Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I got a text from a call girl. She asked me to delete her number because I'm too demanding. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML
Today, while I was working at a call center, a customer was pranking me using an obviously fake Asian accent. He kept saying his name was “Phuck Mi”, his phone number was 666-3629 (as in "Sex sex sex free sex tonight") and making moaning noises and sexual phrases. I don’t get paid enough for this. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
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Top comments
AngrySailor 17
Business opportunity? The economy isn't so great out there...
cuppycakeslove 20
Just change your number :)
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Comments (84)
perdix 31
If he thinks you sound like a "sexy lady," get his credit card number and have phone sex with him. He'll get to have his "fun" and you'll get paid while staying dry. I've always thought that phone sex is a brilliant business. Getting paid for talking dirty -- where's the downside? I think the customers are idiots, but the Invisible Hand keeps bringing them on the line.
nelroca 7
It may be time to change your phone number?
stolencookie 17
Just another mother father gentleman wanting to say heeeeeey to a sexy lady. No? Okay face.jpg
football98_fml 20
change your number, i think thats a great idea
tsent8 15
Hey when life gives you lemons.... Take this as an opportunity. You get all her fame and you don't even have to share the profit with a pimp.
Pesticides 19
Yeah, pimps just get in the way
Jkjklkl 14
If you're a woman, get a free voice changer app to sound like a man whenever someone calls. If you're a man, well... I suppose you could find some broke female friends and start selling their services
Pesticides 19
Yeah! Pimping is a prime business opportunity!
spikekutter 9
or get a sex change..
AngrySailor 17
OH YEAH!!!!!! OH NO.....
Californialuvv 7
Wait...I think we can help with your problem, just give us the phone number nd we'll go from there!(: (sarcasm)
incendiaaa 23
take it as a... compliment?...