
Welshite 39
I think that brick to the head affected your ability to form sentences. You poor dear. :(
abnormalbird 11
anyone else misread it as "psycho girlfriend of the month"?
reinmon8823 11
i did at first read it as psycho girlfriends of the month.. Damn dyslexia
weveallbeenthere 30
hide the car. run or get a restraining order.
parism143 28
How the hell would it be possible for him to hide a vintage car he's re-building in a garage with the both of them in it?
Nyx_fml 23
Maybe OP is a magician.
billiejoeinabox 7
In that case he should make her disappear. Or saw her in two. Always a classic.
weveallbeenthere 30
I don't think he typed it while she was there. I'm sure she left at some point.
Goblin182 26
If he saw's her in half then she can gang up on him.
stryder9090 28
you might wanna flee the country from the sounds of this one
PurelyCanadian 18
He's still a bus, plane or train ticket away.
TallMist 32
Or boat.
bacon_lover100 11
Get the law involved....
Raelthelamb 31
I think you need to run far, far away.
Welshite 39
He might even be able to bribe Shrek to act as his bodyguard.
ComoEsJuan 24
I've heard Duloc is nice this time of year.
Hiimhaileypotter 52
Ah, Duloc is a perfect place. Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your...face. ;)
babygurll19 10
You really dodged the bullet breaking up with her...but dodging arson?...hmm not so simple.
octopussperm125 18
Who knows, a bullet might be next
olpally 32
Well, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand, fast! Yeah, break up with her, now.
That_Ginger 18
"Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend." I don't think your advice will work.
olpally 32
How else would you go about this then? Didn't see your solution in the comment.
incidnia 15
The post began with him already breaking up with her.
ScottEdwards 5
#10 You're a smart one
sunnyray812 42
Restraining order...NOW!!!
PresidentNorth 16
yes a piece of paper really stops a crazy ex..