Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stopped at a café before work and ordered a cappuccino. They called out, “Cathy?” I assumed it was mine, grabbed it, and left. Turns out Cathy likes her coffee with four espresso shots. By 10 a.m., I was vibrating and sending emails that read like manifestos. FML
Today, I woke up late for work. In my rush to make a quick cup of coffee, I forgot to put a mug under the machine. I came back a few minutes later to a kitchen counter flooded with coffee and had to clean it up, making me even later. To top it off, I was out of coffee. FML
Today, I had to admit that my coffee addiction is really bad when I woke up in a Starbucks with no memory of how I got there. FML
Today, I started dreaming about being at work. I already work more hours a week than I requested, and I live right across from my work and can see it out my window. I can never leave. FML
Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML
Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML
Today, I had a dream that I was making pancakes. I need to get out more. FML
Today, I discovered the office coffee machine had been replaced with a complex espresso maker. I'm so introverted that instead of asking for help, I spent the day googling how to operate it, all to end up with a cup of lukewarm frothed milk. FML
Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML
Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
harrystylesfan69 5
Damn those cappuchino machines!
DrMime 10
Does it have an evil grin? Or was it a wet dream, make sure not to 'frapé' too hard! You might mocha latte in your pants.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (113)
ScarletBloom 14
I had a dream about an espresso machine before. It ate me up.
redbluegreen 41
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best ****** I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about the damn cappuccino machine. FML
yahoowizard 16
Haha, you were really going on something there until the last line
japtch 15
Never thought I'd see semi-erotica on FML.
j_cat187 20
Mr. Coffee would cry if he knew the things people where doing to his machines.
WeAreAHurricane 14
How has no one realized what she just did there?! (not counting myself)
skyttlz 32
I know the reference
SeemsToFail 0
How exciting!!! :]
SeemsToFail 0
How exciting!!! :]
DrMime 10
I don't know what to say about this, I'm 'half and half' when it comes to cappuccino machines. But I really want an even blend of sarcasm in my jokes that allow me to expresso myself in a way that other people can understand.
mdtdnb 7
How 'bold' of you to say that!
DrMime 10
I'd say my choice of words are more 'robust' myself.
lrgenesis 19
Must be damn good coffee
kickuwithmyfist 1
[Insert evil laugh]
mannysaucedo 4
*Insert thumbs down*
mk58 31
23, I'm going to kick you with my fist if you do that laugh again.
evilplatypus 39
I dream about my job all the time. I Friggin love it. I guess that's why it's called a "dream job"
calebhampton 1
I see what you did there hehe
GoW_Chick 15
Don't worry I'm sure the cappuccino machine is having dreams about you too! It just can't wait for you to push it's buttons so you can enjoy it's tasty goodness it provides, but watch out because I think the other appliances are getting a tad jealous of your love affair.
False_Stupidity 42
I heard that the photo copier has a secret crush on the OP too.. Better watch out
wlddog 14
28 I have never wanted to be a coffee machine worse than I did when I read your post.
iseyixes 18
What do you call a Chinese drive by? Cappuccino....