Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, after being in the hospital for two weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
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Top comments
slantyshanty 7
Your wife is batshit crazy.
xoxokelsey11 5
Obviously she's trying to give you another hernia.
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Comments (196)
kez238 0
Dude, think about all the poor people who aren't lucky enough to have someone nagging for sex with them and "harden up".. So to speak :)
lrgenesis 19
Just give her oral:)
at_1sexymofo 3
I would play through the pain, done it before, sex is worth it lol #PersonalOpinion
perdix 31
You ought to give her The Finger! Or two ;)
CoreyC07 10
Well...at least you're fortunate enough to have a woman with a high sex drive!...wish I could say the same about myself...
venomlash 9
Tell her to take $20 and get herself a vibrator.
asherm 15
Is your mouth still working? Oh sorry, that was such a guy thing to say. Haha
HandsomeRatch 20
Yeah OP! Go have sex with your wife, even when you're not horny! Seriously, people. Even if the OP wasn't in pain, he shouldn't HAVE TO have sex against his own damn will. And who are you people to say he's a "pussy"? You can't feel his pains, and every body is different and has different pain tolerance. Get over yourselves. Hope you get that surgery soon, OP. Pain in your back can be hell...
StreetReaper 9
Back? If you can't keep up with the conversation, keep out.
Dracoboxer357 36
56- Lol! I think you read hernia and thought herniated disc. :) But that aside, I agree with you. One person's horrible pain is another's mild annoyance, no one should be too quick to judge and demean OP for it. :)
LVSondra4k 6
You could of had a " Box Lunch"!!! Geesh!! Don't be so stingy in giving a girl her "O's"!!!
iamabamf 17
I think I threw up in my mouth a little when I looked at your picture.
Courtney_Sanders 6
Wow #195. You sound like a really shallow bitch. Just because a woman isn't a walking toothpick does not mean she isn't beautiful. Grow up.
Racbhat13 0
well its simple. dump her and in the words of Eddie Murphy, use this as the reason to take half her money in court!