Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I got a text from a call girl. She asked me to delete her number because I'm too demanding. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML
Today, while I was working at a call center, a customer was pranking me using an obviously fake Asian accent. He kept saying his name was “Phuck Mi”, his phone number was 666-3629 (as in "Sex sex sex free sex tonight") and making moaning noises and sexual phrases. I don’t get paid enough for this. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
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Top comments
AngrySailor 17
Business opportunity? The economy isn't so great out there...
cuppycakeslove 20
Just change your number :)
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Comments (84)
Neesalun 20
I'd change your number.
your_face 15
Agreed - even if you weren't totally uncomfortable with this, there's probably a reason that the hooker who had your number gave it up. You probably don't want to learn what that reason was.
Shepardspie71 8
Go make some extra cash
theworldismad 10
Jim's ***** house speaking, you got the dough, we got the hoe
Melix 31
Second choice of career?
SkateboardGirl88 11
Lol it's be funny if OP was a dude...
beachbum561fla 14
Time for new number
shinicat 11
Just tell anyone who calls that you're going to report them to the police for attempting to solicit sex, as I'm pretty sure that's the illegal part, they should hang up pretty quickly after that.
sinn3r76 9
You should keep it for laughs. You never know it might cum in handy
Shandra78 9
Tell them the hooker killed herself due to bad working conditions and you have a real job.
How_you_doin 10
In any business building the clientele is the hardest part but you have been handed loyal customers on a silver platter!! Take it with both hands (pun intended) and use this opportunity to make some cash and life long friends :)