Moving home and Miscellaneous: Welcome home!

Welcome home!

By jeoak - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - India

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 097

You deserved it 2 325

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Top comments

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 30 January 2013 23:00

This guy seems a little unhinged if you ask me. A pity he had to bolt before you could stop him.

stinewd 9

Wednesday 30 January 2013 22:58

Did he take the toilet as well?

Comments

B6LLT 14

Monday 4 March 2013 22:21

Knock knock-- oh wait, there's no door

InfernoVivo 12

Monday 12 August 2013 7:12

What the valid ****??

arioch_fml 20

Monday 29 May 2017 17:43

Don't worry Op, *reaches for handle* When one door clo- ... Never mind.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 208

Today, I found out my niece will born in about two weeks. That's nice, right? It is… except for the fact that there will now be FIVE people in my family with a birthday in May. As if trying to plan for four birthday parties in three weeks wasn't bad enough. Why not five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 374

The Top

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 332

You deserved it 11 648

Today, I paid $50 to go to a war museum. It was so boring that I fell asleep standing up, lost my balance and faceplanted the floor right in front of our tour guide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 228

You deserved it 5 769

Today, our chocolate Labrador ran away. My dad adopted it because he really wanted a hunting dog, promising he'd be in charge of its training and feeding. I ended up getting saddled with that instead. The dog was so hyper it was untrainable, and dad blamed me when it burst out of its kennel and bolted into the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 87

Today, my work is doing a legal investigation about whether they can avoid paying me maternity benefit. According to my sleazy boss, "You notified us too late." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 007

You deserved it 292

Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 909

You deserved it 436

Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 188

You deserved it 46 084