Policy of truth

By You asked… - 16/12/2023 09:00 - United States - Granby

Today, my friend asked me to tell her the truth why she’s single and friendless except for me. I answered honestly and told her it’s because she’s so negative it drives people away, and it doesn’t help that she’s got bad BO and is morbidly obese. Now she won’t talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 645
You deserved it 214
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Top comments

Chazzster 28

Unfortunately no one wants to hear the truth when it stings. But it sounds as if it’s what she needed to hear. Now she has to decide if it’s the truth and what she can do about it or if OP was just being “mean”. It’s easy to decide that the person who told you the truth was being “mean” but it does not fix anything… OP, don’t bend over backward to soothe their feelings. They will either come to realize that you told them the truth and eventually gain from that or they will just tell themselves they are “fine” and you’re the problem. Nothing will change that, but if you backpedal and tell them sorry for being so blunt, they will definitely not learn from this.

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Comments

Chazzster 28

Unfortunately no one wants to hear the truth when it stings. But it sounds as if it’s what she needed to hear. Now she has to decide if it’s the truth and what she can do about it or if OP was just being “mean”. It’s easy to decide that the person who told you the truth was being “mean” but it does not fix anything… OP, don’t bend over backward to soothe their feelings. They will either come to realize that you told them the truth and eventually gain from that or they will just tell themselves they are “fine” and you’re the problem. Nothing will change that, but if you backpedal and tell them sorry for being so blunt, they will definitely not learn from this.

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Vesi 29

OK short note: Negative Nancy and needing to be better about her hygiene are absolutely appropriate. Her size should not have been part of the conversation. I know a LOT of obese people that smell fine and have good attitudes, good friends and even more than one significant other. Best to only focus on attitude and hygiene.

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MistressAfrodite 5

exactly. her size has 0 to do with this. it’s her hygiene and negative attitude.

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Ubehage 32

I'm not sure what kind of people you mingle with, where being morbidly orbese is a hinder for having friends. Why was that relevant? You're an idiot.

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Rake 16

I think it was an answer for why she is still single part. I'm always turn on answers like that. For one side, yes, a lot of people won't find certain body types attractive. And same as with plastic surgery, certain changes could upper your attractiveness. On the other hand, everyone want to be liked for who they are.

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DirtySalamander 9

you've being naive. being attractive plays a big role in all kinds of relationships. and being obese tell others that you're not taking care of yourself properly.

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Ubehage 32

That is true. But there are people who like obese people too. It's not an obstacle that prevents you from finding a partner.

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Iamthebanzai22 21

I am guessing that she keeps people like you close by playing the victim. That is why she is always negative, and she makes herself morbidly obese so that she is also physically helpless. This basically forces people to take care of her so that she doesn't have to take care of herself. I would strongly recommend that you give her the gift of your absence. This will (eventually) force her to think about stuff. If you really want to take care of someone who deserves it, volunteer an an animal shelter. Trust me, your care and time and friendship will be much better spent that way.

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Taurus_ChicKa 36

The truth? You can't handle the truth!!! :D

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SylvarLorali 4

I know someone like that too - he is morbidly obese, has poor hygiene, and smells horrible. The worst thing about him would actually be his attitude toward people which is why he really has no friends now.

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