Neighbours and Miscellaneous: Which side are you on?

Which side are you on?

By thefuckman - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 941

You deserved it 1 689

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Same thing different taste

WHO ARE YOU?

By Targeted - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 174

You deserved it 2 890

Guilty

By jamienicole1993 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 915

You deserved it 3 336

Bright idea

By theropod - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 061

You deserved it 2 144

Creeped out

By emoney - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 600

You deserved it 3 766

By paranoid neighborhood - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 342

You deserved it 4 226

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Username - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 544

You deserved it 3 229

Cliché for real

By fuckinghicks - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 17 700

Dude, what the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 032

You deserved it 4 741

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 780

You deserved it 9 643

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 425

You deserved it 4 474

ThatGenericGuy 6

Saturday 15 September 2012 2:28

Always trust notes on your windows

Tuesdaythe10th 11

Saturday 15 September 2012 2:29

Your username is very creative

Comments

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Saturday 15 September 2012 2:36

Pick whichever side offers you the biggest prize. Or, better yet, choose neutrality.

Psych101 9

Saturday 15 September 2012 4:10

Good idea, except I feel like neutrality with these neighbors would end in both sides fighting OP.

brackaman 18

Saturday 15 September 2012 7:04

I'd pick the side of whoever wrote the note. They seem like the least rational and the one more likely to do something batshit insane if OP refuses them.

halliemarie1818 5

Saturday 15 September 2012 2:42

Tell them both that you pick their side so they won't know?

OhDearBetrayal 25

Saturday 15 September 2012 5:08

Except maybe when they're tearing at each others throats and they scream at OP to back them up.

Mideoyeo 12

Saturday 15 September 2012 2:45

Be your own side OP :D

savvy711 1

Saturday 15 September 2012 2:46

Put Switzerland on your mailbox.

stevenJB 25

Saturday 15 September 2012 4:11

I don't get it? Or is Switzerland like a neutral country or something?

Psych101 9

Saturday 15 September 2012 4:50

43- Please refer to comment number 16.

SenselessPattern 12

Sunday 16 September 2012 2:34

I don't want to start another history argument about bullshit like paraguay, but knowing Switzerland is very neutral is usually middle-school knowledge. I'm not judging, just a little odd you never heard of that.

RoseCrystal 17

Saturday 15 September 2012 2:47

Time to act like Switzerland and stay neutral but with a barbed wire fence.

walmartpaysme 15

Monday 17 September 2012 5:44

I flew into Zurich once and they had soldiers walking around the airport with some pretty big weaponry. That's what OP needs. Some protection.

petshark 4

Saturday 15 September 2012 2:49

Neighbors! *sigh*

hb215 2

Saturday 15 September 2012 16:34

My neighbors are chill, I don't know what you're sighing for...

FarSide 22

Saturday 15 September 2012 2:51

Sue both their asses.

AwkwardHaole808 16

Saturday 15 September 2012 7:16

Sue for what exactly?

perdix 29

Saturday 15 September 2012 2:51

Choose the one that didn't bleach your lawn. An attack with chemical weapons warrants a response with nuclear arms. Go with the nukes!

pink_raindrops 26

Saturday 15 September 2012 2:55

I'd pick the person who didn't bleach you're lawn (I'm guessing that they didn't do it together since they hate each other so much)......though if you pick the person who did maybe it wont happen again lol.