Today, I unknowingly left a five minute-long voicemail on my boss’s phone, at 3 a.m., while out drinking with friends. I have no idea what we were talking about at that time, but I know I don’t want my boss to have a candid recording of it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML
Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML
Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML
Today, my phone rang during a meeting. I quickly silenced it, and put it in my pocket. A few minutes later, my boss’s phone rang. It was me, butt-dialing him while we were sitting in the same room. He answered and asked if I had something urgent to discuss. I did not. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I wanted to call my mom to ask for advice but called my boss instead. I panicked and ended up talking about weekend plans like nothing was wrong. She now knows way too much about my personal life. FML
Today, I sent a voice memo of me singing off-key to my boss instead of the actual work-related attachment. My boss replied, "Don't get your hopes up, so stick to your day job." FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML
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