Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML
Today, a couple of packages were stolen from our apartment doorstep shortly after being delivered. A little while later, the thief brought the torn packaging back and left them at the bottom of our stairs. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
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Top comments
ajpopoca88 3
nows a good time to find somewhere else to live. before something dangerous happens
PlaidPanda 9
Did you do ANY kind of research/asking around before moving on?
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Comments (172)
TehBoulder 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Get some drugs then, relieve your stress.
lawls79 14
Did white people move to watts?
TheMaster15 10
Great idea, Dr. Phil.
boydeee01 7
How is c*nt licker an insult? Unless you are a girl, I wouldn't mind being called one. :)
urdirtyolduncle 15
Did OP's x get her **** licked while he was sitting on a chair, after buying drugs from her?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Stop complaining OP, you obviously have some wonderful neighbors. You only just moved in and you already got a welcoming visit from your friendly neighborhood drug dealer, a FREE chair, and a whole load of laundry considerately taken off your hands by a caring member of the community. What more could you ask for? Be grateful for being surrounded by such helpful people.
fistnazal 10
Drugs is all around you kids. Look at that magic marker cap. What the hell you think that is, some kind of crayon? Take it off and sniff it and get high.
Schizomaniac 24
Hey guys, I could be wrong, but I don't think #1 is the OP.
iloveweed69 7
drugs not hugs:-)
KeyboardWarrior 10
Weed AND a duckface? You are a PRIME example of the stereotypical teenager.
LO388 7
40 - I thumbed you up just because of the Tyrone Biggums costume.
iloveweed69 7
54 - don't be hatin~* thats mah sex face :*
bteundeadmidget 5
Sex face? Please that is going to get you anywhere with a guy who has a decent mind I don't think so.
Drummer389000 0
Duck face I not sex face. I wouldn't **** anyone with duck face. :P
The_Troller 14
25- I think just about anything can be an insult if you spray paint it on someone's door.
linstar 13
51 - if that's your sex face, you're not doing it right.
iloveweed69 7
LOL @ everyone~
Namerkp2 8
BANG!!!!
abunger90 0
#70 I think I have a decent mind and she looks good to me
overcastlexi 0
Pedo ^
zaaronj 8
Totallay agree
Ugi 27
It' not what you say, it's the way that you say it. As they say.
manny9852 4
probably
ajpopoca88 3
nows a good time to find somewhere else to live. before something dangerous happens
DQEight 8
Don't worry, soon they'll find their neighbor dead outside their door
ydi_4_suking 20
the ice cream truck by my house sells drugs. and some kids always try to threaten people walking by. its real annoying living by people like that
kotabones 0
Call the police or shoot them yourself you sit there and let it happen
tellithowitis 13
Back to square one
ontariowarrior 3
Dangerous and drugs can never be put in a sentence together! No? They can? Oh... Crawls back into hole...
gojira666 7
Ya YDI for moving to Compton
anonymous100000 17
they should call the cops too
Gothicbunnyx3 16
On the bright side they might be doing laundry for you.
xxtb0 0
oh come on, have a little fun :p
Tweekz14 5
If you were in his shoes you wouldn't be having much fun.
jonriise18 3
Wana bet!?
xxtb0 0
omg called joking? i definitely know that's sucky.
PlaidPanda 9
Did you do ANY kind of research/asking around before moving on?
1happymummy 14
Is this from england? I cant see the location but it sounds like something you'd encounter in my country
skyyylines 22
Cali. Where the hell in England do you live?
1happymummy 14
I couldnt see which country it was from. where I was born, a town called boston in lincolnshire, this sort of behaviour isnt uncommon. I've since moved to a much nicer area
murdersquirrel 15
Reminds me of Bill Hicks. "Last night some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury."
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
OP must be from Compton.
causticgirl 6
Nice digs!
ViperGTSkank 0
Ouch. That's not even funny. I legitimately feel terrible for you. I hope you get out of there ASAP! Good luck.
BrightBrownEyes 11
Sounds like a lovely place to live.
Saritazz 0
Lol, I agree doesn't everyone want to live there :D
zingline89 18
Well, you should have bought those drugs.