Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work, I was forced to listen to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on repeat for 8 hours. FML
Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML
Today, I came into work early to clean equipment, with my headphones on, singing to myself. I lost track of time, and wound up with the entire office watching me belt tunes out. FML
Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML
Today, I was singing and drumming on the steering wheel in my car while stuck in traffic, only to realize the car next to me was full of my carpooling coworkers, all staring at me in disbelief. They spent the day at the office requesting songs. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML
Today, at a company event, there was a break. The Blue Danube was playing. Bored, I absentmindedly start singing, “My butt is ugly” to the melody. I forgot that my mic was on and the whole auditorium heard. Not only was I sent home, but my boss wants to “discuss” it on Monday at the office. FML
Today, I was at work when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little "Happy Birthday" to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML
Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML
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Top comments
AnneOminous 0
Um. No. You didn't have to listen to the whole thing. You should have hung up. YDI
_Mazza_ 0
"I'm sorry dad, I'm at work, I have to go." Polite and nonoffensive. Alternatively, just hang up. Is that so hard? You're at work, you have better things to do than to listen to someone sing, I'm sure your father would understand.
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Comments (83)
perdix 31
Did you start crying at that part where "somewhere in the darkness, the gambler he broke even?" That part gets me every time. If your dad sang it worth a shit, there wouldn't be a dry eye in the house!
XKroongOX 0
whilst?
Jewelofagal 2
It's a charming variation on "while" that is used by our UK friends.
daengh 15
It's used by everyone for whom "American English" is an oxymoron. Including the various Queen's English-speakers living below the equator. teh intertubes are not just in the USA, folks.
Sirin_fml 47
Yeah, it's a somewhat antiquated version of 'while', but plenty of people still use it.
crankyinthemorn 0
Was your dad drunk?
ndiesal 0
There's no law saying you had to sit there and listen to the whole thing. You could have easily hung up...YDI
CallMeHush 1
Good choice, The Gambler is a classic. Fairly good advice also. (walks away)
bootje 5
You can hang up phones, you know.
carrotpuke 0
"I had to stand there and listen to the whole song." No you didn't.
flashback.miss 28
this is cute and adorable but have a talk with ur dad..
fme1 1
If your dad happened to be "Kenny Rogers" though, it wouldn't suck as much.
freakinflynn 0
just turn the speaker volume down? or tell him you're at work?