By DetergentFrog6 - United States - Rahway Today, while playing basketball, my friend thanked me for passing the ball to him. I was too embarrassed to tell him that that was me shooting. FML I agree, your life sucks 37785 You deserved it 5029 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - United States Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML I agree, your life sucks 43952 You deserved it 4104 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Liz - United States - Torrance Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML I agree, your life sucks 24185 You deserved it 3569 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By not drunk - Brazil - Santa Maria Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML I agree, your life sucks 34497 You deserved it 4683 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fyln00b - France Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out." FML I agree, your life sucks 33566 You deserved it 8242 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gumchuck - United States - Marshall Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML I agree, your life sucks 26787 You deserved it 16213 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bathroomseww - United States Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML I agree, your life sucks 81966 You deserved it 12370 408 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML I agree, your life sucks 143174 You deserved it 16360 227 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML I agree, your life sucks 51772 You deserved it 25990 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went out on a date with an ex boyfriend that I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML I agree, your life sucks 38998 You deserved it 7953 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML I agree, your life sucks 36750 You deserved it 4487 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By disappointed - Canada - Waterloo Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML I agree, your life sucks 59868 You deserved it 6082 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jaimie - United States Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML I agree, your life sucks 54740 You deserved it 8599 425 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Vallejo Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML I agree, your life sucks 36438 You deserved it 4655 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Flopera Today, I treated my out of town family to a surprise opera experience as a belated Christmas present. When we arrived, there were people already in our seats. Upon checking the tickets, I realized that I had purchased them for the following Friday instead of today. FML I agree, your life sucks 3039 You deserved it 2004 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML I agree, your life sucks 25183 You deserved it 7572 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By doggie_doo_face - United States Snow day Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML I agree, your life sucks 27008 You deserved it 9660 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML - United States Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML I agree, your life sucks 27680 You deserved it 4750 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML I agree, your life sucks 28849 You deserved it 11720 242 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Singapore - Singapore Today, as usual, I got to my internship early, did everything my bosses asked. At the end of the day, I was fired after 3 weeks of working unpaid overtime because they found an applicant with more experience for the job I applied to and they wanted to cut costs. FML I agree, your life sucks 10847 You deserved it 700 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML I agree, your life sucks 51998 You deserved it 7081 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML I agree, your life sucks 31754 You deserved it 7616 213 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SadAndAlone - Sweden - Nacka Today, I got the most action I've had in months when a stranger fondled my thigh on the subway. It was a blind man, searching for empty seats. FML I agree, your life sucks 19527 You deserved it 1960 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blondie875 - United States Y'all need fiber. Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML I agree, your life sucks 3413 You deserved it 1311 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 13699 You deserved it 52429 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - New Zealand Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks Today, I'm ignored and bored so much at my dream job that I've started bringing in my fanfiction to write when no one is around. Which is 80% of the day. I'm training to be a civil engineer. My experience writing fanfiction should take me really far in my chosen career. FML I agree, your life sucks 1219 You deserved it 304 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kissrocks4 - United States - Sacramento Today, I got whiplash from sneezing. FML I agree, your life sucks 22378 You deserved it 3148 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Embarassed - United Kingdom Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML I agree, your life sucks 33052 You deserved it 5826 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, while bagging at a grocery store, a customer had me use some canvas bags he'd brought with him. This wouldn't have been a problem had they not reeked strongly of cat piss. FML I agree, your life sucks 3704 You deserved it 203 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 44046 You deserved it 3306 309 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By What? - Australia Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML I agree, your life sucks 31522 You deserved it 4077 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Coeur D Alene Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML I agree, your life sucks 49457 You deserved it 4804 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Liz - United States Today, I had to watch my neighbor's daughter for 10 hours. She wouldn't eat anything I had to offer, so I ordered a pizza for $19 + a $5 tip = $24. Her father came by to pick her up, thanked me, and gave me a $20 bill. I effectively just paid to watch his kid. FML I agree, your life sucks 57831 You deserved it 19125 315 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Kalamazoo Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML I agree, your life sucks 43253 You deserved it 21733 220 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 16:58 Sounds like a catch Today, the momma's boy I was getting to know cried when I said we should just be friends. He said I was being added to the list of people who treat him like shit and verbally abuse him. He has bad hygiene, musty, wears dirty clothes and I taught him how to properly clean a toilet. But I’m the bitch. FML I agree, your life sucks 923 You deserved it 83 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jentown11 - United States Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML I agree, your life sucks 46667 You deserved it 17984 204 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohray - Turkey - Kibris Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 31408 You deserved it 3100 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dogs_and_toucans - United States Today, my girlfriend of 10 months moved to Europe and we may never see each other again, so I gave her a $200 sterling silver heart necklace as a goodbye present. She gave me a pack of gum. Cinnamon, which I'm allergic to. FML I agree, your life sucks 63481 You deserved it 6764 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By daybyday - Australia Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML I agree, your life sucks 24586 You deserved it 6342 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By minecraftwilldie - United States Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML I agree, your life sucks 41079 You deserved it 14644 424 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ohgodmother - Australia - Hobart Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML I agree, your life sucks 44308 You deserved it 3977 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By raisinbam | 13 #5908153 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:34 Well played. Send a private message 137 4 Reply
By Yeshua_fml | 19 #5908154 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:34 Hey, fake it 'till you make it. Send a private message 112 3 Reply
By raisinbam | 13 #5908153 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:34 Well played. Send a private message 137 4 Reply
Reply tomwantssnow | 14 #5908156 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:34 Seems rather poorly played in my opinion. Send a private message 2 19 Reply
Reply falconjade | 19 #5908166 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:43 Passing off a botched attempt at shooting as a pass seems like a win to me. But fyl, OP, I can sympathize with lack of skill in sports Send a private message 26 1 Reply
Reply lexi365 | 20 #5908777 - Wednesday 9 April 2014 1:58 That teamwork though Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By Yeshua_fml | 19 #5908154 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:34 Hey, fake it 'till you make it. Send a private message 112 3 Reply
By fooltemptress | 36 #5908157 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:36 Did he at least score off the pass? Send a private message 62 1 Reply
Reply TourettesGuyFTW | 25 #5908300 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 13:23 Nah, he went for a dunk from halfway, then pretended he was playing NBA Jam. "He's on fire!" Send a private message 4 8 Reply
By maty172 | 14 #5908158 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:36 At least he thinks you handle balls well ;) Send a private message 29 7 Reply
By woainishamu | 21 #5908160 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:37 Inadvertent deception is one of your new skills! Send a private message 24 1 Reply
Reply falconjade | 19 #5908169 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:46 I guess that balances out the lack of basketball skill Send a private message 12 0 Reply
By ariiewilliams | 17 #5908162 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:39 Not everyone is good at basketball. Send a private message 6 1 Reply
By falconjade | 19 #5908163 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:39 Hey, at least your failure served a separate purpose, regardless of your skill Send a private message 7 1 Reply
By RageWolf16 | 31 #5908164 - Tuesday 8 April 2014 8:42 Just laugh it off! Maybe he'll offer to help you improve c: Send a private message 5 2 Reply
Today, marks almost two years of being sexually inactive after being widowed. It also happened to be the day I made an uncharacteristic decision. I hooked... I agree, your life sucks 704 You deserved it 126 5 Comments
Today, my boyfriend hasn’t asked for sex in a while, like months, and when I asked him about it he admitted that every day I shout at him, snap at him... I agree, your life sucks 267 You deserved it 3334 22 Comments