Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (2246)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25738) - you deserved it (7071)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML

#7470356
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58528) - you deserved it (2696)

On 01/21/2010 at 6:41am - health - by Dude (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML

Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

#7459742
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23796) - you deserved it (8000)

On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I decided to treat my yeast infection over the counter to avoid going to the doctor. Too bad I didn't read the directions. Now I have to go to the doctor to get the tip of the applicator removed. FML

#7455740
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6867) - you deserved it (36075)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out the antibiotics I'm taking can cause you to vomit unexpectedly. In the car. While driving. To work. FML

#7437528
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (2721)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:25pm - health - by addie19 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

#7430497
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29372) - you deserved it (6115)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49759) - you deserved it (5752)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35846) - you deserved it (3408)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML

#7346390
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31589) - you deserved it (2182)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by RAHrahRAH (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

#7340967
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (3594)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

#7339012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29547) - you deserved it (4038)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: