Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I got a text from a call girl. She asked me to delete her number because I'm too demanding. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML
Today, while I was working at a call center, a customer was pranking me using an obviously fake Asian accent. He kept saying his name was “Phuck Mi”, his phone number was 666-3629 (as in "Sex sex sex free sex tonight") and making moaning noises and sexual phrases. I don’t get paid enough for this. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
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Top comments
AngrySailor 17
Business opportunity? The economy isn't so great out there...
cuppycakeslove 20
Just change your number :)
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Comments (84)
theunderachiever 6
Who's that lady...?
ThorneCrossed 9
So... Continue.
worldclassrager 41
New number now or block him as a caller if you have the type of phone that can do that...
SamCat 21
Hey Op, I know of a sex phone operator, and they can make A LOT of money. She too sounds hot as hell if you listen to her, but she is actually so darn fat that they push her in a special chair b/c she can't walk anymore.
lifesucks1217 6
sorry to hear that OP maybe you should try another number.
imaginaryvoice 18
Give him the address of a ***** house. All your problems will be solved
emiluh 8
change your number?
clevercake 21
look on the bright side, you sound attractive, it's kind of a compliment... I think O.o
buckdharma 38
Answer the phone in your husky voice and identify yourself as her pimp. Tell the john you been looking for his ass for taking your bitch out of commission.
SkyCloudie 7
Maybe you can call your SIM carrier and ask them for a new number...?