Kinda heartless, but OK

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 16:01

Spicy
Today, it’s been almost a month and a half of no intimacy between my boyfriend and me. To spice things up, I started going down on him. He burst out crying after a couple of minutes because he "misses his sister." The funeral was nearly 2 months ago already. FML
I agree, your life sucks 410
You deserved it 2 888

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Top comments

Oh no, not TWO MONTHS. Wow, he should totally be over the death of his sister by now, jeeze. No seriously, are you an idiot?

He obviously needs more time to heal from his grievances. You should also note that a death in the family is a wound that will NEVER heal to 100%. It's also very selfish of you to value intimacy over your man's feelings such as grief. Very deplorable on your part, ma'am. Apologize and either support him or leave him alone until he's ready.

Comments

Oh no, not TWO MONTHS. Wow, he should totally be over the death of his sister by now, jeeze. No seriously, are you an idiot?

Ambrily 27

Probably is seriously an idiot.

Everybody grieves differently, but breaking down like that after months is quite excessive. But the fact that her giving him a blowjob strikes up memories of his sister is very concerning.

Aiden89 23

Let him have time to grieve

Lord_Hades 14

Of course what the others have said, BUT going down on him is spicing things up? You have a lot to learn.

He obviously needs more time to heal from his grievances. You should also note that a death in the family is a wound that will NEVER heal to 100%. It's also very selfish of you to value intimacy over your man's feelings such as grief. Very deplorable on your part, ma'am. Apologize and either support him or leave him alone until he's ready.

Communication is the biggest challenge in a relationship. Yes, folks react to the loss of a close family member in different ways, and clearly he is still grieving, BUT you are still there, a living breathing human with needs. If there is a way to communicate your needs in a non-threatening, non-critical way, you might want to try that: "Hey, I know you're hurting, but I love you and I know you love me. Sometimes, intimacy can help heal you, because it strengthens the bonds you still have in your life." etc. Your feelings matter, too!

Am I the only one at least mildly concerned why her going down on him reminds him of his sister so strongly?

His sister happened to be on his mind at the time because, you know, she recently died.

I see you haven't lost anyone recently, and that's good. I'll be cooking, or playing a video game, reading a book, watching a tv show, or just about damn near doing any thing in the world and bam, it hits me, and I miss my grandparents, and I miss the animals I've lost. Fuckin right now, I started this paragraph fine but bam here it is again. It just happens, the act of whatever's going on, the conversation, sometimes they're triggers, other times they're irrelevant.

Wadlaen 21

That was my first thought too when I read this!

F his life for having you for a girlfriend. You are the epitome of selfishness and entitlement. It disturbs me that you aren't saddened by his sister's death as well, surely you've met her. YDI.

morenitomarcus 3

He deserves better

randybryant799 20

What is wrong with you? There's not a time limit on grieving.

Yummi_913 18

If you die, would your selfish ass like it if he were over it in less than TWO FUCKING MONTHS?!?!! Jfc there's something wrong with you.