Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stopped at a café before work and ordered a cappuccino. They called out, “Cathy?” I assumed it was mine, grabbed it, and left. Turns out Cathy likes her coffee with four espresso shots. By 10 a.m., I was vibrating and sending emails that read like manifestos. FML
Today, I woke up late for work. In my rush to make a quick cup of coffee, I forgot to put a mug under the machine. I came back a few minutes later to a kitchen counter flooded with coffee and had to clean it up, making me even later. To top it off, I was out of coffee. FML
Today, I had to admit that my coffee addiction is really bad when I woke up in a Starbucks with no memory of how I got there. FML
Today, I started dreaming about being at work. I already work more hours a week than I requested, and I live right across from my work and can see it out my window. I can never leave. FML
Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML
Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML
Today, I had a dream that I was making pancakes. I need to get out more. FML
Today, I discovered the office coffee machine had been replaced with a complex espresso maker. I'm so introverted that instead of asking for help, I spent the day googling how to operate it, all to end up with a cup of lukewarm frothed milk. FML
Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML
Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML
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Top comments
harrystylesfan69 5
Damn those cappuchino machines!
DrMime 10
Does it have an evil grin? Or was it a wet dream, make sure not to 'frapé' too hard! You might mocha latte in your pants.
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Comments (113)
yealcocer 0
THANKS!! now I'm craving some....
BG_caligrown 0
ummm.. no.
Dramori 29
Still waiting for an "would you like some extra cream in that coffee" joke... Anyone?
taydeezy 0
lame
Akharr01 5
Mann, i remember when....... Oh nevermind!
agreedtodisagree 4
I can't get mind off **** and pussy. Lucky u!
Foxy_On_Fire 21
I now how you feel I work at waffle house and dream of waffles. I even had a sex dream about them.
missmakeup_fml 3
You work at a Starbucks too, don't ya?! I haven't had an espresso machine in a dream but I have had nightmares centered around idiotic customers...and somehow there is always a timer going off too through the entire thing. I kinda hate my job. Just a little. Maybe. Yeah.
smilelynzi 5
I dream about hearing timers and drive thru dings all the time, but I don't hate my job at Starbucks... I actually quite love my job...
vatoloco88 0
Look, it's hard at first to imagine having a meaningful relationship with a home appliance, but I'll tell ya', Ive been having a fling with my microwave for a little over a month now, and it's literaly been hot!!! That damn microwave knows how to turn me on... ;-)
hellokimmiee 5
i giggled