Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
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Top comments
madison104 14
as a fellow swim instructor, I would've done the same
Sandsh8rk 36
Well, that's one way to use a human shield.
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Comments (43)
dragoongirl90 34
The **** is wrong with you? This is part of what's wrong with the world, selfish acts over those who need protecting more.
acerredrum 23
Yes OP. How dare you have a reflex that you have little to no control over and then use this to put a small child in harms way of a gentle stream of water. You ******* monster.
GrifGuy 4
Honestly, that's hilarious.
ouijacorn 9
That's amazing. If I was that kid's mom, I would have laughed my ass off. I don't see how anyone could get mad about it, since the child was going to get wet anyway, if it wasn't already. Unless your friend was using a fire hose or something.
rosiepiano 5
My dad did that with me when I was just over a year old except the thing coming at him was a foul baseball at a little league game.
denna44 14
Fired
ThatOnePolarBear 13
The only reason I am laughing at this is because I have done the same to my little brother when he was younger.