Sex, Wanker and Intimacy: WTF dude?

WTF dude?

By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

agreeclassic 49 163

vote type 1 8 551

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Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

agreeclassic 36 977

vote type 1 5 428

By Juiced - 26/09/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

agreeclassic 29 542

vote type 1 3 391

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 2 656

vote type 1 219

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

agreeclassic 59 839

vote type 1 8 841

What the…

By bunny - 16/08/2009 13:58 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

agreeclassic 66 367

vote type 1 5 012

By Kyra.45 - 03/10/2013 22:46 - United States - Troy

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

agreeclassic 39 201

vote type 1 32 521

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 45 619

vote type 1 5 731

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 4 431

vote type 1 590

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

agreeclassic 39 385

vote type 1 7 473

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

agreeclassic 8 205

vote type 1 569

alexm501 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 12:05

Hopefully it wasn't a banana

KennKenn 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 12:04

At least it wasn't apple pie.

Comments

softballrocks14 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 5:15

O.o

CashChamp20 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 5:29

What a fruit cake!

JayAyyEmm 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 5:29

Guess you aren't too great in bed?

swisher_swishin 3

Wednesday 9 November 2011 5:40

When life gives you lemons....

manic_maniac11 13

Wednesday 9 November 2011 5:51

I wonder how he tried to explain that!

Grouse 5

Wednesday 9 November 2011 6:30

Take the hint; you are no longer needed

TriciaMarie 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 6:44

You should've videotaped it and saved it just in case... Best blackmail ever. Lol.

hyden121 2

Wednesday 9 November 2011 7:27

Sounds to me like you are not as satisfying as you thought...

funnyshizz69 2

Wednesday 9 November 2011 8:29

Gross:/

merryhappy1887 20

Wednesday 9 November 2011 9:36

sounds like you're doing it wrong op

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

agreeclassic 25 880

vote type 1 3 427

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

agreeclassic 49 365

vote type 1 12 081

Today, I thought I saw my ex in a crowded café, so I ducked behind a counter to avoid them. It turns out that I was hiding from a random stranger, while the barista thought I was trying to steal muffins. FML

agreeclassic 123

vote type 1 540

Today, I fell down some stairs and broke my ankle. At the hospital, a nurse asked how far along I was and boom, one ultrasound later, I’m actually pregnant. I had to then convince multiple doctors that I did not in fact throw myself down the stairs trying to cause miscarriage before they’d let me go home. FML

agreeclassic 530

vote type 1 89

Today, I texted my best friend, “Good luck with your date tonight! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” She replied, "Thanks! I’ll try not to, but to be honest, that’s not saying much." I meant it as a joke, but she had no idea what I meant. It seems that I accidentally implied I’m a bad influence. FML

agreeclassic 109

vote type 1 394

Today, I refused to play with my brother because he always breaks my stuff. Mom brought him into my room to force us to play together. He tripped and spilled coke on my Xbox, which smoked then died. Mom just backed out of the room with him slowly, like, "I see what you mean, we'll leave you alone now." I hate him so much. FML

agreeclassic 1 164

vote type 1 169